Laura
Master October 2019

What made you decide kids or no kids?

Laura, on September 28, 2019 at 3:18 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 75
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Was there something that influenced your choice on whether or not to allow kids at your wedding? If you aren't having them are you keep a lot of grief over your choice?

I'm just asking in general. We're allowing kids at ours, but I can totally understand the reasons why another couple may not.

75 Comments

Latest activity by Shannon, on October 5, 2019 at 9:05 PM
  • K
    Expert October 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    My wedding will be a family affair but this is due to the fact that I am almost 40 with a 13 year old and 9 year old. I also have 2 nieces and 2 nephews. So they will all be a part of the wedding party and my son is walking me down the aisle. We are huge family people and I cannot imagine having a wedding without ALL of our family including kids. I have 150 people coming and 20 of them will be kids. We will have a kids activity area and they will be dancing right along with the rest of our guest. I cannot wait!!
    • Reply
  • Monique
    Master December 2019
    Monique ·
    • Flag
    Our venue is a restored historic building with many staircases and a secret passage way. Many people just do not watch their kids and that is why we decided against allowing them. The venue has a very strict child policy to the tune of 600$ if a kid is found unattended outside of the auditorium. It’s just not something we wanted to have to deal with keeping an eye on or reminding parents. The only kids will be the kids of people in the wedding party. No grief at all. Most people understand.
    • Reply
  • Jo
    Expert November 2020
    Jo ·
    • Flag
    We’re not having kids under 12 and before I even made the guest list people were upset. There are a few reasons for this. The main reason is that in the past year several of my friends have gotten married to someone that has many kids. I think it equaled up to like 15 kids on just my side. The venue we booked doesn’t have a kids menu or price option, so we’d be paying the full price for them (which includes the bar and a 3 course meal). We just decided that we didn’t have the money to do that.
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Dedicated October 2019
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    We decided on no kids under the age of 10. Our reasons for that decision is that we are having such a small wedding and with the very young kids it left absolutely no spots for us to invite friends. The other reason is all the weddings we have been to, it just seemed like the younger kids became bored and weren’t enjoying being there. We haven’t gotten any grief for the decision.
    • Reply
  • Christina
    Devoted July 2020
    Christina ·
    • Flag
    We are both teachers ! I love the kids. But also we have friends with kids and I would hate for them not attend due to a babysitter canceling or etc etc. I don’t mind.
    • Reply
  • Lisa Marie
    Devoted October 2020
    Lisa Marie ·
    • Flag
    Well for us is if we allowed everyone on our guest list to bring their kids, there would be about 20 kids! I think that’s crazy!! We love their kids but I don’t want to deal with crying and fighting on top of the extra costs.
    • Reply
  • Terran
    Dedicated December 2020
    Terran ·
    • Flag

    Well considering all my friends who have kids are all small babies and I don't exactly want to be in the middle of my vows and a kid decides to start throwing a tantrum. No kids. I already had one of my friends be a little upset over it, but I told her, when she gets married she can make the rules on kids or not. I just prefer not to have people dealing with their babies at my wedding. Find a sitter or don't come, simple as that.


    Now, side note, if I had more friends with more kids, I would probably end up changing that and putting coloring books and crayons into a bucket for them during my wedding. I love kids, I just don't think a little baby should be at my wedding right now.

    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Dedicated July 2020
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    We decided no kids. By cutting kids, we eliminated around 30 meals and chairs we would have had to accommodate. We are also having an open bar and would like all attendants to enjoy their time without worrying about the children!
    • Reply
  • Laquanda
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Laquanda ·
    • Flag
    We decided no kids! Our kids will be in the wedding and will attend some of the reception. But we are sending them home. We want our guest to be able to enjoy us and themselves without worrying about who's watching the kids.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I didn't allow kids at ceremony. We had a nursery with a child care worker from the church take care of the kids though so it wasn't an issue. However I decided on it because I know the kids from our church aha and they're beyond disruptive so it felt like I wanted to say my vows in peace
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Savvy September 2021
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    We decided to only have our kids and our niece and nephews because there would just be too many kids otherwise. If we invited everyone’s kids that would be 47 kids... to me that just sounds like a recipe for disaster.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    I notice a lot of people tend not to really watch their kids lol, they'll be running around getting into things, crying, etc. Also, if I plan to invite everyone's kids, it'll add up FAST and I don't have that kind of money. If I did, I'd hire a nanny lol.

    The only kids that are allowed are babies that you have to carry (bottle fed/nursing) and family kids.

    • Reply
  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
    • Flag
    I have 10 nieces under the age of 12 and the older ones would be disappointed if I didn’t invite them. We’re pretty close. I also have a 9 and 12 year old. That being said I very kindly told my one sister to leave her 2 and 3 year old at daycare that day because they won’t behave (I don’t expect them to). We’re getting married on a Friday afternoon so they would have been at daycare anyway.
    • Reply
  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    We’re mostly not having kids. There aren’t many in my social circle. MOH’s 10 year, who is family to me, is of course invited. My other friend who has 2 kids that I don’t know at all, is only invited with her husband. And I seriously doubt she’d ever think to question MOH’s son being there.
    • Reply
  • Megan
    Expert October 2019
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    We are allowing kids because our son, niece, and nephews will be there. We wanted to share our day with the kids we loved. Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Aleaj
    Expert October 2019
    Aleaj ·
    • Flag
    The reason i decided to not have kids was because there was no way I’d be able to feed and sit them while staying in budget. Kids require more seats & money. Also this is my own personal reason...but i remember at my aunts wedding, our cousin bought her newborn baby & he cried through the entire ceremony & she wouldn’t take him out. She still hates to watch her wedding video. Lol A lot of couples were actually glad because they have an opportunity for a date night
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Devoted December 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    We honestly didn’t even think about not having kids there. It just wasn’t even a thought on the table for us. However if I had to say there was a “deciding factor” it’s probably our age. We are mid twenties. So a lot of our friends/cousins/siblings have kids. We have several nieces and nephews and are very close to them so we wanted them there. That being said, it’s slightly annoying that distant friends/acquaintances/coworkers we are inviting are bringing their kids that we have never met, or maybe met once. We are allowing them because we don’t want anyone to feel obligated to get a babysitter, though some are. I have one coworker who has 4 kids. So there’s 6 of them at $20+ a head. I love her kids and I’ll be happy to have them, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t sigh a little when i got her RSVP for 6 people instead of 2.😅
    • Reply
  • Miranda
    Dedicated September 2020
    Miranda ·
    • Flag
    If we weren't having a little wedding with my son and my little cousin being there. We were expecting to invite kids. Because I feel like it's something you invite your family to and I would of wanted all my family to be there
    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Super December 2021
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This was my problem too. Full price for kids is insane to me especially considering they’re not drinking, and they for sure will complain about eating the mahi mahi or beef tenderloin. No Mac and cheese at my wedding. My FHs daughter is the token kid at my wedding for obvious reasons and she will be in bed by 9.
    • Reply
  • Ashley
    Dedicated August 2021
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    We had a few reasons not to have kids. The first is because there are about 70 kids (under 18) between the 200 invited adults. 70!! We would have had to cut our guest list WAY down to keep the total count around 200.

    The other reason is because we are having a nice wedding/cocktail hour/reception and we just don’t want kids crying or running around and we want the adults to really enjoy themselves.

    We made it very clear from the beginning about our rule and so far it’s been alright. Save the dates have been out and we haven’t heard anything negative so hopefully it all turns out well!
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