Who pays for wedding reception?

You pay for everything unless someone offers. I think it's incredibly rude to assume people are paying for your wedding.

Congratulations on your engagement! To answer your question, No one "has" to pay for anything. Assume it is your responsibility to pay for the entire wedding and all extraneous things. If people offer, that's great. Do not ask anyone to help you pay. Traditionally the brides parents pay for the wedding/reception af the grooms parents pay for the flowers and rehearsal dinner. But that is becoming less frequent as couples are paying for everything themselves.

You and your FH pay unless someone offers to pay for something. Traditionally speaking Brides parents pay for the wedding/reception, grooms parents pay for rehearsal dinner. Mine paid for mine and FHs parents are paying for the Rehearsal dinner, but I never asked and FH and I are contributing. However, nowadays typically the bride and groom pay. If someone gifts you money or offers to pay for something then awesome, but don't expect it.

Agree with the others YOU and your FH pay unless someone offers to pay for anything and at that point you can accept or decline. But nowadays there isn't really the whole one family is expected to pay for this or that anymore.

My parents are paying for the reception. We are paying for all the details (decorations, photographer, transportation, dj etc) and my inlaws are paying for our rehearsal dinner!

People who aren't intimately familiar with traditional formal etiquette tend to get the traditions all wrong. Traditionally:

Independent people buy their own clothes, and the clothes for their dependents. In a world where unmarried "girls" were dependent on their fathers, married "girls" were dependent on their husbands, and potential grooms were assumed to be independent adults, the bride's father was responsible for the cost of her wedding gown and trousseau. If you are an independent adult, then you yourself are responsible for the cost of your wedding gown, independent of other wedding costs.

Independent adults are responsible for their own legal costs, and the legal costs of their dependents. If the only independent adult getting married is the groom, then the groom himself (not the groom's family) pays for the officiant and the marriage license. If both the bride and groom are independent adults, then they arrange these costs between themselves. Similarly, independent adults are responsible for their own and their dependents' living expenses, including the cost of vacations. That means the groom himself (not the groom's family) pays for the honeymoon if he is the only independent adult in the newly-formed family. If both bride and groom are independent adults, then they share the cost of the honeymoon.

The hostess is responsible for all the costs of any formal party that she holds. If the hostess is not financially independent, then her supporting male relative -- usually her husband -- covers her costs, but she remains socially responsible for her guests' safety and comfort and entertainment, and has therefore the right to make all related decisions including the guest-list, the venue, the menu, and the style and wording of the invitations. Traditionally, the bride's mother had the right to host the reception following the wedding ceremony, which meant she and her husband bore all costs of the reception including alcohol. If the bride and groom are hosting the reception, then they share the responsibilities, the right to make all decisions, and the costs. If someone else hosts the reception, then **they** get the rights, responsibilities, and vendors' invoices. Traditionally, being a hostess was considered an honour and privilege and a chance to shine. Since the bride's closest female relative had the pleasure of hosting the reception, the groom's closest female relative was left out and shown up. So, as a consolation, she had the honour and privilege of hosting the rehearsal dinner -- with the caveat that it should always be at least a little more modest than the reception.

Traditionally, well-brought-up gentlemen send flowers prior to a social event, to the lady whom they love or honour. On his wedding day, the groom sends a bouquet to his bride. He gets to choose it, in return for getting to pay for it. Since he's about to create in-law relationships for his mother and his bride's mother, he wisely sends corsages to them, too. If he doesn't, then their respective husbands provide them with flowers (which they pay for). If the bride is dependent on her father, then he honours her bridesmaids by sending them flowers to carry. If the bride is an independent woman, then she provides them with flowers. The hostess orders and pays for all floral decorations for the reception.

People who give gifts pay for them. The wedding ring is a gift from the groom to the bride, so of course he pays for it. Traditionally, grooms did not wear wedding rings; because it would be inappropriate for his father-in-law to give him such a gift. Nowadays when the bride is an independent woman, she also gives a ring, and so she pays for the ring that she will give to the groom.

Tradition dictates: Bride or her family pay for: Reception food, venue, and decor, invites, dress.

Groom or his family pay for honeymoon and rehearsal, liquor. - in most social circles.

That being said - asking your FMIL that was a bit more than taboo.... you shouldn't ask ANYONE including your own parents what they are paying for... its rude and out of date.

You should plan on NO help until someone offers, and when they offer you shouldn't dictate the amount, you should allow them to help with what they are comfortable, and figure it out.... .

There is no typical "division of expense" you are getting married so you pay for it unless someone offers and you choose to accept. My FH and I had full intentions of paying for our wedding until his parents contacted us and asked if they could pay for our wedding since they paid for his brother's years ago. We pay for all of the little things, but they insisted on the big things. My mom wanted to contribute to by paying for my dress, cake, and other things. If someone offers you are VERY lucky.

You are getting married not your families. Assume you two are paying for it all and if someone offers then you can accept. Don't ever count on that money though. Plan the wedding you two can afford and if help comes a long, great.

Hoo boy. Well, stop asking who is paying for your wedding. You are. Asking other people for money is not considered polite, even if they are family. Remember also that if you do accept money, it may come with strings attached.

Omg!!! You can't expect anyone to pay for YOUR wedding especially your fmil. FH and I are paying for our own wedding.

I agree with everyone else on this thread you cannot assume someone is going to pay for something, you have to make sure that you and your FH can pay for it yourselves! My FH and I are paying for everything!

Tradition has it that FH's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner. But there are so many people who are paying for their own weddings that these traditions don't apply anymore. I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for anything unless they offered to.

I'm mortified you went to your future mother and law and told her she's supposed to pay for the reception/anything

Your FMIL is very gracious if she offered to split the cost after you point blank asked her to pay for your wedding...although she may have said that because she felt awkward. You guys should pay for your own wedding, unless your family or his family offer to help.

OP, as others have stated, you should *expect* or *ask* no one but you and your FH to pay for your wedding. HOWEVER, I get the sense from your original question that this is a subject your family has discussed before, if only in passing of it being "traditional". If your parents have mentioned paying for your wedding, I would discuss this with them politely and without assumption or entitlement. You may very well be fortunate enough to have your parents (or his) foot a portion of the bill, but don't plan on anything until it's been explicitly stated to you and a budget has been set.

Thanks for all the responses!

I don't expect people to pay for things, I was curious about what was or is traditional. I've never been involved in any kind of wedding planning before and have little to no experience with it. Hence the question.

My FMIL knows that and wasn't offended, she knows that I was just asking a question because it was suggested they would pay for the reception. I'd never heard that before this week so I was curious!

Thanks again for all the input.

Set a budget you can afford. If someone offers to help, great! You can spend your budget elsewhere for the wedding.

Found this on Pinterest for you. But you and the groom can figure out how you guys want to do things.

Now in days you and your DF pays for your wedding. It's really outdated family to contribute.