WR: Guest Declined But Sent Check (HELP!!)

I have already cashed a couple checks before the wedding. I had no idea that I shouldn't. I guess I like it when people cash my checks right away so I did the same thing. Is this bad?

And, I didn't know checks expire, either. Hmm.

Most banks checks are good for 6 months, but it should say so on the check in really fine print.

Something fun.... "call me superstitious, but I won't open a gift before the wedding. Thank you so much for your generous gift. We will be cashing it in right before the wedding. so sorry you can not make it to the wedding. We will be thinking of you."

or something like that

*spelling errors

@Rachael: I do know that you aren't suppose to use gifts before the wedding so I was just assuming the same would apply for checks.

I'm not sure it is the same for checks. I have held checks that were presents and the people called and said please cash it so they could reconcile their checkbook! LOL! I got it about 15 days before Christmas and like 2 days before Christmas I got the call asking me to cash it.

But I like Hayley's suggestion to let them know why you are holding it.

Checks are good for more than 90 days.

I am a little confused about the whole gifts before the wedding thing. Are you supposed to open them before the wedding and just not use them yet or are you not supposed to even open them?

If you are not supposed to open them, how are you going to send a thank you card? If someone sends a gift early, you don't want to wait months to send them a card.

Wait, why are you sending invites already? I thought it was 4-6 weeks, and 8-10 for a DW? Just want to make sure I didn't miss the mark to send my invites out

Hmm. I know you aren't supposed to use gifts. You open them, send a thank you, and then wait until after the wedding.

So for checks, I have been cashing them but stashing the money for after the wedding. No clue if that is the right thing to do or not!

I love Hayley's suggestion. Darn girl, you are good with words!

Alot of people expect you to cash their check immediately just cause they want to have their check book balance and have that checked cleared already

@ Rachael A., I am with you. I mean I have opened the boxes that arrived this far and sent the thank you notes to those people, a few are guests who are not even coming. I don't know the right way either but I did cash two checks that I was sent.

I had a friend that held them till after and they all bounced! People forget about stuff like that. I hate it when people hold checks I write them so I didn't want to do the same and have to have the awkward ummm your check bounced convo. I think its a case by case thing. Everyone is different

Etiquette is back pedaling nowadays: http://etiquette-guide.com/wedding-etiquette-%E2%80%93-when-should-i-cash-the-gift-checks/

(Due to concerns with waiting to cash checks, go ahead and do it -- and don't forget the thank you notes!)

Please DO NOT wait to cash the check. It makes it really hard for the people who do what they are supposed to do and reconcile their checkbook. The people who sent it do not expect you to wait 3 months to cash it or they would have sent it to you then! I have had this happen to me before (not a wedding) and was really upset at the people I gave the gift to. I swore I would never send them a check again. It was such a pain to balance my checkbook month after month. Don't make these nice people regret they gave you a check early.

@WBM: My invites had to go out early because we are competing with 2 other weddingsbeing held on the same weekend so we need to know if people aren't able to attend so that we can invite others instead to ensure we hit our food and beverage minimum. Plus, our deadline with the venue is early September so we need to have our number nailed down by end of August at the latest.

Thanks ladies. I'll cash it and get that TY in the mail pronto.

I'm planning to cash any and all checks that come to me but putting them into savings that I will not touch till after the wedding ... as for gifts, I think it is a personal preference ... some use them right away and others wait to use them but I'd probably leave them in the box since I'm moving in with FS after the wedding and right now I live with the parents

I like Hayley's suggestion..but personally, if I sent someone a cheque, I'd want it cashed right away.. you never know what might come up later, the money might not be in their account, then you are both charged for NSF... I'd cash it, and put the money away for after the wedding

I wouldn't wait to cash it, but I definitely WOULD write the thank you and put it in the mail right away so that they receive it before you cash the check (give it about a week). Like others have said, waiting could make it difficult for the gift-givers to balance their checkbooks.

You can (and should) deposit checks before the wedding. You just shouldn't spend the money before the wedding. The theory on not using gifts before the wedding is that you should be able to return them to guests if you end up not getting married. For money gifts, that means you still have to have the money, not that you still have to have the physical check.