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Jessica
Beginner May 2017

What to write in Thank You cards to guests who didnt give gifts? 80% of our guests did not bring gift or card!

Jessica, on May 11, 2017 at 4:09 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 82

So about 80% of our wedding guests didnt bring a gift or card. I planned on writing something cute in thank you cards like "thank you so much for your generous gift, we plan to use it towards our honeymoon" etc but hardly anyone brought a gift. What do I write now? Do I just write something short...

So about 80% of our wedding guests didnt bring a gift or card. I planned on writing something cute in thank you cards like "thank you so much for your generous gift, we plan to use it towards our honeymoon" etc but hardly anyone brought a gift. What do I write now? Do I just write something short and thank them for coming and spending the day with us? I need some generic wording to fill up a blank thank you card! Help!

82 Comments

  • MrsMitch
    Master August 2017
    MrsMitch ·
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    80% WTF that's crazy rude. Those 80% actually deserved a cash bar (joking).

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  • Kelly King
    Kelly King ·
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    The wedding isn't supposed to be about the gifts -- So why not thank them with a note as well as a reception??

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  • MJ
    VIP April 2017
    MJ ·
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    I posted a similar question last week. Several people didn't bring a gift or card... not 80% but about 50%. I know you shouldn't expect a gift but at least a card?? I was kind of ticked off but I'm over it now. I am sending thank you cards to those that did bring a gift. The party itself was a thank you to those that came and celebrated with you.

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  • Tamara
    Super October 2017
    Tamara ·
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    FutureMRs - you are SO RIGHT!! They should have been served a CASH BAR!! haha

    eta-spelling

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  • Tamara
    Super October 2017
    Tamara ·
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    Goskell - actually, weddings ARE about gifts. I throw a huge party for you (cocktail hour, alcohol, apps, dinner, dancing), least you can do is bring a gift... it doesn't have to be anything big, but something simple.

    UNLESS my wedding is a cash bar/dry/potluck and all other disastrous things I see here, I don't see a reason why 80% of the guests wouldn't bring a gift.

    eta- spelling

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  • Miranda
    VIP May 2017
    Miranda ·
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    I would say no thank you card.

    If they gave you a gift or even just a card I would send one.

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  • Jessica
    Beginner May 2017
    Jessica ·
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    We paid for the wedding ourselves. We have been together for 10 years so people must have assumed we have everything we need?

    I am from Raleigh, NC where people definitely make money. We are in our 30's - and all our friends definitely make more money than us. My wedding was an hour and a half away near Wilmington. So maybe assumed that if they had to travel and get a hotel for a night they dont need a gift?

    We had an open bar the entire night, buffet meal, and lots of fun and dancing. We hosted a very good wedding with no faux pass (I'm an avid WW stalker and know what not to do!).

    We registered at Amazon and received some gifts before and after the wedding. I checked the registry and there are no more pending gifts.

    We thought it was very weird too. My DOC was around the card box all night and said no one ever came over and tampered with it and I took it home that night to be safe.

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  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
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    Tamara, you sound greedy as fuck. What that doctor did was insanely rude and you agree with him? Gross. If someone wants to give you a damn bowl, then your only job is to be grateful. No one owes you $$$ just because you invite them to a party. Give me a break.

    OP, no need to send thank you notes just for attendance.

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  • Kelly King
    Kelly King ·
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    @Tamara - MY wedding was about getting married to my best friend and celebrating with my friends and family. No gifts were expected. But we did appreciate every gift that was given, and thanked ALL of our guests with a hand-written note. I can't understand any good reason NOT to say Thanks to anyone.

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  • P
    Master April 2018
    Powers2 ·
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    Wow. That really surprises me.

    No thank you for no gift.

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  • Tamara
    Super October 2017
    Tamara ·
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    Emily - you sound ANGRY as fuck.

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  • Tamara
    Super October 2017
    Tamara ·
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    Goskell - of course its not expected, it is just a nice gesture. I have never gone to a wedding without bringing them a very generous gift.

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  • Mermaid
    VIP November 2017
    Mermaid ·
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    @Tamara


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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    I realize that technically weddings are not gift giving events, but hell, who does that? Even if I had zero money at all, I'd still bring a card.

    No, you don't need to do a thank you note for people who arrived; your well hosted reception is a thank you.

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  • Michelle
    Expert July 2017
    Michelle ·
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    No gift = no thank you card

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  • Larry
    Expert November 2018
    Larry ·
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    If they didn't give you any card or money or anything, there is no need for a thank you card. If for whatever reason you still want to give them one, maybe "Thank you for celebrating with us! We had a wonderful time and loved having you."

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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    @goskell I agree that weddings are not about gifts but I would not feel comfortable in attending a wedding without having previously sent a gift. No one should take gifts to a wedding. It is just one more thing for someone to worry about , securing and transporting gifts.

    A thank you note for attending, to someone who didn't send a gift, can be interpreted as a passive aggressive reminder that you didn't receive their gift (as you are obviously unable to thank them for their gift- the usual reason for sending thank you notes after a wedding).

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  • xjoyceee
    Expert July 2017
    xjoyceee ·
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    Not even a card? That's crazy! I agree, if they didn't bring a gift there's no need for a card. The good food and fun time they had at your reception should be thank you enough for attending.

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  • Constance
    VIP October 2017
    Constance ·
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    You thanked them for attending by feeding them at the reception. Thank you cards are for gifts.

    Also, I'm surprised to hear a lot of people are expecting gifts. No one needs to pay you back for the cost of the wedding. It's incredibly nice to receive gifts, but I wouldn't call my guests rude for not giving one.

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  • K.M.
    Master September 2018
    K.M. ·
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    I agree with Emily. You sound so fucking greedy, Tamara

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