Why are you having a intimate wedding?

We're keeping it at 50-55 max. I technically wanted just FH and me in attendance but compromised with 50 (which is very small for our circles).

We did it because I still want something intimate so I can truly speak to everyone + budget. Budget became the biggest reason after we finalized what our pp cost would be.

We want quality time with our closest people and good, well made food. My family is actually massive but all live back in Ireland. His family is small so that was easy. We are expecting 80 people total with a DW.

Our guest list currently is about 60-65, we have no venue and no date set lol. But we do want an outdoor wedding/reception with lots of twinkle lights, The Habit to cater and keep everything under 5K. I go through 'bouts where I'm all about "let's invite more and go bigger" and "let's just elope and save money and be done with it" haha

We are having around 60 people. Most of his family is in Colombia, so it will be mostly my side there and I don't have a lot of family that I still talk to. We are getting married in a church and then having our reception in an Italian inspired ballroom. I also feel the smaller the wedding, the more fun people have.

We're expecting about 35-40. This is a second wedding for both of us, so we only invited immediate family and very close friends.

We're having the ceremony at a small historic church and a catered lunch after, outside at the same location.

Because we live 3000 miles from family and most can't be bothered travelling

Our guest list is right about 30 people, all but 4 people are close family. We dont have a large friend circle and do not party. We will be having a 10:30am wedding followed by a plated lunch and cake. No dancing no bouquet tossing or anything to that effect. If we knew everyone wouldn't be crushed we would have eloped as well.

Elphaba, I love your venue so much.

Our max is 50, family (that includes church family,too) and a few friends.

It's no secret that we love our intimate weddings, and as an 'outsider' I can tell you that there is a completely different atmosphere at our small weddings. Not better, not worse, but different, and perfect for the couples that choose to go that route.

I can tell you what I hear from my couples;

less money

less stress

a small guest list organically limits itself

more time at the wedding to relax and spend quality time with guests

a distinct feeling of being pampered as a guest

a wider variety of interesting, unusual venues

better food

the chance to involve guests in ceremony elements that is impossible with a big group; spiral seating, ring warmings, etc.

I do get that some couples have always thought they would celebrate with EVERYONE in their immediate and extended families, but when you really look at the actual time you get to spend with them, that really is a faulty premise. And as the cost of weddings spirals into the stratosphere, (partly because pricing goes up, but partly because the media and the industry has convinced you that you need shit tons of things you really don't need), the beauty of a smaller, beautifully treated group of friends and family becomes more appealing than a multi thousand dollar party for one day.

If anyone is considering this route in NJ or NY, I have a wonderful list of venues that really cater to weddings under 100, (and there is a page on my pinterest board too). There are smooth venues with views of the Hudson River, farms, barns, a culinary school with a wine cellar, museums, galleries and a zoo. If you PM me or contact me through here, I'll be happy to send it to you..

Not to hijack the thread but we are real advocates.

We are at about 55 guests at the moment, and I think most, if not all will come. I'm inviting 2 sets of parents, 2 sisters, and close friends. I'm not inviting extended family (aunts, uncle cousins) cause I'm not close to them and there are too many. No step siblings either, for the same reason. FH doesn't talk to any of his family, so just close friends for him. Budget is definitely a factor, but to be honest, if we had more to spend, I'd probably go for a snazzier reception as opposed to more guests. I feel close to almost all our guests ( with the exception of some of FH's friends that I don't know as well) and that's how I like it

Primarily because I don't like people.

DH and I are both loners. The idea of a big wedding terrified him. We had 33 people total including us at a riverfront restaurant outside on the terrace. It was perfect and we got to enjoy time with every single guest. Intimate doesn't automatically mean low budget. We still spent a fair amount, but it was totally worth it to have a great meal in a beautiful location with those closest to us.

@Elphaba, I'm obsessed with your venue! Freaking stunning! I want to trade venues lol!

Mine is still great I'm having an intimate wedding of about 35 people (40 would be our absolute tops). We're having it in a small rustic building on a blueberry farm. It's not a barn, but more of an old carefully crafted building. The architecture is really impressive and has cobblestone floors and giant wooden beams. The land has a lot of different characteristics and places to take pictures.

We chose this style of wedding for a number reasons. My family is giant and there's no way we could invite everyone. His family is small and we didn't want to draw attention to the size difference or number of guests. So we set rules ie. aunts and uncles but no cousins for either of us to keep it closest to fair. We also don't socialize with a ton of people naturally and don't really like to party so we wanted something more intimate. Both of us are introverts and I think standing up in front of people we aren't very close with would cause more anxiety.

Bonus, it saves money and we can actually afford to host a really nice wedding for the people that are attending rather than trying to stretch every dollar really thin to accommodate a larger guest list. This way we can afford lots of food and drinks for our guests. We're also trying to buy a house this year so neither one of us wanted to pay for an elaborate wedding.

We are having 40-50 guests. The primary reason we're having a wedding is for my father to be there. We are inviting friends we've known for minimum 20+ years! Even though this is first marriage for both of us, we are in our 40s. We are doing things fairly traditional, ceremony, dinner, full open bar, dancing with DJ. Nearly every one is traveling to come so we wanted to more than a simple ceremony and brunch (which is what I initially wanted).

FH hardly has any family, my family has grown apart and as we've gotten older, friends have kind of "disappeared". I've moved around and it gets harder to make as friends as you get older. We're both quiet people so keeping it to people we are comfortable with and feel really care about us getting married. We are incorporating a ring warming that is very important to me. Each guest is part of our lives.

Wow. 75 feels like a lot. My list ballooned up from 15 to 29 I think and it feels n like to much.

We wanted a small event to keep costs down and because he isn't a party person. So under 30 it is!

@Celia, I would be interested in your list. I will pm you later

We are having 40, people max. We have both been married before and just want close family/friends. Neither of us sees or speaks to our parents, so we decided to keep it small. We rented a home overlooking lake winnipisaukee that will allow all the kids (we have 6) to stay with us....some of them live out of state so we didn't want to worry about them having to pay for hotels.

We are going to have around 30 people. We didn't want it to big

We had 98 guests. I wish I had done 30 or so. I'm on the spectrum, so all the pressure of people focusing on me and the overwhelming-ness of the party was tough for me. I loved my wedding (it was fun), but it was physically and emotionally exhausting for me. I was numb and overstimulated for a lot of it.

ETA: I know I didn't have a "small" wedding, but just throwing my two cents in that I think I would have had a "better" time if my wedding was smaller. In case people start questioning their decisions.

I just got married in an intimate wedding of 8 -- just our parents and siblings/their spouses -- and it was absolutely perfect. I had wanted to elope but this was a compromise so our parents could be there. We rented a house and had our families stay together for the weekend, picked a small beautiful outdoor chapel, and had a private chef team make us dinner after the ceremony. I wouldn't have done it any other way! This gave us time to celebrate with our families.