Would you consider this cheating?

I wouldn't consider it cheating if he didn't actually do anything with her but I would completely flip out. That behavior is completely unacceptable with another woman that isn't your wife.

Its not necessarily cheating, but is unacceptable behavior. I would freak!

I dunno... but i would totally tell his wife. if this was your husband would you want to know?

his behavior is totally unacceptable as bay said. and he needs to be called out on it.

maybe talk to him and give him the oppertunity to tellhis wife and if he doesnt then you tell her.

I guess it depends on the kind of relationship they have as a married couple. That would be totally unacceptable in my relationship but others may feel differently. If you don't know the GM wife, though I would stay out of it.

This is a hard one! I don't know if I'd go so far as to call it cheating but it certainly would be behavior I'd find completely inappropriate! He obviously wasn't forthcoming with your friend about his being married. I don't know, but I think you are right to be mad.

Yeah, unfortunately I don't really know his wife. I met her once for 5 seconds at their wedding...so I don't really feel comfortable calling her out of the blue and telling her about this. If she were my friend, that would be a different story. I am very protective of my girls!

Well, I find it very unacceptable and distasteful of him to do this. Makes me think that perhaps he should not have gotten married if just a few months later (after his wedding) he is holding someone's hand. Drunk or not, I don't think this is acceptable behavior. I don't think my fiancee would be okay with it if he found out I was holding someone's hand. And if I gave the excuse that I only did it because I was drunk, he'd be even more upset that I was using this as an excuse and that I felt it was okay because of that. Is someone going to tell this groomsmans's wife?

I would be furious. My FH knows that I would never accept that sort of behaviour. Im sorry I dont care how drunk a man is that is no excuse to do that and he obviously wasnt drunk enough that he couldnt walk her home so he couldnt of been that bad. I would tell him that you find his behaviour inappropriate. If you are close with his wife then I would mention it but try to not make a huge deal out of it with her but if you arent close then its probably best not to tell her. Technically he didnt cheat and maybe in their relationship that behaviour is okay so it depends how well you know her.

I don't know if it's your place to tell this woman about her husband if she's not a close friend of yours....but if I were you my biggest concern would be my husband's reaction to his friend's behavior. If your husband is defending this does that mean he condones it and would do it himself? I don't care how drunk I was, I'd never hold hands with another man or be inappropriate like that because I am married and devoted to my husband. There is no excuse for it that makes it ok so why is your husband trying make excuses? Some men do think flirting, etc is ok as long as it's not physically cheating. Make sure your husband and you have a clear definition of what's ok in YOUR relationship. You can't assume that he has the same guidlines as you do so talk about it openly together, trying to not get to defensive in it. She didn't know he was married so does that mean he didn't wear his ring to the wedding? YIKES!

I wouldnt concider it "cheating" but at the same time I would be very upset and feel its very inappropriate and see it as a indicator of a problem in our marriage. I dont know if I would tell his wife though. In the event that he was drunk, or maybe they had had a very bad fight and in a drunken state was looking for comfort....anything, he might be beating himself up on how close he got to cheating and it might scare him straight. You are right to be mad and If your close enough to them you can monitor how he acts from here on out. If he continues like this you can always pull him aside and talk to him about his behavior and how it WILL effect his marriage. It will be up to him then if he listens or not.

He is FH's friend from high school and lives in another state with his wife. I had only met him a couple of times and like I said I only met his wife at their wedding, and I talked with her for a very short time. I don't know if he was wearing his ring or not, it may be that my friend didn't notice it. I just found out that he made a comment to a male friend of mine later that night that BM had tried to proposition him or something! I don't know who to believe, they were ALL wasted...

Since everyone was at your wedding and having a good time I wouldn't worry too much about it. Also since you don't know the mans wife it isn't something you have to be concerned with. He didn't get your friends number or anything did he?

It might not officialy be cheating, but it is wrong on so many levels.

If you don't know the guy's wife personally I wouldn't say anything to her. She's very likely to defend him or take his side if he says he didn't do it. I don't think that it would be considered cheating but I would say it was inappropriate.

Not cheating per say...but I would def be very ticked off!!

It may not be cheating but it is completely wrong and I'd flip out but unfortantlly, I don't think it'd be right for you to say anything to the wife if you are only friends via hubby's being friends.. It is completely inappropriate for him to even go close to holding hands let alone doing so...

I agree with pretty much everyone else. While not cheating, it was definitely bad behavior. Especially since the woman did not know he was married. To me, actions speak louder than words. Him flirting and holding the hand of another woman is completely disrespectful towards his wife.

Inappropriate behavior thats for sure! I agree with pp, it may not be cheating but if it were my fh pulling something like that I would be furious!

This reminds me of a story that scares the hell outa me. my DH worked with and was close friends with a guy until he saw the guy get prostitutes when they were overseas with the military, the guy is married with kids. He cheats a LOT. So my DH severed the friendship. I met them at a wedding a while ago, I already knew the story so meeting the wife and kids was heart breaking. Worst part was she was awesome and wanted to become friends with me. She didn't know Y my DH hadn't been around in so long and she started inviting us over for all kinds of stuff. Then she starts telling me how she used to have a hard time trusting her H when he was deployed but she realized she was being crazy and let it go!! OMG, I wanted to throw up! We obviously did not hang out with them again. How could I become friends with her and never tell her? But how could I destroy a 10 year marriage with kids?Of course my DH was so disgusted by his friend he wanted nothing to do with him either.This stuff just SUCKS!

If i were in this situation i would be pretty upset! wouldnt call it cheating BUT if he is olding another girls hand only a few months after the wedding what is he going to do in a year.....i would let his wife know what happened so she knows and then she can take care of it from thhere.