Why is an escort for the bride frowned on?

It's literally called giving the bride away. A common script for the officiant is to ask, "Who gives this woman to be married?" Many people omit that line, but that's where it comes from

I think it is a cultural thing. In Judaism, both the bride and groom are escorted by both parents. It is not considered "giving the bride away." Instead, it is viewed as the parents escorting their child to the next phase of their life. The chuppah represents the home the couple is going to build, so the parents are walking their children towards their new home.

I've been to many weddings where the bride walks in alone and no one has ever frozen and had to be escorted by a guest.

View Quoted Comment This has been my experience as well. I've never seen a bride freeze up because she was walking alone.

It's unfortunate that it's frowned upon by some people. I agree with Hannah as well though, I think that it's a cultural thing.

I had my officiant take out that whole line since my Dad passed away in 2011. I knew that I would end up crying - and not for a good reason if I heard that. In terms of who walked me down the aisle, I asked my FIL and my Godfather to walk me down the aisle. I didn't want to walk down alone. I considered the walk down the aisle another way of uniting our two families (my husband also walked down with both my mother and his mother) so to speak. Everyone who attended our wedding thought it was a nice touch.

I had my dad walk me down the aisle, not because he "gave me away" (and that line was not in our civil ceremony), but because we are very close, he loves DH, and they are the two most important men in my life. (The third was my bridesman.)

Having my dad escort me was far more about having our wedding include people we love, than anything else. (FIL did a reading.)

I'm having my dad escort me. I want him to be a part of the wedding. And I'm his only girl. He is very excited to be a part of the day. Plus my dad and I obviously know that I'm not his property he is "giving away".


I guess some women put way to much thought into. Like you can still make your dad a special part of the day by walking you down the aisle

Sorry accidentally hit reply before I was done.


I guess some women put way too much thought into the father walking her down the aisle. And turn what to me is honoring my dad by having him escort me down the aisle, into a negative because of the old time tradition of it. You can still make your dad a special part of your day by having him walk you down the aisle and take our the wording who gives this bride away, if it bothers you that much. Idk like I said I think some read to much into things like that.

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I agree with this. I don't believe I'll keep the wording about him giving me away in our ceremony, but it's still important to me for my dad to walk me down the aisle. I don't see it as a tradition of him "giving" me to my husband - we've been together for 5 years and have lived together for nearly all of that... I'm already his lol. To me it's similar to why I made it a point that I still wanted my fiancé to talk to my parents (and my grandma) before he proposed. He didn't actually ask them if he could marry me, but he made a point to stop by their house before our trip and gave them a head's up that he was planning to propose while we were gone. These people are all important to me and I want them to be included in a special way. The two of us are adults who ultimately make the decisions for our relationship, but that doesn't mean we can't give the people we love some special recognition.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this. I also wanted my fiance to talk to my parents about marriage with me. I'm able to look past old school meaning that nobody even recognizes anymore to honor and make the people I love feel special.


It's not like when people see your dad walking you down the aisle they have the thought of she is being given away and becoming someone else's property. That is such outdated and old school thinking. People nowadays see it as a way of honoring your dad. And most people think when they see the bride walking by herself that she must have issues with her dad and that's why she isn't honoring him with the special role.

I think there's a lot of meaning behind it for specific cultures. But for me, I'm having both my father and my teenage son escort me down the aisle. We're omitting the line about giving the bride away.

We took out any reference in our ceremony to "giving" me away. I want my dad to walk with me because that is the most important walk I'm going to make. Having my dad there is more symbolic--to support and guide me the way he always has in my life. My fiancé called my parents before he proposed, but it wasn't to ask permission. It was basically because he was telling anyone that would listen, and figured my parent's should know, too.

We're taking out any mentions of 'giving me away', and I'm walking myself.

Personally, I just prefer the bride walking alone lol. For us, it's about our union and everything we've been through together. The way I see it is that I'm the one that said yes to him, our marriage is about us, and I'm my own person that doesn't need to be 'given away' or escorted. It's kind of an independence thing.

"More often than not, brides who choose to walk down the aisle alone because they specifically don’t agree with “being given away” don’t anticipate or realize until the moment arrives that the nerves hit them like a truck. The bride will freeze..."

This is such an odd assertion to me. As is the idea that no officiant asks who is giving the bride away outside the movies. I have been to a lot of weddings and seen plenty of brides choose to walk by themselves (and whatever reason they choose to walk alone is fine) without freezing up, AND seen plenty of brides escorted by a father figure who is asked by the officiant, "Who gives this bride?"

I think it's always good to remember that there are all kinds of traditions and customs, old and new, and weddings are different everywhere.

For my wedding, I got married in the courthouse so there was no aisle or need for an escort of any kind (the giving away kind or the "freezing prevention" kind). If I had gotten married somewhere with an aisle, I probably would have had a brother walk with me as I had two dads and would not have chosen between them. I would never have consented to my officiant asking, "Who gives this bride" in any scenario.

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Omg I never knew this, that's beautiful

View Quoted Comment Exactly what Hannah said! We had a Jewish ceremony and both of my parents walked me down the aisle (and husband’s parents walked him down the aisle) for this very reason.

I don’t think I’ve run across a thread that mentioned an escort for the bride that wasn’t apart of the ceremony for a special reason but I don’t see anything wrong with it if that’s what you prefer.


My son is walking me instead of my deadbeat father who only cares that he has an only daughter for appearances.

I suppose the automatic connection is because usually the escort is a close family member, at least in the US. I honestly never heard it any other way outside the bride walking by herself which is also fine.

My fiancé and I will each be escorted down the aisle by both of our parents. They mean a lot to us and we wanted to include them in our special day. We know we are lucky to each have both of our parents alive and able to join us, clearly we know no one is "property" or being given away.