Who pays?

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That is very true, I didn't even think about the fact that some places may be out of business based off what is currently happening.

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That is an awesome idea! Thank you!

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I do like approaching the idea of telling his mom that it is hard to put more of a finical burden. Thank you for your advice!

Now most people pay for their own wedding, and if family kicks in, that's just a bonus. You and FH need to be on the same page. It helped us to sit down and talk about what is really important to us as individuals and then as a couple. For me I'm wearing a dress, but not a traditional wear it once and store if for 30 years dress. My bouquet is a mix of fake and real. I've been shopping sales and dollar stores and found some great looking fakes! We are not paying for a venue, so that really cut costs. Just figure out what is important and go from there! We are going to have fun, but most of our money is going into our home.

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh! That sound like it has been a whirlwind! I will say we have just started planning so I’m sure it will get more intense. So far we made a list of guests in my hopes of changing his mind to a smaller number. We haven’t asked anyone else for their input (his mom or my dad) and we are 150 people. I am not huge on flowers or I guess having real flowers but maybe a few but have them fake. I saw a big trend of using wild flowers. We live in northern AZ and the wildflowers here are beautiful. It’s just so overwhelming. I am sending you good vibes on who makes the cut! Best of luck

View Quoted Comment I can understand that one completely. So far my dad has not volunteered to pay for anything or his mother. Granted I would not expect them to but it is hard when it seems everyone has their own demands. I will follow your advice of making sure it is about Us not everyone else. Good luck with your wedding planning!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for your kind words! I am hoping I am making her happy. I do like that idea of a destination wedding that sounds am amazing. I will definitely reach out to you!

View Quoted Comment I love the idea of a mix bouquet! Thank you for the tips on shopping for them in other places as well.

Hi, liz that situation was back in the day. but today and time both parties pay for the wedding. i am getting married in march 2021 and we are both paying for the wedding. we are in the 20th century. and that no longer applies. so go along with your fiancee and share the expense and both of you share the happiness, its both you guys wedding not just yours.

My mom and dad bought my dress, but we're paying for everything else ourselves. His father passed away years ago and his mom is disabled- we'll be paying for her outfit and all as well.

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Best wishes!!

Hello and congratulations!! My FH and I are getting married this May 23! Both of us are old school... well I am at least! Haha. But my father paid for my dress, my mother and father are separated and I don’t speak with my biological so I only have my fathers gf of 10 plus years. But my FH parents are contributing 3k to the wedding venue and that covers F & B and a little more. My father and step mother are also helping as much as they can. But I am personally trying to budget and cut costs as much as possible. I found out instead of real flowers I found BEAUTIFUL floral arrangements on ETSY for half of what I would have paid for real flowers. Now that’s bouquets, corsages for the moms, boutineers! The whole package. As far as hair and makeup everyone is paying for their own and everyone was more than ok with that. I made all of my centerpieces from Pinterest. As far as who pays for what I personally believe the father of the bride should pay for the dress. The venue should be a huge contribution from the grooms parent (meaning alcohol & food). The rest should be covered by you guys than.

Just what I made and spent maybe if $100 on all the flowers and fairy lights and I have 3 big bottles, and 6 small ones.


Happy Planning!

We are paying ourselves. My parents offered to pay for our catering so that's a blessing, but wasn't expected. His mother is deceased as well and he doesn't have a close relationship with his father so nothing from that side. We also do not make a lot so we are keeping everything fairly cheap.

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There's still so much decorating fun you can have with a brunch wedding too! Here are a few fun ideas...

formal/classic

European, garden, outdoor

for coffee lovers

carnival

tropical

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing and I hope it all goes well!

View Quoted Comment Oh my gosh I love them!!!

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So many fun ideas, right?!

Sounds like Ike his mom needs to be reminded that it’s 2020. My FH and I are saving money on our own to pay for our wedding. We’re blessed that both sets of parents have opted to help a little bit with our wedding. Nothing that either of us expected and are very grateful for. We both come from middle class families as well.

I'm a bit more unfiltered than most, but if she brought it up again, I would have to say something similar to what everyone else is: it's not her place to weigh in on your, or your FH's, finances.


Compromising is good, so if you're both onboard for a smaller wedding and a big reception, then congrats to you both for finding a workable solution. Talking those things out without either party brow beating the other into giving in is exactly what should happen. That old idea that the wedding is for the bride and honeymoon for the groom is as outdated as offering livestock for a woman's hand 😂
Good luck to you!! I'm sure it will be beautiful.

Parents paying comes from the days when they married off girls without any incomes (usually not old enough to marry in the first place). In this day and age, if you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to figure out how to finance it expecting parents to pay. Plus, you don't have to cater to other people's wishes if you pay yourselves.