Will i regret not holding a fancy ceremony?

It's up to you. I've met countless brides who say opposite

I've met countless brides who told me "if I could do it all over again, I would have used that 20k/30k on a house down payment, investments or student loan debt and just gone to the courthouse."

This is something only you can answer. I know for me, I would regret not having a full size wedding

This is 100% a personal feelings thing. Some people would be completely content just going to a courthouse and signing a piece of paper, while others’ dream weddings are an over the top 300+ guest affair. I think it’s important for you to stop and think about this and be completely honest with yourself (ie, Don’t try to talk to yourself into/out of anything because it’s “logical”, or “more convenient”, etc.) Figure out what is truly in your heart. You can never redo marrying your fiancé, so it’s important to stay true to yourself and what you really want for your special day, so that you don’t forever look back on it with regret.

Having had one wedding without family, courthouse and a few friends, I wanted my family this time, and so did hubby when we started. But each family had full weddings for a couple of siblings and a couple of close cousins, earlier in the summer or fall. If we started planning after those weddings, we might have thought about whether we wanted a 4th or 5th outing with each and every aunt and uncle. We did a formal one, and over a long weekend when many stayed the whole weekend. And so had a bigger outing the next day, adding over 160 15 month to 15 year olds, to the adults at the day before's wedding. All kiddie oriented, everyone up to about 34 was playing.
But if hubby's family, his mom had not said, to me, , please, have the whole family, I would have been as happy with parents and elderly family, on both sides.
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Sometimes I wonder, if the people who thrive on planning every little thing for a big bash, just see this as the only time they will ever entertain a group larger than 30. If you scheduled ( or had just done) a family reunion with every member of 1 or both your parents families gathered at your home or a big place where you were cohosts, and knew next year was a big gathering of FI family. Would you mind just immediate family and grands, and lots of friends, at a much smaller wedding?

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I agree with this here. While planning my wedding I would have liked to have more people but why? Because I wanted my day and everyone to see me on my day. That was purely selfish lol. I do not regret the three guests we had and then going out to dinner with just a couple of friends. For me the courthouse was a no because I wanted to feel bridal and like I had a ceremony but I am glad at the money I saved and the less stress. As Chrysta said for some people the many people is a necessity. Look within yourself for that answer.

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I think I am happy with having the ceremony being just immediate family and then a couple years from now throwing just a large party for everyone. I'm not a detailed in depth planner. I just want to get married, have my family there and then celebrate later when the virus is not a thing.

View Quoted Comment For me, personally, it wouldn’t matter if we had a family reunion the weekend before my wedding, or a huge bash with all my friends... I would still want to be surrounded by all our loved ones when we get married. I couldn’t fathom viewing my wedding as the same (or even in the same realm) as planning a family reunion or a dinner party, etc. It is a joining in love of two people & two lives. It is one of the most special and unique experiences of your life. You only get to marry your partner once, where you can have a family reunion, dinner party, gala, etc. every day of the year if you wanted. I think it’s only natural to have a higher level of planning for such an important, once in a lifetime event.

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Trust yourself to know what you want (and don't want). If you and your future spouse both feel you would be happy with a small ceremony then go for it! Don't let social media or anything else try to convince you that the only way to happiness is a huge wedding.

We initially planned for a big wedding (100 people) because of covid we had 13 plus ourselves. The 13 consisted of hubby's fam my fam and our couple closest friends. Much like you, getting married is what matter most and capturing our day for our memories. Given the circumstances we are (awkwardly stated) beyond grateful that Covid changed everything. Everything was so intimate literally all of our guest/family were crying happy tears all day because everyone there really cared and it wasn't just "someone in the family's wedding to attend."

if you feel the backyard wedding is enough i am sure it is. If you want all the embellishments at your backyard wedding, I say do it. It's not the guest count that matters but who you get to spend your favorite day with.

Everyone has their own vision. Only you and your fiance can answer that

It depends on you. If you haven't already planned or had your heart set on a bigger event, I think you'll be able to focus on just marrying your love and it won't matter so much that it isn't a huge party with a lot of guests.

I personally would have been fine with a backyard wedding and that's actually what I would have wanted to start but we don't know anyone with an appropriate backyard. So we booked a venue and went the more traditional route, and planned out our entire 80 guest wedding before Covid came along and ruined it all. Now I wish we had just done a destination elopement and gotten married right away instead of spending 10 months planning a "big" wedding that never happened.

Totally personal decision but I will offer up this: My first wedding was 120 or so people, second was 50 and if I could do it again I would have parents, sibs and SO's only. Waaaaay less stress. No one badgering me about bringing extra people, etc. You are just as married either way!

Best wishes!!! xoxox

I was so upset having to from 250 to 30. I thought it would ruin our wedding. I wouldn’t listen to others who said they had small weddings and that it was an incredible experience. I’m so happy to say it I was very wrong and it was so amazing and special to just have family and our bridal party. You look back on it and those are the people who will be in your life always!!

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That's the best idea for your case, but if you plan to be wed again on a bigger wedding after pandemic, then that's great too!