What to write in Thank You cards to guests who didnt give gifts? 80% of our guests did not bring gift or card!

Oh wow. How fucking rude can people get?! 80%! Everyone covered it. No gift, no thank you. Reception was the thank you.

@Tamara I feel like I need a counter for how many times you used the word doctor.... what does profession have to do with it?! They don't teach etiquette in med school.

Wow OP that is truly terrible! I would never dream of attending a wedding and not bringing a gift. I live in Charlotte and FH and I are also in our 30s and we've already received some generous gifts off our registry. I've never heard of anyone not giving a gift for a wedding. How rude.

No, just disgusted with the level of greed you've displayed in your posts.

Goskell, Muriel is absolutely correct. Sending a thank you note when no gift was given can come across as a reminder to the guest that they didn't give anything or a hint to send a gift which isn't polite. You thank them for coming in person at the wedding.

Olivia has a point, someone may have walked off with your gifts. 80% not gifting you anything is really perplexing to me.

I think that's odd. Not to be silly, are you sure you emptied the card box? Or that some one from your venue didn't do it for you and put them somewhere? My first wedding every person brought a card, not all had a gift/cash but at least a card.

But ues, a thank you note, thank you for sharing our special day.

How about something like.... thank you for celebrating with us, for the gifts, your help and support, we really appreciate it!

No gift means no need to send them a thank you card.

We had quite a few people that didn't give gifts either. However, I did still send thank you cards. I just wrote that we were thankful that they were there to share in our special day. I kept those ones short.

As others have said if there were no gifts no thank you cards are needed. If it was me I would send thank you cards for coming to celebrate my marriage.

My concern is could have someone potentially walked off with some of your gifts? To send such a generic Thank you like that may be interpreted wrongly by people that did gift you but you didn't receive it.

To people saying guests don't have to bring gifts: If brides have to do a million things all for the sake of proper hosting and proper etiquette, why don't guests have to bring a gift?? That is literally the only etiquette obligation they have! Either you want everyone to play by proper etiquette rules or you don't, but it doesn't make sense to impose them only on one party.

I also don't think you're greedy or that @Tamara is greedy.

Preach @Iyla!! I 100% agree!

You should still thank them for joining you on your special day. A wedding isn't about gifts it's about the celebration of your love and unity

@Lyla Gifts are never required at a wedding. In the words of Miss Manner, "A wedding invitation is not an invoice." The "million things" the bride (and hopefully her groom/bride) does are in order to thank the guests for attending their wedding. The guests took time out of their day and possibly spent a lot of money travel to witness their marriage ceremony. THAT is the guests' contribution and while it is perhaps agreed upon that they should give a gift on top of that, it's not required and not against etiquette.

That said, they should at least give a card.

@Malice. You took that quote totally out of context. I found the article you quoted from and Miss Manners actually says that you SHOULD to bring a gift. See below.

"There is no such thing as an invoice for a wedding present. Neither a wedding invitation nor a formal announcement constitutes that. You give a wedding present because you want to indicate symbolically that you care about the couple. Yes, there is a catch. That is that you should not be attending a wedding if you do not care about the couple (either truly, or because they are relatives and you are supposed to care), and therefore wedding guests give wedding presents. If you decline the invitation, or if you are not invited but receive an announcement, all that is required is that you send the couple good wishes."

Etiquette is not a requirement, it is "the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group." At least where I live, it's polite behavior to bring a gift to a wedding. That societal norm may be different depending on location.

@lyla I completely agree with you! @Tamara I do not find you greedy what so ever!

@OliviaP She might have, but how would she go about trying to find out?

No gift? Okay Fine thats cool.... I already know who is not bringing a gift cause i know my peeps....

But no card??? come on??? anyone can get a $.50 card from dollar tree... it is not that hard to do....

i agree with most no gift or card, no thank you note needed!

I would sent the TY notes as thank you for being there on our special day. Maybe a cute pic of you guys (vistaprint)

@Lyla, okay, so if we are going to play that game, she says in other columns:

"No, no, no. A wedding invitation requires an immediate response, accepting or declining it. Anyone who accepts presumably cares enough to comply with the convention of sending a present. "

Convention. Not requirement. Sure, people give gifts because it's maybe expected but they aren't wrong for not doing so.

And she says:

"Yes, a wedding present is generally given and a sentimental note is always thoughtful, although hardly a tradition or necessity from those who attended. But it seems to Miss Manners that after what can now be up to a year or two of celebrations and festivities surrounding a wedding, guests are simply exhausted. And they feel they have shown their sentiment for the couple merely by continuing to show up — and shell out."

If you are getting married and only care about the gifts you are doing it wrong.

@OliviaP I voiced my concern a page or 2 back.