Why do most men not want much do with planning?

FH has been married before and complained that he had no input in anything, even the grooms cake. So planning ours, I have been open to input (within reason...). He got upset because he did not feel like I was including him even after dragging him to two wedding expos. So, after our last "I want to have some input and you never like my ideas" rant (I'm sorry, I am not going to allow the DJ to play "ride that donkey" (he was joking)) I drug him to a two hour appointment to look at invitations. After that, he says he has put in enough input and my mom should just go with me from now on. He wants to feel include in planning the day, but when it comes to deciding on shade of pink, he is ok leaving the planning up to me.

Men do care, but a majority of men care about the big picture.

Ask not what day to have the wedding, but in what season (i.e. spring, summer, fall, winter).

Ask not about what venue, but if he likes the oudoors or indoors, church or club, etc.

Don't ask "should we invite x, y, z." Instead ask how many people is too many/too few, and then follow up with who is really important to you.

Ask what his favorite 3 colors are, and what 3 colors he hates.

Does he care if you are traditional (i.e. white dress & veil), or alternative (i.e. colored dress, no veil).

He'll help where he feels his input is important, and with little tasks he "can't screw up." A few days before the wedding, Cody and my dad took it to tying all of the ribbins to the bubbles. It was so sweet. Those are the moments you appreciate looking back.

Be careful what you wish for...if he gets more involved he might have opinions that clash with what you want. I don't mind that I pretty much do all the planning cuz now I get everything the way I want it, haha. I usually will narrow down the choices to just a few and then just get his input before making the final decision. It works for us. Yes it is more work for me but I don't mind so much because the wedding planning is more fun for me than it is for him.

Thanks ladies. I am so happy to hear your stories as well!

Earlier I was looking at a bridal magazine, he was sitting next to me..

and I almost did a double take when he started pointing out ideas in the magazine he liked. I couldn't help but to smile a little. I think he's coming around. We decided he can also plan what car he wants to transport us from the church to the venue and ect as well him planning the honeymoon(: he said, "that's already done" about the car.(he's in diesel/auto technician school and has always been crazy into cars, so I'm sure it will be a nice one..hopefully not too expensive lol.) Anyways I think he is slowly getting more excited about it. Which is good. @Lindsay, thank you!! I hope it turns out well. lol. & @Serina I agree with you, I don't want any idea clashing.

FH words "cause it's all centered around girly s-word"

Guys can be creative and would have ideas but some might not be traditional. For example: nerf gun fight instead of rice.

He's a hot mess. I'm not listening. LOL.

My FH is good, he tries to act interested when I am excited about something that is coming along with the planning, but I know he really couldn't care less. It's not that he isn't excited for the wedding, he is very excited for it, but every detail that goes into it just doesn't bother him. He knows I have it taken care of. He did make sure he knew when the food tasting was though!!

Mine is very hands on. Some of his idea's are a little out there and I have to bring him back to planet earth the latest he wanted a 130 cake topper is he nuts? haha but he is pretty much hands on to the point that he wants to go pick up BM's dresses. I don't think it will actually happen I think he will walk into the store and be overwhelmed and walk out! lol

@Combay, how funny. That sounds like what my FH is probably thinking.

@Sam, at least he acts interested and that's good he's excited, that's how I feel about mine, I feel he's excited but just interested much in planning it.

@Soon2beMrs.K, how funny.. he probably will, lots of scary stuff going on in a bridal store!! lol.

It seems like everyone is going through the same thing I am with my FH. Yay, I'm not alone. Haha.

My FH and I have talked about this... wedding planning is stressful, so I can't blame them for not wanting to do it - I don't want to do it. I think that they think that we want to do it and like to do it (which is true for some), so they figure they don't have to since you will.

@busybride very true, (:

That's why I am giving him easy tasks. & whatever else he wants to put in on I welcome it. But if he doesn't, I'll get over it and be okay with it,

My FH has been AMAZING! he wants to be apart of EVERYTHING. I had to beg him to do our 2nd registry online, he loved going to the stores lol he always wants to see everything I find, and be apart of almost ever decision. It's so cute ppl laugh when I say he loves the planning but I think he really does....or he's pretending wayyyyy too good lol

I wish FH was a little less into the planning. He wants to have a say in every little thing that happens with the wedding. He even wanted to see my dress to make sure it was right for the wedding feel and look. UGH... Even bridesmaid dresses that I picked out yesterday he said he didnt like them he had a different idea in mind. Its driving me crazy!

I didn't see it any differently than how if I ask him what he wants for dinner I'm more likely to get an actual answer than if I asked him if I should wear my nude pumps with my taupe dress or red heels instead.

That is an ongoing struggle for me too. Good luck!!

@The Future Mrs. Bryce. How cool is that!(: I can't wait until the time comes to register for stores. I bet that's so much fun to walk around and think of things you need.

@Mrs. Jones 2013, That does sound a little over the top. Good thing he helps but I would be a little aggrivated myself! @Pan, That's good. (: @Mandy M. Glad I'm not the only one. But like I said, I think he's slowly coming around.

I get really annoyed and it makes me sad and mad that my FH at first didn't want to have an actual wedding. And at times I tell him to go look at things with me for the wedding so we could get an idea of how much we would spend and he just sounds so bored if it. And it hurts my feelings because I feel like I would have liked him being a part of the decisions and making all of this fun with him there with me and he just at times doesn't even want to go with me. And Idk what to think of that

OK ladies so here is the reason men do not involve themselves in the planning with the exception of booze and suits for the groomsmen. Btw, soy boys and male feminist need not respond, a forced response from your girl is not needed and i don’t care. This is to help women lokkknh to get married. If your t-count is below 500, don’t respond. Men don’t typically want marriage bc it is a gamble and their odds are small. We get married out of necessity. We know that we will not be able to access most women as we get older, if we could remain young we would and if that was possible, less would get married. Also, kids are a factor. We don’t want a baby momma bc we want our kid to be healthy by having both parents married. There’s a reason men don’t typically marry a single mother, I digress. Men know that whatever idea comes to them will never be taken seriously by the woman. If a man wants Indian for a main course And she wants Italian guess what you going to have a Italian, you want a wedding set up a certain way? well not according to her she’s going to have the set up done the way she would like. Women can say we want the guy to pitch in, you don’t, but you say you do. Guy wants to spend $5k on a wedding, not her plan, it’s gomma be double that. Man wants a courthouse wedding bc who cares where the promise to stay together takes place, nope, she will shoot that down. Ladies, want a man who helps plan outside of the strip club and invests 100% of himself in the planning, marry a moderate to extremely flamboyant man, the kind you have to protect with life and limb.

View Quoted Comment I get you may be mad, but look at it from his POV. You’re asking a guy to give his whole life up and he may not be ready for it. I love my girl but it’s nauseating to prep for this mess. Woman plan this their whole life, men plan for none of it.