FutureMrs.R
Expert November 2017

Why are you having a intimate wedding?

FutureMrs.R, on April 21, 2016 at 11:06 PM Posted in Planning 0 77
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Why are you having a intimate wedding ( 75 people or less)? What is your guest count? What type of venue did you or do you plan to choose to accomodate your wedding?

For me I wanted to have a intimate wedding because I wanted to be able to have time to spend with FH and loved ones, feel like it's more personal, and yes it helps a lot on the budget. My guest count is 65 max but I am considering to go down to 30. I don't have a venue yet but the one I have had my eyes on is a Italy inspired restaurant where I can do ceremony and reception.

77 Comments

  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    We had a dozen people for our wedding. It was in a synagogue, followed by a luncheon in a restaurant.

    At the time, none of our local jurisdictions had same-sex marriage, so we had to get married in Massachusetts. We couldn't have a Friday night or Saturday wedding, because it was a Jewish wedding. In order to have a Sunday wedding, we'd have had to arrive several days early to get both the marriage license and a court waiver of the normal three-day waiting period. So we ended up having the wedding on a Tuesday. Between the distances and the weekday wedding, we decided to have only immediate family and a few close friends at the wedding, and then have an at-home reception a few days later.

    But even the at-home reception was only about 60 people. I've never really understood the point of having hundreds of people at your wedding. You just end up having people taking days out of their lives to fly in from all over, and then you barely get to talk to them, anyway.

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  • FutureMrsW
    Expert December 2016
    FutureMrsW ·
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    We are having a DW and our guest list will be 30 max (20-25 will likely come). We were going to have a big winter wonderland wedding a couple years ago, back home in Montana. We had a couple parents pass, some pretty significant life changes come up and ended up moving to Oregon. We have family and friends in several states, so we decided it was a better idea to invite our closest family and friends for a weekend away. It is definitely less than a traditional ceremony and reception with a large guest count!

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  • Mrs. CK
    VIP November 2015
    Mrs. CK ·
    • Flag

    I had 15 guests. I had anxiety and reallllly did not want to be in front of a bunch of people. I had a strong feeling I'd pass out. We got married in a hotel suite at a resort/casino, and we had a restaurant in the resort cater. It was amazing, I got to spend so much time with loved ones. We had our parents, grandparents and siblings (and one uncle, but he lives with us so of course he came). I highly recommend it. Plus 15 people is way cheaper than 150 haha.

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  • Kelli
    Master September 2015
    Kelli ·
    • Flag

    We had 48 total guests. It was wonderful looking out from our sweetheart table and being able to see all our guests at 6 tables. We personally knew everyone in the room which was important to us.

    Having a smaller wedding also opens up your choices for venues. Ours was in a 1930s mansion with a beautiful outdoor area for the wedding and multiple indoor rooms for our use.

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  • Neisy
    Dedicated March 2017
    Neisy ·
    • Flag

    We're having 70 people max. I'm hoping to stay around 60. We wanted to be able to have a good time with the people who meant the most to us and make sure that they had a great time. With a small group, we're able to do a lot more for them whereas we wouldn't be able to with a larger group. We're having the ceremony and reception at a restaurant and ballroom that has a small space they use for parties under 100 people. We'll have strictly family and close friends. And the price is very doable.

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  • DaisyHeadMayzie
    Super May 2017
    DaisyHeadMayzie ·
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    We are inviting 60, but expecting less because most will have to travel. We really want to enjoy being WITH, not just around the people we love most. My dad has this rule of 50 for parties that we tried to stick to: (generalization) at any given party there is only enough time & momentum to talk to 50- 50 people, 50 couples or 50 families. We tried to stick as close to 50 people as we felt we could. Both of us are easily overwhelmed in crowds and loud spaces. Our ceremony and reception will be outside at a rural B&B near my hometown. The B&B has enough housing for our immediate family as well as the BP (more than half of the guest list). The hotel is a 5 minute drive for other OOT guests. We are hoping it will be just the word you used, intimate.

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  • Jenny
    VIP December 2016
    Jenny ·
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    This is my second marriage and my FH'S third, and while we live in Oregon, my family is all in Washington and his is in California. A big wedding just isn't our style. We're inviting about 65, but are planning for 50 and expect about 35. It'll be perfect.

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  • Yourlilfig
    VIP August 2016
    Yourlilfig ·
    • Flag

    We are at 75. It was 65, but somehow 10 more names appeared haha. Part of our decision was budget and the other part was wanting to share such a special day with people we actually know. It's such a big deal that we're actually getting married. I never thought I would want to and FH never wanted to get married again, his first marriage was a complete disaster. So this is a really big deal and it seems only fitting to keep it small and intimate. Smiley smile

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  • Jen
    Devoted February 2017
    Jen ·
    • Flag

    We want to spend the money we would have spent on a wedding on a house, and we want only the people we are very closest to there!

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  • Natalie
    Master September 2016
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    Sometimes I wish I would have chosen a more intimate wedding, but i already sent save the dates out, so guess that's out the window lol. I think your wedding will be lovely.

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  • Jacky
    Master June 2017
    Jacky ·
    • Flag

    We're doing a small intimate wedding with close family and friends because we don't want to have to walk around the tables talking to each person. My sister did this and never really got a chance to party and enjoy herself. To me, it's too formal, and we just want to fun. We are introverts, but we're fun introverts that like to party and don't really like formalities. I'm also not into halls or country clubs, so we are having the reception at a local well known brewery in the banquet room, and it's just what I want as it has rustic brick walls and wooden floors. Also we did it for the cost. It'll cost us not even $5,000 for the whole wedding. I think it's ridiculous to spend thousands to feed other people for one night.

    The guest list is about 50, but invitations haven't gone out yet.

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  • Leanne
    VIP April 2017
    Leanne ·
    • Flag

    We have a list of 40 and all will come. It is FH's 2nd wedding and my first. We don't have a large circle of friends. I never wanted the big wedding either so this works. My dad has a friend who is a United minister who will perform the ceremony at the restaurant where we'll host the recptionz

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  • BicycleBuiltForTwo
    Master September 2016
    BicycleBuiltForTwo ·
    • Flag

    We are having 30 people at our ceremony - parents and siblings and a couple of close friends we have known our whole lives. FH and I wanted to elope, because we wanted the moment to be between just the two of us. Our moms were both upset when we shared our plans, so they agreed to go along with the ceremony we had planned (at an overlook at the end of a 1-mile hike) if we let them come. We're having a large reception later, since we do want to celebrate with our family and friends.

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  • MrsSchaub2017
    Expert July 2017
    MrsSchaub2017 ·
    • Flag

    At first we wanted the "big" wedding inviting all family and friends having the big cake, DJ, decorating everything but we just recently decided why spend all that money? All we care about is marrying each other and spending the rest of our lives together. So we have decided on a small simple beach wedding with parents and siblings and other close relatives. We want to start a family right away so we decided that's what we want to save for and our own house (we rent now). I would love to have a big wedding but we decided to be more realistic.

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  • Ashley
    Expert September 2017
    Ashley ·
    • Flag

    Our max is 100 but we're expecting about 60. We simply just don't want any more there because we want to share our day with the people that mean the most to us.

    We're having it in a barn type venue. It's so rustic and beautiful. It goes great with our personalities and will accommodate our wedding guests perfectly.

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  • Kimi
    Master August 2016
    Kimi ·
    • Flag

    We have a total of 70 people on the guest list. If I had to guess, I'd say 5-7 won't travel/come. They are our closest family & friends & it is the number of people we could afford to host.

    Our venue is a hotel for both the ceremony & reception. It's pretty much all inclusive, which makes it very easy.

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  • OfficiallyMrsG
    Super September 2016
    OfficiallyMrsG ·
    • Flag

    We are inviting about 75, but we anticipate between 50-60 guests, as most of my family will have to travel a good 500+ miles. Our reasons echo what many have already said -saving money for a house, wanting a more intimate and laid back feeling, etc. I've always wanted a small wedding, this is probably twice what I had in mind actually but I should be lucky that my fiance has a small family and few close friends. Ours is also at a restaurant, it's in the country and the building is beautiful and historic. They have a garden in the back so weather permitting the ceremony will be there, with the reception inside.

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  • FutureMrs.R
    Expert November 2017
    FutureMrs.R ·
    • Flag

    @Elphaba I understand the PTSD as I have a few family members that have that. I commend you with going through and having the wedding that is a big step. I love your venue by the way!

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  • Punkin Beer
    Master October 2017
    Punkin Beer ·
    • Flag

    We're expecting somewhere from 50 to 65, 30 of which is my immediate family and my closest aunts and uncles and their families.

    We want an outdoor ceremony and a brewery for the venue.

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  • FutureMrs.R
    Expert November 2017
    FutureMrs.R ·
    • Flag

    @ Punkin Beer my guest list is the same with closest immediate family, aunts uncles and their family. If I invited everyone in my family then I would automatically have a 200 guest list. That's the last thing I want because I don't know all of my family that we'll like that.

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