Who gets a Plus 1...

If your numbers/budget don’t allow for you to invite single guests with a plus one then that is fair enough, but if you do have the space and budget allows I think it is a nice and courteous thing to do for the comfort and enjoyment of your single guests even if that means having people you don’t know at the wedding. It doesn’t matter how many people you know or if your entire friend group is there, attending a wedding on your own can feel very awkward and extremely lonely. A wedding is THE single worst place to be on your own if you are single and don’t want to be, because everyone else is all loved up and swept up in the atmosphere. I attended a wedding on my own once when I was single, I had several friends there, but that didn’t stop me feeling awful about it. I won’t lie, I seriously considered not attending, not because I didn’t want to join in the day but because I felt so awkward being on my own. At one point towards the end of the first dance, the band invited all of the other couples in the room up onto the floor. Our entire table got up to dance with their partners leaving me sat by myself. I do not need to tell anyone how bad that feels! Needless to say I did not enjoy myself much (and drank more wine than I should have to compensate). None of that is the bride and groom’s fault or problem but after that experience I would rather all of our guests at least have the option of bringing someone with them rather than be in my shoes.

I really don’t get the issue with having “strangers” at a wedding. Surely attending events like this is how strangers become friends. There are quite a number of guests on FH’s side I haven’t met (including several family members) simply because they live in another country. That’s life these days, we don’t all live next door to each other and see each other all the time the way perhaps it was in the past. It would honestly never have occurred to me to object to the presence of people he wanted to invite because I haven’t met them, which I realize is a little different to the random plus one scenario, but a new face is a new face. I am actually really looking forward to meeting them all and including them in our extended network. Isn’t that what weddings are all about, forging and strengthening ties.

I am not a fan of “no ring, no bring”. It has a judgemental undertone to me, though I know that’s not how everyone means it. If I have one friend who is engaged after six months and another who isn’t engaged but has been with her partner two years, does the first friend get to bring her fiancé and other has to leave her partner at home? That’s just plain crazy to me.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you completely.

I was a person who didn't get a plus one. We had been dating for over a decade and living together longer than the bride had even known her FH.. we had a three year old child and he was not invited to the wedding because only married and engaged people were invited together. We're not together anymore but I'm also not as close to my cousin as I was pre-wedding. I felt really slighted by her decision.

As previously stated, plus ones are for singles only. I agree if they are traveling or wouldn't really know anyone they should be given a plus one. As to the "no ring, no bring" rule, I think it could cause problems. My wedding is in 2 yrs and my FH hasn't officially proposed yet. We have a date and are already planning. We also live together and have 2 kids(one together and mine from a previous marriage). While we consider ourselves engaged I do not have a ring. I would definitely consider SOs before plus ones.

We gave plus ones to anyone in the wedding party that was single. Then we invited everyone in a relationship. I think it's a little silly to designate "long term relationships" and not invite everyone in relationships.

I based mine more on if you knew anyone else at the wedding. I 100% see where you're coming from though because it's a lot of money...and you really DONT know these people. If I gave every single person a plus one or if I added everyone who was in a relationship that just would have bloated my space and budget to what I couldn't afford. I didn't really base mine on marriage or relationship length though it was just moreso if you knew anyone aha. I had very limited space.

I based mine on the categories of "married, engaged, or long-term relationship" as well. If your space is limited for the wedding, there isn't anything wrong with limiting your guests from receiving a plus one.

I had a problem a few weeks ago where my FH's groomsmen asked if they could have a plus one (the groomsmen and his gf have only been together for like a month) and my FH said yes. I got into it with him and explained that what if this relationship did not work out and that plus one could have gone to a family member we wanted more to be there on the day of the wedding. Long story short, we came to the agreement that if anyone were to ask, we would just say "we would love to accommodate more guests, but our budget is strict and our space is just not enough to invite more people. We will see it about it in the next few months."

I get the whole, no one likes to go to a wedding alone, but if you have budget restrains and space limitation, then what can ya do?

So plus ones are for single people. If someone is in a relationship, their SO should be included by name on the invitation. Plus ones are completely optional and I totally agree with you about not wanting people you hardly know there. However, it's generally very nice to give plus ones to single people who don't really know anyone - if you have anyone who falls into that category, they will appreciate the option.

How close are you to all your guests and how well do your guests know each other? (are you inviting only close friends and family who know each other very well or are you inviting your coworker you talk to at lunch but never hang out with outside of work?) I can tell you right now, if i was invited to a friend's wedding and i'm only friends with the bride and groom, and they told me i can't bring a guest i wouldn't go, under the sheer fact that i don't know anyone and i am not that social to make friends easy with people. Almost every wedding we've gone to i haven't known most of the people ( i was only friends with the bride or groom) and if i didn't have my FH with me i would've sat in silence poking my food, never get up to dance, and left early.

If you are inviting people you don't really know that well (mild acquaintances then perhaps don't invite them at all if you don't want them to come with a plus one. Stick to only the friends and family you are close to and who can mingle well with each other without having a plus 1.

I completely agree with you... long term relationship, engaged or married should be the only plus one's. You don't want to have a bunch of randoms at your wedding, and you definitely don't want to look back at pictures and have a bunch of people you don't know in your photos or video (this happened to my friend). Don't get sucked into letting everyone and anyone come to your very special day! I say if they don't know both of you personally, they shouldn't be there.

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Also if you not only don't want random people there but also have a budget, stick to it and don't feel bad about it!

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I agree and I will add that is silly to take the stance of "No strangers at my wedding" - you want your friends to be comfortable and if they know no one else there, let them have someone to sit with. We gave plus ones and if a single friend of my hubby's brought a girl he met the week before, as long as she is clean and pressed and reasonably sober, lol, I don't care. He could marry her someday for all I know.

Everyone who is single should get a plus one. Those in relationships (married or not) should be intivited together. This is just my opinion.

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I agree. Even when we were dating and not engaged yet, if either of us were invited without the other one invited, we would have declined.

As others have said, both parties in a relationship should be invited by name. I did give plus ones to the few single friends that were invited. So the night we got married I met a couple people I didn't know. It works out fine because then all your guests can be comfortable, and you typically don't have time to get uncomfortable because you will be busy running around trying to spend time with everyone anyway.

I just don’t want any randoms at my wedding. We don’t really have anyone single coming to our wedding but the few that have asked for a plus one I’ve asked to meet them at least lol before the wedding.

It's not a big deal to me

I think people who’ve been dating 6+ months can bring their SO, and out-of-town guests should be offered a +1 so they can have a travel companion. No +1’s for in-town guests, but we have a fairly tight circle of friends and everyone will know at least one other person.

What my FH and I did was we made our own guest list and we added them up together. We both agreed that if we were to invite someone who isn’t in a relationship they should bring a plus 1. Or if they have children those children are welcomed too! That way they don’t feel so awkward and will have someone to talk too if they don’t know anyone at the wedding. Some couples don’t like adding plus 1’s (or more) which is understandable but to FH and I we felt like we should. We have two children of our own and the more children to come the better! Yes it’s suppose to be our night but I also think of others and people’s situation. It’s not easy finding sitters. This is my opinion.

View Quoted Comment Same here. My FH and I been together for 13 years with a 10 and 6 year old. We’ll be getting married in December next year. I was invited to a wedding but I couldn’t bring my children (adults only) and I couldn’t bring my FH. Although we’re not married yet I felt like it wasn’t fair that they just wanted me and not the rest of my family to the wedding. I didn’t hesitate to decline.

We only invited spouses or long term significant others (most of which we know well), however, we are going to give a plus one to one of his friends from middle school because he really doesn't know anyone except the two of us. I have a couple single friends and may extend a plus one when we send out invitations if we know there are some people that won't attend. Both of my single friends know my family and some of my friends enough to not feel alone or left out and we aren't doing a sit down so it won't be like they have to be stuck at a table with people they don't know.