What do you do when they don't show up?

Oh Amy, I always look forward to your posts

@Amy, yes, it is rude. I totally agree with that. But, it happens. OP needs to let it go. She cannot change what happened. "Confronting" those who did not come to the wedding/reception will not change anything.

Life is what it is, not what we always want it to be. It bites, but it is true.

Amy love you as usual I guess I'm just confused because they haven't said anything. It's just odd for good friends to miss out on this especially the relationship I thought we had. I've been there for all of their major milestones ie marriages, children, etc etc

Correct me if I am wrong. The OP asked "What would you do if they do not show up?" I responded and now I am a bitch?

Hmm, interesting.

Just give it a rest, everyone has read your two cents. Say it and move on.

Is she still posting? Lol anyway thanks ladies for the advice. I'm probably not going to say anything. I'm sure ill see them soon and we'll confront each other...wait I mean talk to each other hahahahha

Sigh. @ Lucky, I never wished you ill. I simply responded. You didn't like my response. Oh well. I hope your confrontation goes well.

In the meantime, congrats on your marriage.

@LuckyMe

I don't know if you've read some of my posts but at my wedding none of my family is coming except my mother and brother. I sent save the dates 10 months ago. I got some bullshit excuses that made me even more angry of why they couldn't make it. I too am so hurt. I've cried about it too much to let it bring me down anymore. You learn who your family and friends are and unfortunately you and I had to learn it like this. I am not going to confront any of mine because I don't want them to know what pain they caused me. One day they will have important life events happen and I will not show up. Sorry this happened to you.

Thanks soontobe. It is truly an eye opener. My friends would tell you I am the girl who never misses events for anyone. So it really was just hurtful because I didn't think they'd miss this especially since everyone knows how much marriage means to me. Ill see these people again of course and I'm sure it will be awkward. Sorry about your situation too, I do remember your posts.

Why not just be honest...

You could send a text "Hey, I really missed you at the wedding, and I was really bummed you weren't there."

Thought about that Stacey but I feel like why should I reach out first? So yeah that's the selfish part of me coming out.

@LuckyMe

yeah it certianly will be awkward. they should however be embarrassed because their the ones who did the wrong deed. Don't let them get to you. They don't deserve that. And thank you.

I would be pissed too and while it isn't the "end of the world" it is super rude as all these ladies have said. Just as Stacy said, I would text them an honest answer. Even though you are technically reaching out first, they will be embarrassed when they find out that you were aware of there disappearance.

There is NO excuse for no-showing and then not even apologizing after the fact. Even if it was a family emergency/death, I would send at least a text apologizing.

I would be hurt too and would say something or ask why especially since you LAID OUT MONEY for them to come. That's very insensitive for them not to come and not even apologize in person or over phone. I know if I replied yes and I knew the bride had paid $100 or whatever for my plate, and I didn't show then in good conscious, I would give them the $100. Are brides expected to lose money on the cost of plates? If 5 people don't show up, that's $500 lost. 10 people don't show $1000 lost. That's unacceptable. I feel you should ask them why they didn't show and that you were hurt and also let them know that had you known they wouldn't be able to make it, you could have saved the $200 or whatever you paid for them to come and/or invited someone else in their place.

I would send a thank you card anyway! lol Yes I'm getting tired of seeing tacky too!

Weddings are expensive & not to show after you RSVP, smh. I wouldn't ask them why because their reason wouldn't matter to me. Moving forward, they wouldn't be invited to anything else.

Was is rude of them? Yup! Should you say anything? Maybe "hey I missed you t the wedding!" But that's it. Things come up. It's life. Be hurt but move on and don't let it affect your friendships

What is up with the negativity ladies? I go away for a week and everyone is down each others throats this is like the 3rd or 4th post like this I've read.

Lucky me I see what your question is and what you're trying to figure out... it's about figuring out how to handle the friendships afterwards- especially since they barely acknowledged you after they didn't attend. If I was unable to make a friends wedding I would call her and tell her how sorry I was and ask if/when we can get together in the near future so I can give her the card I bought. Not sure if they're assuming you're on a honeymoon? I might have waited until after you got back if you were.

It's not about the wedding at all- it's about friends being crappy friends. If you would like to maintain the friendships with these people, absolutely bring it to their attention- they might not have realized how their inaction deeply hurt you. Esp if they thought they had a good excuse in their minds. Otherwise- leave it alone.

I understand why you're upset. You shelled out cash for the and they didn't even show! We had no no shows at ours, but I would have been annoyed too.

Unfortunately you can't control other people and it could have been rough for them having to miss it too.

I had an entire EMPTY table at my wedding. People were asking me what happened with that and stuff. It was my friends from work. They just didn't show. Then i came back into work on monday and it was a "oh i'm sorry i couldn't make it" I PAID FOR YOU! this is a wedding not a party that you can just decide not to come. Its not worth worrying about though. It annoyed me but its done with. I just told them i understood and let it go. (although i do work with them so i didn't have much of a choice)

Then a whole bunch of people left after dinner. By the end of the night the only people left were the out of state people who were in the hotel room.