guest on dance floor

Photo: Rockhill Studio

Congrats! You got invited to a wedding as someone’s plus-one. Since you may not have been invited personally by the couple, there might be a lot you don’t know. Don’t panic—we’re here to answer a few common questions every plus-one has so you can be the best wedding date ever.


Am I supposed to pay for travel/the hotel?
You should plan on paying for your half of the travel and hotel fees. In some cases your date may offer to cover the cost, but when you agree to being someone’s plus-one, you should plan to spend money getting and staying there, just as you would for any other event. If you don’t think you’ll be able to afford it, have an honest conversation with your potential date and let them know that as much as you’d love to attend, you don’t think it’s feasible. Don’t wait until the last minute, so they have plenty of time to find another date if necessary.

Do I need to purchase a gift?
While it’s not necessary to buy the couple a separate gift from their registry, it would be a thoughtful offer to pitch in for your date’s gift. It might be a fun activity to go shopping for their present together! The amount you want to give is totally dependent on your relationship to that person and the couple. No matter what, your date is sure to appreciate your offer to help out, and it’s a nice way to thank the couple for letting you be part of their big day.

What should I wear?
Ask your date if you can have a look at the invitation or wedding website so you can get an idea of the dress code. Be sure to adhere to it! You wouldn’t want to show up to a black-tie event wearing something casual. It’s also a good idea to match the formality of your date so you two don’t look like you’re attending two different weddings. If you’re not sure what each dress code means, we can help. You can always have your date ask a wedding party member for guidance if they’re stumped on what to wear as well.

What should I do if my date is in the wedding party?
If your date is in the wedding party, there will likely be times when you’ll be off on your own. On the morning of the wedding, they’ll likely be spending time with the bride or groom getting ready and taking photos. We recommend you make friends with other guests not involved in the wedding party and plan to do something together or explore your surroundings! The couple may have left a welcome bag with a list of local things to do before the ceremony, so check it out. If you’re not seated with your date at the reception, put your mix and mingle skills to the test. You never know who you might meet at a wedding!

What events do I specifically attend?
Your date will likely be able to answer this question for you once they receive a formal invitation outlining the wedding timeline. If they’re in the wedding party, the two of you may be guests at the rehearsal dinner the night before. There also may be a brunch or welcome party as part of the wedding celebration, so depending on if your date was invited, you may get to tag along. Make sure to pack accordingly.

Will I know anyone there?
Depending on how well you know your date, the couple, and their friends, you may know a good amount of guests or you could potentially know nobody. If the latter turns out to be true, try to keep an open mind. Your date will likely know other attendees, so you can follow their lead to make friends. Don’t be afraid to make conversation with other guests and participate in wedding events! A wedding is a great opportunity to meet new people.

What should I know about the couple?
Ask your date to brief you on the couple if you don’t know much about them. Finding out the details of how they met and how long they’ve been together will help you learn a little more about them. It could also help with conversation starters throughout the day. You should also know your date’s relationship to the couple in case you’re asked by other guests how you know the newlyweds.