You should be privileged to be in MYwedding party!

Brian, those were the exact same words my husband says every time. If that bride is going to treat everyone she is friends with and her fh like that when she is stressed what is to make you think she won't be like that when she is stressed in real life? Life is just plain stressful.

For each of my weddings, we have had one male and one female attendant. At my first wedding, these were the best man (a former roommate of the groom's) and a maid of honor (my sister). At my second wedding, these were the maid of honor (my daughter) and the dude of honor (my son). These people's duties consisted of showing up on the day, and looking presentable. We didn't even tell them what colors to wear. At my second wedding, my MOH did help me decorate the synagogue, and my son went off to buy the bread for the blessing over bread. But that was it. Not too surprisingly, there was no drama in the wedding party, either time.

@Shannon - hell no, I'll be a guest so I can be the drunken old lady your wedding..lol

Like I said before, we have a lot of considerate/sane brides on here...thank god!

I consider it an honor when a friend asks me to be in their wedding and I gratefully help her with what I can. Thankfully I have good friends who never required much of me though!! As for my own wedding, all you have to do is buy your dress, show up and act responsible. I am not expecting them to help me with every little detail. I think being part of the bridal party should be fun, not a job. I am willing to help you as a friend on my own accord, not because you say so!

I'm sad to say that there have been some threads where the privilege card was played.

Wow! Let me find out. lol

I totally don't think that any of my BM's should feel privledged to be in my wedding party. I feel privledged to have them in my wedding party! I am honoered that they feel that I am as important in to them as I feel they are to me. And that they will take the time out of their lives and the money out of their pockets to to do these things for me. I mean being a BM (I have now been one 5 times!) is a completely selfless act and it's most def a pain in the @$$ most of the time. But I remember at each of the weddings felling so elaited for the bride and feeling so special that she picked me to be by her side and all the work and money and everything else was totally worth it. And for my BM's I want them to spend minimal things as much as they can. I tell them all the time please don't go crazy with everything because I don't want it to be a burden to them. I think I'm the lucky one to have 9 wonderful ladies stand by me on my day and help me along the way.

I've never married before. I've only been in one wedding in my life. Now that I am a bride I am shocked at what my girls have tried to do to make this a special time for me. I almost do not want to call them BM's because they are truly my BF's! Granted they may not be each other's BF's and their getting together on the same age a few times has been my only concern. I personally feel priviledged to know these girls and know they love me as much as I love them. Not sure if i could ever repay the considerate and loving gestures they have shown me during this time. But I will try!

Yeah I watched an episode of Bridezillas and the girls really did think that way. The whole "privilege" thing. I am very grateful for my girls agreeing to be my bridesmaids because they have to travel to another city for my wedding and they are putting together my showers and parties and this is hard to do in the economic time we live in...I think more brides should take into consideration that their bridal party members do have a life :-)

I feel like I am the one thats honored to actually have the girls say yes to be in my wedding. I am also blessed to have my sister as my MOH, shes the best MOH I have ever heard of. She is doing so much for me and I will always be grateful. I don't expect the girls to help me at all. I also feel that becoming a bridezilla is a complete waste of time and energy and you make everyone miserable lol

I watched an episode where the bridezilla implied they were maids after all and should do whatever the bride asked (no matter how unreasonable her demands are). I don't agree with this. When I had a MOH I found her a dress on clearance for less than 50 dollars. She went shopping with me for veils once. She never spent any money and I had no expectation of anything. I had hoped we would spend the night before the wedding watching girly chick flicks and just kind of relaxing. I think too often people have really high expectations based on TV or how other attendants have behaved/performed but forget to take into consideration what kind of people they are asking to be involved. Just my two cents.

I definitely agree. However, I do have to say ... being that the people you choose to stand behind are supposed to be your BEST friends, family, etc. Meaning, I feel that if they were such good friends/close family...they would WANT to help, whether they are asked to help or they personally volunteer. Thankfully 4 out of my 6 BM were AMAZING!!!

I think the honor goes both ways, I was compeletely honored that my two 'maids (as I call them) were in the wedding and such a great help and not like some of the BM's that brides on here, unfortunatly, have to deal with. If I was asked to be in a wedding, I would be honore by all means and help out as much as I can and try to keep the bride stress free! If something really urked me with the wedding planning, say, SUPER short/revealing BM Dress, I would speak up in a nice, non-offensive as possible way. Other than that I would do what I could and put a smile on my face! I would fincaially, contribute what I could for bachelorette/bridal shower, but I would bring that up with the MOH. And by all means, I didn't expect my ladies to be as helpfull as they were, I would of been totally fine with them showing up the day of in the dress and lookin good!

I'm just thankful that I have people who care enough to take time and money to help us--- gm and bm. I do not ask for or expect anything other than being there for me n fs on our special day. It's OUR special day not theirs that's why I do not demand or ask for anything from them. Fs and I are of the same thinking..if we (fs & I) can't do or can't afford it (hiring ppl to do it) then we are not doing it.

For gm and bm we pay for dresses and tux. Wef

Oopps got cut off.

Our wp threw us bachelor and bachelorette party and took care of all the expenses. So in return, I'm taking the girls out for mani n pedi with mini massage before the big day--in a way to say thank you and to get them ready for one hectic day. Not sure wat fs will do for the gm yet.

I wish that some of the WW brides on here would be honest in replying to your post and are probably in hiding because everyday there are threads complaining about what this BM did what this MOH didn't do etc. so I think it is very on point to think that a lot of ladies on WW have that entitlement mindset which says you should feel privileged that I picked you.

I'm lucky enough that like 2d bride we're only having my sister (moh), step-daughter (jr moh) and his best man! My sister has been so helpful beyond anything. All I want from her is to try on dresses, pick one, I paid for it and wear it and show up on time. The fact that her and my mom are throwing me a bridal shower, bonus. I even told them I would help with it, I know money is tight for my sister that's why I paid for her dress. She's the one who keeps asking what else needs to be done, she never got a formal wedding so I think this is her chance to have fun, we have a lot of the same taste so it's working perfectly! And we ordered hers and my step-daughter's dresses on Saturday... one big check down! But I agree with Sharon!

This thread makes me giggle. I was channel surfing and landed on Bridezillas yesterday. I told Fh is was educational and a 'How to' show... He just looked at me like I had lost my mind. He told me if I EVER acted like that with our friends, he would pack up and be GONE in a heartbeat. I told him that if I acted like that, I know he wouldn't even bother packing... He'd grab his , his Xbox and truck keys...

Lol at Meghan

I also, like you, believe that we should feel thrilled that they decided to accept to be in our wedding because it is somewhat of an inconvenience, monetarily and otherwise. I'm a pretty laid-back type of person and I do appreciate the things that people do for me so I wouldn't be one of those brides. Those type need to "grow up".