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Liz
Devoted June 2021

Workplace Invites

Liz, on August 8, 2019 at 7:48 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21
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Need advise! I have 6 staff I supervise at work. 4 of those 6 I am very close with, even know their families. The other 2 are a new hire and the other I only communicate with minimumly at work. Do I invite just the 4. I feel bad leaving 2 out , except if I did invite they would probably wonder why I invited them.. I think??

21 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on August 9, 2019 at 9:58 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't invite them, but I would also have a chat with the 4 that you are inviting and request that they aren't super chatty about the wedding at work.

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  • Arielle
    Expert August 2020
    Arielle ·
    • Flag

    I would only invite the 4 you are close with. I am only inviting 5 people from my team at work. No one seems to be like "hey where's my invite".

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Since you supervise them, I would invite them all. I get that it's your wedding and that you want to be surrounded by the people closest to you, but when you're talking about people you manage I think it's important to avoid playing favorites. If you're talking about coworkers, the situation is a little different. If they are truly baffled by the invitation, they can always just RSVP no.

    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Victoria ·
    • Flag

    I have the same issue! I have 15 people in my office. I have worked with many of them for a long time. However, there are a couple that are brand new that I barely speak to. I'm sending my save the dates/invites to their homes and would hope they don't brag about it at work to other people. I say don't invite anyone you don't want to. Don't feel obligated or anything, people understand.

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  • Emily
    Dedicated June 2021
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    You don’t have to invite them or feel bad. We got a new manager at our store and he came in saying how he was getting married in a month. He apologized that he was unable to invite us his to his wedding because it was too late to add on to the guest list. None of us minded or got our feelings hurt, we didn’t know him well enough to care that we weren’t invited. We just wished him well.
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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I'd invite them all just because 4/6 is already most of them and 6 isn't a lot anyway. But if you're tight on space then def just invite the ones you're closest to.
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    VIP February 2020
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    I don't think it's bad to only invite 4 if you don't really know the other 2 that well. There's 8 other people in my department, and I'm only inviting 4 of them. I'm not close with my supervisor, director, or other 2 coworkers, and I needed to cut down the guest list so they got cut.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    Don't send anyone you work with save the dates, and don't make the "who to invite" decision until right before invites go out. Work environments change very quickly.

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  • K
    Expert February 2020
    Kristina ·
    • Flag

    I am in the same boat. But I have decided to only invite the coworkers I am close to, that talk to me outside of work. So out of 13 on my team I am only inviting 3 of them and then 2 more are actually my bridesmaids, so a total of 5.

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  • Future Mrs. Danger
    Expert November 2019
    Future Mrs. Danger ·
    • Flag
    Same here. I supervise 11 people. I have invited 2 and am planning on inviting one more, if I have room. However my team is spread out across the US and they don't know each other very well.
    Since it sounds like your team is all in one office, can you take out the new hires to lunch and explain that your guest list has been in place since before they joined the team, but that at no means this reflects on the relationship you would like to build with them (or something to that effect)?


    • Reply
  • Kellie Martinez
    Super October 2019
    Kellie Martinez ·
    • Flag

    Agree with caytlyn. I only have group convos about the wedding when my coworkers bring it up and it is my little group that is invited. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Liz
    Devoted June 2021
    Liz ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I had the same thought....
    • Reply
  • shannon.sv
    Devoted April 2021
    shannon.sv ·
    • Flag

    My FH and I both chose the people at work that we hang out with outside of work and that's who we invited. I mean, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings....but it's our wedding and we are only inviting the people we actually want there.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Super September 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I'm a manager and if I were in your situation I would invite them all. I even have an assistant who I'm closer with, but I'm a firm believer in no special treatment.

    I've been invited to weddings of work friends without a guest and I think that's even a good middle ground. We all just went together and were seated together.
    • Reply
  • Liz
    Devoted June 2021
    Liz ·
    • Flag
    Thanks Jen, I was thinking the same thing... they can always say no thank you and I wouldn’t be at all offended.
    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag

    There's nothing wrong inviting the four you're closest to!

    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree . Saves can cause problems. Obviously long distance travel plans are not an issue, so send any work invitations only at the usual invitation time, 8 weeks out .
    Most people only invite those they regularly socialize with outside of work . Especially as you are the boss, and gifts are expected, it is very awkward if they were not already social friends. People seen just at work, let them do a coffee and dessert work shower there. No invitation from the boss .

    • Reply
  • Mary
    Expert July 2019
    Mary ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agreed! I invited only my team members who I socialize with outside of work. We kept discussions about the wedding to a minimum around others. Our company went through a huge "restructuring" a few months before the wedding, so I'm glad I didn't invite anyone else out of a sense of obligation.
    • Reply
  • D
    Super September 2019
    Dana ·
    • Flag
    I invited only the co-workers I am close with. I had to draw the line somewhere
    • Reply
  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
    • Flag

    Invite the people who you would hang out with outside of work. If you don't see them outside of work then don't invite them.

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