Worried about fiance's family objecting/causing a raucous during the ceremony.

Can't you just ask your officiant to take out the part you're referring to? "Speak now or forever hold your peace", etc. It doesn't have to be included- in fact, I haven't heard it in YEARS... just remove it.

Good luck!

I agree that you should be able to ask your officient to take out the objection part.

I didn't have it at my wedding but one of my cousins married into a family of white supremacists which opposed their marriage but showed up for the sake of objecting. They had the DOC and security at the venue during the ceremony. The grandfather and an uncle objected. The DOC pulled them aside and they were seamlessly escorted out of the building.

Maybe consider some security? I'm so so so sorry you are dealing with this.

I don't think I have ever been to a wedding that included a time for guests to object. If your ceremony was going to include it I would ask the officiant to skip that.

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Yes, I'm definitely excluding that part, for sure. But his grandma is so crazy that she'd still stand-up to object no matter what. She's really rude to everyone (hence, why no one wants to be around her). Someone in here brought up having security at the wedding. I'm seriously considering that, as bogus as that sounds.

Thank you for replying!

First off, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and having to stress about this. My wedding isn’t for another 2 years, but I’ve been having similar feelings that a certain guest might do something ridiculous like this just out of spite. She’s already made indirect comments about FW and I’s relationship and engagement. I would love to not invite her but I know it will cause almost just as much drama as her acting out.

If not inviting them isn’t an option, then I would make sure your officiant does not include the “speak now...” phrase. Who knows hopefully they will sit quietly during the ceremony and not make a sound. If they do, honestly they will look so ridiculous and disrespectful

Honestly, I can't recall a time that I've even heard an officiant ask if anyone objects during a wedding. Ours didn't. That said, do what @Aimee said above, and specifically ask your officiant to not say that line.

And not for nothing, but if someone really did stand up and yell "I object!", would that really even change anything? Would you really stop your wedding and be like "ok, I guess everyone should just go home now"? I don't think you would. At least I hope you wouldn't. And if that really happened, don't you think someone sitting near her would tell her to sit down/stop/try to take her out of the room? She may be a heinous person, but she can't prevent you from getting married.

View Quoted Comment Same here. What does FH say? I get that you are stressed but I would have him try to figure out a solution, like having someone else watch them and try to prevent any outbursts. There is really nothing you can do besides hiring security and having anyone who misbehaves escorted out.

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Wow, I can't believe anyone would want to marry into that. That's 10 times worse than what I'm dealing with! In my case it's just the great grandma and grandma who are racist. The rest of his family are actually pleasant.

I had been considering security of some type, yes, in the form of my own father and his best friend, who's like an uncle to me. I'm sure if I ask them to be on the lookout they'd be more than happy to step up and do something if it comes to that. My dad used to be a bouncer back in the day when he first came to this country anyway, so he already has some experience with that, lol. But then again I wouldn't them getting into trouble themselves so perhaps official security will be needed. All this is just terrible (I mean, having to invite people you don't want at your wedding).

Thank you for the idea and for the response.

View Quoted Comment I mean her husband and a few family members are normal human beings. It was so so awkward. The officiant was really good at bringing the attention back to the couple and love and celebrating the ceremony!

I wouldn't recommend having your guests doing it because it could lead to an altercation. I'd recommend contacting local police to see if you can hire a cop for security for the day. I'd also wait for RSVPs to come back. Hopefully she'll RSVP "no"

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I've been to a lot of weddings and have never heard that line, only on tv/movies where it's needed for the drama. Have your officiant skip that part. And if that's really how grandma is, don't invite her. Seriously. I know it's harsh, but if that's really the kind of person she is, do you really want her there?

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@An - email the mods and ask for my email, I have a question.

I would not worry too much - I know this is easy to say but like a previous poster said: She might just RSVP no and not attend. Would your fiance approach her say "Look I know you love me and want me to be happy, and my fiance does make me very happy! I want you to support our union and if you can't then maybe you should not attend."

I would not invite the crazy eldest daughter of great gramma, to be blunt. She can't play nice she does not get to play in my sandbox.

My fiance and I are both worried about this occurring, with the ex best man. Sadly, we've had to deal with a lot of drama, and while my usual line is that it's never acceptable to kick out a wedding party member, there are times when it's appropriate!

My fiance and his ex best man had been close friends for most of their adult lives. The long and short of it is, ex best man was secretly in love with my fiance and so tried to destroy our relationship when we got engaged. My fiance had to end the friendship, sadly.

So yeah, we're both worried that this guy will crash the wedding, a la My Best Friend's Wedding (because of course he knows where it is and whatnot, he was the best man!). I have a friend who is a licensed security guard and he promised me if this guy shows up that we will never see him and he'll be removed from the premises, but we can't stop the anxiety anyway.

I hope that neither of us has anything to worry about!

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I second waiting for the RSVP. How close is your wedding to where she lives? Most people that age don't like to or can't travel too far.

I was always under the impression that the person objecting would have to provide a valid reason to objecting, like groom/bride is still legally married, they were coerced into it, etc. Not just because they don't like the person marrying their family. That being said, find out if you can omit it. I don't think I've been to a single wedding where that line was there.

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Centuries ago, that might have been true, that you could object for legal reasons. But today, the legalities of a couple's marriage are worked out before the wedding, so there is no legal basis for objecting at one.

I had something similar, and we left out that part of the ceremony. Then if they stand up and object, they will simply look foolish. If they refuse to sit back down the Minister could ask them to be seated or have an usher escort them out. You really don't need this drama right now!! I'll keep you in my prayers. Please be happy. Life is so short.

P.S. I was married before. No conflict for my wedding this year. Thank God!❤