Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Laura
Master October 2019

What made you decide kids or no kids?

Laura, on September 28, 2019 at 3:18 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 75

Was there something that influenced your choice on whether or not to allow kids at your wedding? If you aren't having them are you keep a lot of grief over your choice? I'm just asking in general. We're allowing kids at ours, but I can totally understand the reasons why another couple may not. ...

Was there something that influenced your choice on whether or not to allow kids at your wedding? If you aren't having them are you keep a lot of grief over your choice?

I'm just asking in general. We're allowing kids at ours, but I can totally understand the reasons why another couple may not.

75 Comments

  • Jamie
    Dedicated June 2021
    Jamie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My FH and I love kids however we have A LOT of children in our families. In order to afford the venue of our dreams, we needed to cut the guest list.
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Beginner August 2021
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Between both families there are too kids and they are pretty young. So to cut some of the unnecessary cost no kids.
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Beginner August 2021
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Typo too many kids
    • Reply
  • H
    Super September 2019
    H ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We have three kids but decided to not have them come only because we eloped on a mountain ledge and I didn't want any of them to run and fall off. There's no coming back from that. So are reasoning was for their safety.
    • Reply
  • Daijha
    Just Said Yes June 2020
    Daijha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    With children, it adds about 30 seats and most of the kids that would be coming are toddler or preschool aged. We want a small, intimate wedding and I can’t imagine a toddler sitting still & being quiet during the ceremony, they don’t understand so tantrums would definitely break out at some point. We also want to have an open bar and with that many young children running around with a bunch of drunk adults ? It would just be too much. I was on the fence for a while because I know several of my friends have such a hard time finding a babysitter but it’s ultimately the best decision for us, especially since we want our ceremony at a historical park which is super quiet and serene. My plan is for my 10 year old twin sisters to be the flower girls that pull our daughter down the aisle in a wagon.
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Dedicated November 2019
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm not hugely into kids to begin with, plus my venue is an art gallery so having kids would've meant having to pay for expensive insurance. The only child present will be my flower girl, who is 10 and who's parents are in the wedding party as one of my bridesmaids and my FH's best man.

    • Reply
  • Fany
    Devoted October 2021
    Fany ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I decided no kids because parents these days are too insecure when someone else tells their child to stop doing something they are not supposed to do (I.e. screaming at the top of their lungs, throwing things to try to get it caught in the chandelier, etc).
    • Reply
  • Misty
    Super October 2019
    Misty ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Several reasons.

    1. Cost. Every extra body is an extra cost for food, furniture

    2. Venue. 2 story exposed brick historic building. Split levels. Not a safe environment for a kids to be "exploring."

    3. Open Bar. After being in the hospitality world as long as I have been... babies do not belong in a bar, and an OPEN bar at a wedding is no different (in my opinion). And we are having FOUR open bars. That would be a job in and of itself to monitor who was getting drinks.

    4. Parents attending an open bar wedding want to imbibe. How do they responsibly do so while still watching their children to ensure they behave respectfully? They typically don't or can't. They either forgo having a good time to parent more... or they indulge and the kids run amuck. (Tons of experience with this)

    5. Children crying and screaming during sentimental vows that we have taken much time and effort to make super special... is not for us.

    6. Most of our friends with kids are OVER THE MOON excited to get a night out and a babysitter so they can get dolled up and go on a date night. Even IF they have kids they would rather do so in an adult environment.

    7. We don't want kids there. And it's our wedding.

    Some people say things to rebuttal like "but my kids behave." But how can you expect kids to behave when adults are dancing and letting lose and drinking... why create a lose lose scenario.
    Some people say "but I can drink around my kids and still parent." But although they may be the exception to the rule... the rule is parents drink and have a good time, kids are less attended... kids act out. And other adults end up parenting someone else's kid.
    Some people say "I don't care if kids scream or cry or yell, that's just kids being kids." Ok... let kids be kids in a kid friendly environment, not an adult ceremony with adult situations.

    I know everyone sees this one a little differently. But the reasons why we said no to kids... (except cost) are issues other people attending have with children also.

    We actually printed on back of menu attached photo.

    And we honestly do feel that way. We love all of our friends and families kids, but we do not feel they should attend a wedding. Specifically one with our set up.


    What made you decide kids or no kids? 1
    • Reply
  • Eri
    Super October 2020
    Eri ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We're happily allowing kids of all ages. Based on the group of people we're inviting, there will probably be about 10 kids there -- from infants to pre-teens.

    Neither of us really even considered not allowing children. Our venue has a kids menu, so they're very accommodating. We're pretty much just leaving it up to the parents if they want to bring their kids along, or have more of a date night. If the people that bring kids have to leave a bit early, we won't be offended.

    My FH and I love kids, and are excited to have them celebrate with us! Maybe if the group of people we were inviting had more kids or something, we would've had more of a discussion, but fortunately we didn't have to worry about any of that.

    • Reply
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    We decided to have no children period at our ceremony or venue. We are limiting our guest list to 21 years and older. We made that decision for several reasons. We are having a destination wedding in the French Quarter of New Orleans, so most venues have an age restriction of 21 and up. Those under the age restriction wouldn’t be allowed into most venues, so they would either be confined to the hotel room or their parents would have to miss out on activities to watch them. I also have an extremely large family- I have 68 aunts, uncles and first cousins just on my mom’s side alone! So we needed to cut down the guest list as much as possible, both for budgetary reasons & for guest limits on the venue. We haven’t sent out invites yet, but we have made it very well known that we will not be inviting anyone under 21 due to the nature of the location, and we have not gotten any push back as of yet. Hopefully that doesn’t change once the invites go out!
    • Reply
  • Carol
    Devoted October 2019
    Carol ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    For us, it was ultimately a budget issue. If everyone brought their kids, we'd have 30 or so more people to feed and we just couldn't do it. Also, FH and I are childfree by choice. While we do like children, they are not an inherent part of our lives. We don't think they belong at every event or need to be included in everything adults do.

    We've had a few people not like the idea, but only one has declined to attend because their grandchildren aren't invited.
    • Reply
  • J
    Savvy June 2022
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My sister is have an over the age of 16 wedding. We don’t have a lot of little kids in the family so it was made easy for her side. While on her future husbands side of the family they have a lot of little ones and they don’t want them running around during the wedding. The only kids will be the ones in the bridal party but we will have a babysitter on standby if the parents want a kid free night after the ceremony.
    • Reply
  • A
    VIP December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We are allowing kids at our's but only because I have kids and it would seem odd to me to have my kids there and tell other people not to bring their kids. Plus, a wedding is a family event and family is family regardless of an age.

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Dedicated October 2019
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    The only kids at our wedding of our nieces (flower girls) and nephews who are teenagers. Besides that, only my cousin asked to bring her two kids since the whole fam will be there so no one could watch them but I was planning on inviting her kids before she asked. Besides that, everyone else wants a fun adult night/weekend
    • Reply
  • Staci
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Staci ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    No kids for us. cost and space is the issue.
    • Reply
  • J
    Devoted April 2022
    J ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    So when I was younger - & well before my FH walked into my life - I use to always say I would have kid free wedding (never been big on kids lol) but now that I'm older I've come to realize how much of a pain that would be! First people might need to be requesting time off and arrange travel, then on top of that to find childcare?? Just sounds like a hassle, and expensive lol.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We decided kids for a lot of reasons:

    1. Two "nephews" born last October.

    2. Three "niblings" born 3 1/2 years ago.

    3. Many cousins with kids.

    The last ended up being moot, as my family didn't attend, but the first two were really worth it, as we used one friend's nanny as the babysitter. This allowed the young families to come, stay as long as they wanted, and not have to worry about their own babysitters or watching the kids at the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Renee
    Super October 2020
    Renee ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Kids are part of the family, I couldn't imagine not inviting kids. When I was a kid, I enjoyed going to weddings, eating, dancing, and seeing how pretty everyone looked. I know other kids enjoy it too. We also have 6 kids so it seemed pointless to stop other kids from coming. Not to mention, I'm close to my 4 nieces and nephews and I can't imagine not having them there.

    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Devoted April 2021
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We are having children at ours of ALL ages. MY Fh's 8 year old is our ring bearer. So we really didn't want him to be the only kiddo there! Besides there will be plenty for all of them to do!

    • Reply
  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I have a son so it was a no brainer for us. My cousin and DH's bff left their kids at home while SIL and his aunt brought kids. My son was SO thankful there were other kids and he was stoked to meet his new cousins. We had it all perfectly arranged for the grandparents aunts and uncles to watch the kids so we and anyone who brought kids could go out and enjoy Vegas.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics