What is the consensus on the Dollar Dance??

There has been a dollar dance at every single wedding I’ve ever been to so I think in my region its common and socially acceptable. As far as this site goes, what I’ve seen is that they are tacky and asking for a handout. My opinion is that it is a know your crowd situation.

Following- my venue has this on their list and just looking to get opinions

Every wedding I've been to has had one besides a few I'm actually doing one myself. I didn't know that people thought it was tacky but to each their own if your comfortable doing so then do it it's only one dance and it's only one song just a long one lol but I think they are fun and you never know you might actually enjoy hanging out with the guest at the wedding. I'm also doing a cash bar too. So if they see it as a hand out well then so be it

We actually excluded that and when people knew that we weren’t doing it they were surprised and/or requested for us to have it. So by ALL the request it’s in now included in our night #10daystogo

I think it’s tacky but I know in certain cultures it’s the norm. If you don’t regularly see it at weddings in your circle I wouldn’t do it.

I agree with the previous comments that you have to know your crowd. I had never heard of it but FH insisted his family always does it. Saw it for the first time last month and it was so fun. I would not have been able to talk to the bride much except for our little 30 seconds together. We are doing it. I would guess if your vibe is very formal and upscale it wouldn’t fit, better in a more laid back/party environment.

Yep tacky.
I agree with other commenter though, base your decision on your crowd. Me & mine would think it’s cheesy & tacky. You & yours may not. Do what’s right for you!

I guess the true traditional way is to pin the money on the bride and groom but the one I went to had the MOH and best man collecting in a hat instead. That seemed to be clean and people were lining up for it! I’m in southern CA, so not sure if it is or isn’t a cultural thing here? The one I saw was in AZ

I think if it's a tradition as part of your culture then yeah it's fine but if it's not then it's just another tacky way to get money out of your guests on top of what they already deliberately chose to gift you. If it was just about spending time with your guests then you could just as easily do it without money (ask them to give you a piece of advice etc) but asking for money is generally in bad taste

My family and my fh's family have always done it. The only time it wasn't done was for my sisters destination wedding. She felt like because everyone had to get a hotel, they already spent more money than our usual weddings. We will be doing it at ours. (Not a destination wedding) I live in southern California, so similar region to you OP. But I think it's could be more of family tradition than region related, possibly.

If you want to dance with your guests, dance with your guests. They shouldn’t have to pay. Pay for your own vacation.

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Agreed^ It's a common thing in my culture so I always bring a little extra money for the money dance. But, if it's new to your guests it may be awkward if most of them don't have any extra money on hand ... and it's difficult to 'eloquently' let your guests know to bring money ahead of time (unless they know you're having a cash bar )

Agree, also native of SoCal. My experience is unless this is part of the family's culture, most people find it cringe-worthy/tacky, and I have definitely seen it kill a fun "everybody's dancing" vibe and send people running to the restrooms/bar/outside to the patio to avoid it. Unless your entire extended family/guest list (probably for cultural reasons) is super in to it, I do NOT recommend it. It's certainly not going to net you a windfall of $ (and can definitely be seen as rude to ask people who likely already gave a gift to give you more). For those who say, "Oh, I don't expect much money I just think it's a fun way to interact with our guests," you can do that anyway -- just make a point of dancing with as many people as possible. My bottom line? BIG NO.... Good luck!

This is the first time I'm learning about this lol but its true different cultures have different traditions. In russia where im from its common to have a baby gamble game. Where guests put money in 2 jars - one if they think the couple will have a girl and another if the guests think the couple will have a boy. They do it to music and usually the dj cracks a ton of jokes and its really fun.

All the wedding I have been had a dollar dance, I want to incorporate it into our day. I think it's cute and a good wat to fund the honeymoon.

Its a regional or traditional thing. Im used to them and don't think of them as " tacky." where I'm from (western PA/pittsburgh) It's a part of the reception just like cutting the cake, couple entrances, garter toss, etc. I've seen it at probably half the weddings I've attended and it's a way to connect and have a moment with the bride /groom. I don't care for them because they take up sooooooo much time during the reception. It's an energy killer.

I read a really good story about a women who didn't like the idea of a dollar dance, but her Husbands family tradition does it at all weddings. So they found a good compromise and it turned out really well.

It is from Reddit! I am not sure if everyone knows Reddit, but they have a great wedding planning subreddit!

The dollar dance grew from (generally poor) immigrant cultures where a dollar was the actual gift given to the couple. Many people will argue that it's a Polish tradition, it's actually a Polish-American tradition. Most actual Poles don't know about the custom. Mexican and Filipino cultures are also known to have the dances. I'm going to guess that the custom grew from Spanish immigrants, although it's not a Spanish custom.

Regardless, I'm a huge believer that guests shouldn't ever have to open their wallets at a wedding. I don't cringe too much if the couple both come from heritages where it would be expected and non of the guests would be surprised/confused/unknowing about the custom.

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My perspective is similar to Mim's, in So Cal, I've seen this at three weddings (and, at my age, I've likely been to several dozen weddings). The first, the bride's family was Mexican & the groom's was not. It was clear her family was really into it and his was shocked; the MOG was very embarrassed. The second, the couple was Filipino (we were there as work friends, not of their culture) and all the extended family was really into it -- it was cool and clearly very fun for most people there. The third, was a couple with NO cultural ties to a money dance (the "most Caucasian" [and not Polish or any other descent that might identify with the tradition] people you could imagine). That whole wedding was a mess -- they spent a ton of $ on the whole thing and clearly thought their theme was "formal & classy," but made many less-than-guest-friendly choices like cash bar (for EVERYTHING except water, tea & coffee) while they had two different drones filming the event, etc. After a LONG evening reception with too much time spent on things like a 20-minute video montage of the couple growing up, when they stopped the dance party that finally got going for the $ dance it was pretty much the last straw. VERY few people "lined up" to dance with them -- like only their parents and a couple of odd people. The DJ kept making announcements trying to urge people to join in, which was super awkward and uncomfortable, but most people left the main reception room or sat awkwardly at their tables. The wedding wrapped up pretty fast after that, as a lot of people started leaving.

In the other weddings I've attended without a dollar dance? There have been many where the bride and groom spent a ton of time dancing and having fun with virtually everyone at the reception, so you don't "need" a dollar dance to interact with people. It's definitely a know your crowd kind of choice, and, like with everything, there may be consequences of your choices that you didn't intend.

It is a family tradition for us. Our parents actually told us to do it because they believe it signifies prosperity in your marriage. I personally don't think is tacky,but off course to each their own. Besides technically you are not asking your guests for anything because the idea is that only the ones who want to, do it. So you are not forcing anyone. I think, do what is best for you and what makes you happy! Hope you enjoy your big day!