Your thoughts on bridal showers

I agree, but why should she not have a shower because she is older and more established? What about getting them something they don't have? And people have towels, but they need to be replaced periodically.

Why should her friends and family be deprived of throwing her a shower?

It really just depends. just b/c a couple has been living together doesn't mean they have everything they "need" or would like to have for their home. I've seen couples that have been married for years that have very little stuff in their home. And even if they do have stuff that they need, a registry is an opportunity to maybe get some nice-to-have's or upgrade some existing items.

Absolutely not. There will always be things a couple wants or needs for their home. And, lots of people are moving into bigger homes to establish families after getting married, so there will be things that they need. Showers are also a time to come together and celebrate a wedding, as family and friends. Should they be registering for frivolous things? No, but that can be said for anyone. I certainly don't think it's rude or greedy; it's a custom.

I have mixed feelings. I've actually never been to a shower, except for my sister's, which I don't really think counts. In the past, I thought all showers were lingerie showers, so they seemed cute. Now that mine is coming up, I'm a little uncomfortable with it. I feel like it's just soliciting gifts. Mine will be really small (10, tops) because I just don't like the feel of a lavish party with the theme "gimme! gimme! gimme!"

You know I felt really strange about this myself. I have lived on my own for about 9 years or so, FH and I have lived together now for about 8 months so when it came to a shower I didn't really know how to feel. My mother and BMs were all over it and wanted to throw me one like crazy and started planning right away. When I said that I had stuff, they said no, you have your old stuff and he has his random bachelor stuff but you don't have TOGETHER stuff- so I caved. We did register for items, but to be honest it was all for stuff that I didn't have and to be honest it was a small registry. I feel akward with getting gifts to begin with. I do think that if FS and I had lived together longer, I would have put my foot down. However at the same time I know that my mom would have thrown a party anyway and if I didn't register I would have gotten like 100 gravy boats :-p

I am having a bridal shower, but not to get gifts, I actually don't want the gifts bit of it. However, my FS has lots of family and family friends in the mid-west who have never met me. My FMIL wants to host a shower for me, so that all these people can meet me.

It means a lot to my FMIL, so I agreed to it. However, I do feel a bit like a pony on display, but it will be nice to meet FS's family, so the pay off is worth it.

I don't know...I guess I just think it's silly. We did an engagement party, just for our families to meet. We made it clear we didn't want anything. I would rather everyone just save their money. We can take care of ourselves. We're doing a registry for our stupid reception in September becasue we're sick of everyone asking us what to get us. LOL. We're just doing towels and sheets. hahaha.

SIDEBAR: Can I just share this very ironic tidbit of information with you guys? I just got married two months ago, we didn't register but I really need a new toaster.LOL!

Lol @ LL

I know many very bridal showers as an opportunity for gifts, but I think a shower is really about an experience with your loved women friends/family. In that case I dont think a bride should have to skip this event.

I do however feel that women who have already been married previously should opt out of the "shower". if a lady who is getting remarried wants to have a ladies event i think a "presence but not presents" ladies lunch would be appropriate

just my opinion

@LL all the toasters you can handle http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=toasters&ih=6_1_0_1_0_0_0_0_0_1.78_161&fsc=-1

Littlefox I LOVE that! Presence but not presents. I totally get the experience thing of a shower. I guess I jsut get annoyed because I'm like, buy your own damn everyday dinner dishes. LOL. We did because I hated the ones he had and mine got lost in my move from Maryland. Which, btw, they just turned up at my dad's house. Yay!

@LL-ask for a new toaster for Christmas. Hahaha

I have no comment on the subject. I guess for me it will be more like party time than anything else.

.

@LL, I will contribute $2 to your Toaster registry

It's funny b/c that was the first thing that came out of hubby's mouth when I mentioned registering "I don't want 3 toasters". Well #1 that's why you register so you don't get 3 toasters and #2 I actually would like a new toaster lol. Like seriously I think my toaster is the first one I ever had whichi s really really sad. lol

I think showers are a great way to celebrate with an intimate group of people... And just because a couple has been living together doesn't mean they cannot get things that they need or want. FH and I had been living together for 2 years when i had my shower, but most of the stuff we have is from college days cuz we never wanted to buy new stuff... So we "upgraded" our miss-matched or broken plates, ugly silverware, etc. We also asked for a lot of things so we could entertain... we love having people over for dinner and such so lots of serving ware and nice bar glasses... I have no problem with showers! You would expect a gift at the wedding so what's the difference? most people who give gifts at the shower give smaller gifts at the wedding anyways... The only way I would have a problem was if the bride threw her own... that's when it gets greedy...

IDK. my MOH refuses for me not to have the whole wedding experience, so she says a Shower and Bachlorette(sp) party are must. So Im registering for upgrades.

In defensive of the party FS cousin has been married for about 2 years and they lived together and had 2 kids before they married so she didnt have the shower. Almost all the things they have are hand me downs. They hit a financial snag and havent been able to upgrade anything. Well is DW hates their house, she said nothing in it refelect her or her style. So if she would a least had a shower she would have been able to pick things that reflect her style. She may have felt a little better. My mom always tells me that I can be broke, as long as my bills are paid and im comfortable in my house.

I haven't read the other people's posts but I was a bit offended by your post. Let me explain.

My FH and I have been together for almost 8 years. We have lived together for about 5. HOWEVER, we have not bought or updated ANY of our stuff from our college years and we have crappy pots and pans, cheap ole plates and just not all the things that I want to have in my kitchen. And even around the house. To me, the ability to register and have the possibility to get the things that I want to upgrade the things that I want is awesome. We are starting a new chapter in our life together, why is it not acceptable to request new and improved things?? Now, if they live in a nice home and have nice things, maybe I could see it as being inappropriate. Maybe. But even then they may not have been able to get upgraded things. FH and I haven't bought upgraded things because it's not something that we feel has been an absolutely necessary thing when it comes to our budget.

@heavnsnt-it's nothing to be offended by. Just my opinion. And this couple is in their mid-late 20's, and bought this townhouse several years ago. Obviously if I was trying to offend I wouldn't have asked for other people's opinion.

I know they are both well-established and make AT LEAST 50k/year each and we live in central PA, a very low cost of living area. Again, I always felt the purpose of a bridal shower with receiving presents was for those who haven't lived together.Before we were married, when DS and I lived together and we wanted/needed something, we bought it (as long as we could afford it). His ex took most of the stuff when they got divorced. And the first year of me living here I was using a glass to roll dough for cookies I was making with his boys. LOL. So he went and bought me a rolling pin. I needed more cookie sheets/cooling racks...we bought them.

I just feel that IF you can afford it, you shouldn't ask others to buy it

My daughter has lived with her (now) husband for almost a year. They both had things from their own places.

That being said, her shower was a "pamper the bride" shower. Things for her. She ended up getting things such as bath salts, body lotions, candles, gift cards for manicures and pedicures, Victoria Secret gift cards, etc.

I don't think its rude at all. There are always more things to buy them. Every bride should deserve a bridal shower. My sister and her husband were living together for 3 years before they got married.