Who should people RSVP to?

I want fun mail so they're coming to me.

We're having a buffet - I still need to know who's coming to I can make sure there is seating for them.

We received our own RSVPs. I didn't trust anyone else to do it. It also doesn't really take any time, especially if you aren't doing meal selections.

P.S. for every wedding I've attended that had a buffet there were formal response cards.

Our RSVP's are coming to us

They are coming to us as well. one of the ladies had a post a few weeks back where the bride left some one in charge of the RSVP's and they were over 50 ppl who had rsvp but they didnt count them, and the lady never told the bride. then the lady didnt even show up herself to the wedding. unless u have someone you really trust I would hold on to them myself.

There's no way I would have put that in the hands of someone else. They were all sent to me directly.

We had a buffet, and still did them. I don't have time for people to be calling/texting/emailing/facebooking/writing/sending pigeons to let me know if they were coming or not. They can hardly handle a pre-stamped card, how can I expect them to be responsible any other way?? And gathering all those? Nope. Card it was, then called the stragglers. Not a least bit "waste of money"

I'm not including some traditions, like the Grand Entrance, because it doesn't suit my personality. Likewise, I don't want to do response cards because people can just as easily pick up the phone and call. I don't want to waste additional money (and in some cases it does cost additional money) and everyone keeps saying a wedding should be about what you want and what fits your personality. I'm just wondering if it is not proper to have guests RSVP to my mom and his mother.

It doesn't matter who they are sent to. I doubt there's any "etiquette" on that. Traditionally, the mother of the bride took care of it all, so I don't see you spreading it to your parents as much of a stretch.

Honestly, phone call RSVPs make me nervous because it's so easy to forget to write it down or lose track of who said what. If you really don't want to do response cards, maybe you can use the RSVP feature on WW?

But I don't think it's improper to have your guests RSVP to your moms... as long as you completely trust them to keep track of everything. No way I was outsourcing that to anybody!

RSVPs should go to the hosts. If you and your fiance are hosting your own wedding, people should RSVP to you.

Just because you're not having plated meal options doesn't mean you can't do response cards. We're probably going to forgo them, though, because they cost more money.

We received ours and it was a lot of fun opening them up :-)

Like Stephanie said...who is hosting/paying for it. I would have them RSVP to you and maybe instead of calling only you can utilize the Website feature. I am know many people will think of RSVPing at a time when calling may be inappropriate.

We have ours going to FHs address. Anything of importance for me never goes to my house... but instead my work. (Life situations made it that way). Im satisfied with them going to his house. He will let me know when he gets any.

I think having both your moms handle the responses can get a little confusing. Are you having a MOH? If so, why not have her handle the RSVP's if she has proven to be dependable. Of if you trust your mom OR his mom with doing it, then one of them could handle it. I just feel having more than one person handling could cause confusion.

ETA: Our RSVP cards will be coming to us and we'll keep track ourselves.

What about setting up an e-mail just for responding? It could be rhonda-Fh's ***********@*********.*** Lots of people are going this way to save money, paper, etc. We've had friends do it and it seemed to work out alright. If you do have any stragglers, a quick e-mail/phone call/Facebook message could work.

We're doing email and wedding website. Phone as a last resort. Trying to save some trees!

Technically i think they are supposed to go to the host, but logistically anymore there is no real ettiquette this. My parents are hosting my wedding but the response cards are coming to me.

however - unless BOTH your mom AND his mom are EXTREMELY organized, I can envision this getting very chaotic. And depending on the size of your wedding, I actually can't imagine this going very smoothly. In fact, if I was your friend, I would feel really awkward calling your mom, especially if I've never met her. Also, how are you going to distinguish who is supposed to call who? Like, are you sending different cards to both sides with "To RSVP Call MOB" to one set and "To RSVP Call MOG" to the other?

If you have a reasonable number of guests then it should be okay to split them between your mother and FMIL.

All of my RSVPs are going to my sister (MOH). She's more organized than me and likes to keep up with that stuff. I'm in the process of packing and moving and all kinds of other crazy things, and I don't check my mail enough for all of that.

If you want people to RSVP to your mom, I think that's fine. Like others have said, I've never heard of etiquette against it.

Also like the other those, I like getting the RSVP cards in the mail and I prefer to keep track of it myself. Plus, I hate talking on the phone so phone call RSVP's would drive me crazy.

ETA: I like Tiffany's idea of setting up a wedding email for people to reply to.

Thank you for all your suggestions!