Why do mothers want to invite people you've never met to your wedding???

My mom did that too. 2 guests I understand, her best friend growing up and the lady who took care of me while mom worked. But the reast are all coworkers and her boss and I've never met them.

Mom is covering the DJ for us so FH says to think of it as in a way she sort of paid for her guests, so I just brush it off at this point. I have so much drama going on with family right now, I'm letting this invite issue slide.

Perhaps obnoxious sister I'm not close to at all will bail and one of Mom's coworkers can have that seat at the table. (ooh did I say that out loud? )

Its a mom thing. My mom is doing the same thing but she is paying for the photog and dj so its worth it.

My mother is doing the same thing... I think she's just proud and wants to show off a little. I'm okay with it since I want her to also enjoy herself.

First question is....who is paying for your wedding? If your parents are, they can invite people. ;-)

I have invited a few people that my daughter has never met, but they are people that I want to have there. They all know of the wedding, via my chatting about it. They are excited about it and want to be there to share the day with her family. I'm paying for the wedding, therefore...LOL!

When I was growing up, the only time many would see family were at weddings and funerals so it was only natural for the parents to invite relatives the bride and groom may only know from talk and pictures depending on when the last wedding or funeral was.

Well my parents have 7 invitations going out to people I have never met as well but they are paying for 25% of the wedding so eeehhh guess its no biggie...

My mom actually didn't add anyone to the list that I didn't have there already...FMIL is another story. She wanted us to invite about 10 people that FH has never even met, or people she hasn't talked to in a good 5 or 6 years. It was really making me mad because I didn't invite HALF of my own family just to stay under budget and then she's wanting to add all these people and doesn't care that half of my family can't even be there. She's not even offering to pay for anything. Not that I even wanted her to but if she was going to want to invite so many people, she should be paying for something.

As a mother of a bride from 2 years ago, I understand this question from not only a MOB view but a planner view.

Mother of the bride view: If you are my only daughter,I'm proud of my child and want my close friends who may have known you as a child and have kept up with your life. While it is your wedding, keep in mind that it doesn't mean your parents can't invite people. Granted they should be respectful of your budget and ask if there is room for at least 5 guests. As the planner - this is always sticky, create the invite list and ensure that you allow each set of parents to invite 5 people (assume that means 10 people from each side). Your parents are thrilled that you are having your first party as a couple (which is what your wedding and reception is)and want to share the celebration with friends as well. Indulge your parents - one day you will likely do the same thing, no matter how much you are shaking your head no right now. Trust me - we all become our parents! Good luck

I sympathize with not having room for a lot of people you don't know... but a wedding reception IS a social gathering.

This is actually an argument AGAINST people wanting to bring random dates, since you don't get to bring people to someone else's party without permission, and one major function of social gatherings is to introduce single people to each other. But anyway, there's a difference between limiting the number of guests you 100% don't know and trying to claim that a wedding isn't a party.

I HATED WHEN MY MOTHER DID THIS WITH OUR NOVEMBER WEDDING. Some of these people were cousins, co workers etc. of hers that i have never met etc etc. I would say just talk to her. My mom paid for my wedding dress too but she kept telling me that this was the proper thing to do.

I dont know how to handle it because I canceled our november wedding and pushed everything up to May 27th and now she has no control over the guest list.

I would talk to you mom and tell her there is only a certain amount of people you cna afford/ allow into the ceremony/reception site.

Buying the dress doesn't entitle her to add to your guest list - not in my book. i totally get being a proud mama but she will get a photo album she can show off til the pages fall apart. i asked my mom to send me her siblings' addresses. she added a couple of extra addresses on there that i didn't ask for. i simply did not send them an invitation.

Black Bag is correct on both counts.

If you mom is paying, its really her party (even though its in your honor), she is the hostess & she can invite who she will.

BUT if you asked nicely, maybe she let you have a bit more input?

A social gathering serves the purpose that whoever is planning said gathering determines. If the goal is to introduce single people then you have a mixer and the more the merrier. But I assure you my wedding is not intended to be an opportunity for single people to meet somebody. Now if that just so happens then so be it. But the INTENDED purpose is for my hubby and I to celebrate the beginning of our new life together with our family and friends. Now I understand that I won't know 100% of the people b/c I haven't met all of his guests and he hasn't met all of mine but at least one of us should know them if they are receiving an invitation.

This is the part that makes me absolutely detest weddings. My dad is paying for a GOOD portion of my wedding and has not imposed anyone or any idea on me whatsoever. At the point where the wedding stops being about me and my intended I don't want to play anymore. I will take my jump rope and go home.

My FMIL is adding people my FH has never met and at this point is pushing us over our limit. While I understand they are paying for half of the wedding so it's their right. If they continue to add we are going to have to change the location of the reception which neither FH or I want. We are fairly shy people so we wanted the smaller more intimate setting.

I completely sympathize Ditmara! hope you get it worked out.

Yeah I am more annoyed with my FMIL asking and making a big deal about her friends who I have met maybe once and I can't stand her best friend from the time I met her. We invited them but only her best friends b/c we are havng a small wedding and I had to cut some people out too. And I didn't have them invited to the shower b/c thats all about me!

My parents aren't paying at all, but have offered. My mom and dad both have people they would like to invite (people I knew when I was younger but haven't seen in YEARS) but they wouldn't ask me if they could. They haven't. But it came up cuz my Grandma had people she wanted to invite.

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Also, even if they were paying, it's my wedding and I want to enjoy it. I would simply be UNCOMFORTABLE with strangers there! I want to make it a great day for everyone in my family, but allowing them (whether it be moms inviting co-workers or cousins who bring random dates) to bring people I DON'T know is crossing the line for me. That goes from the realm of making my wedding enjoyable for them to making my wedding uncomfortable for me. If you can't enjoy my wedding without these people, then you probably shouldn't come at all

I think the thing about weddings, at least from my perspective, is that it's NOT just about you and your intended. Maybe the vows are, but remember that phrase "it takes a village to raise a child"? You're the child. Your mom has a village. You might not have met these people, but I guarantee you that she wouldn't be inviting them if they didn't somehow affect your upbringing. I actually offered to let my mom invite extras, because I know for fact that I've caused more than a few of her gray hairs over the years, and there are some folks out there who know more about me and my delinquencies than I will ever know about them. They have been there for my mom in ways that I can't even imagine, and they deserve to be there for the happy times as well as the bad. Your mom is happy for you and proud of you - this is a big day for her too (especially if you're her first or only). Keep in mind all that she's done, and all the people who pulled the curtains for her.

If it's MY wedding then it IS about me and my intended. Mom can have a cookout and invite her village.

I love you, ladylee!