What do you do when most of your guests do not give a gift or card?

Honestly, I don't expect a gift from anyone. Times are tough and gifts can be expensive. Yes, I would love to have a card or even a gift, but really it's about spending time with the people you love and care about on your wedding day.

That's pretty strange, and a bit rude. I would definitely bring a gift to a wedding reception like yours. I send a gift even if I can't make it to a wedding. If you're invited, the bride and groom consider you to be someone who is very special and important in their lives. If you feel the same way about them, you would at least have the courtesy to send something as simple as a card, even if times are tough.

We had a few people not bring gifts to our wedding this past weekend (I think 2 out of about 190). I thought it that was pretty strange. Maybe they'll send something later?

I wouldn't expect gifts from people who had to travel - it costs money to do so - and that would be gift enough.

Some people might consider the reception not a wedding because it's not. It's a reception. You guys were already married. I'm sure some thought about that.

I'm not expecting guests' presents to"help me" with the wedding or reception. It's my choice and I'm choosing to spend money on what I can afford. Gifts are nice, but I'm not expecting gifts from everyone and honestly won't be offended by those who don't give. I just want everyone to have a good time.

Personally, if I came to a wedding post reception I would bring a gift. Or a card or dessert or something to help out. It's a kind way to thank the host.

But I found this yesterday actually:

From

http://www.bridalguide.com/etiquette/etiquette-qas/wedding-etiquette-mistakes

"10. You have expectations for your gifts.

We all secretly hope that we’ll get those carefully-selected items on our registries or that we’ll receive enough money to make a down payment on a house. But, contrary to popular belief, wedding guests aren’t even required to give a gift — and there certainly is no minimum amount that your guests have to spend.

Also: This means that you should not include registry information with your wedding invitation. You can, however, include it with your bridal shower invite, since the primary purpose of the event is to shower the bride with gifts!"

You do nothing and get over it. Yes it's annoying but nobody is required to give you a gift. Move on with your life and stop dwelling on it

I am also going to have a small destination type wedding with only 2 close friends and immediate family. We are going to have a second reception where most of our extended family and friends live a few weeks after the wedding.

The issue with gifts is something that my future mother in law has expressed concern over. And the more I think about it, we should not expect gifts. We can offer up our registry information when people ask, and/or refer them to our website, but especially since it's an after-party, we can't expect them. The purpose of the event is to spend time with friends and family. I will be happy to get whatever we get.

Ok fine, you shouldn't EXPECT gifts. But you should still get them. It's a wedding celebration. You invite people, feed them, dance, and they bring you a gift or a card with money inside. I won't lie, I would be super annoyed. No, there's nothing you can do about it. You still send a thank you card for them coming and celebrating and what not. But I would be really really irritated if most of my guests couldn't even handle bringing a card.

Congrats on your marriage!

To answer your last question, your reception was not a "real wedding" it was a party.

I think by eloping, you kind of lost out on the big gift opportunity. I was just thinking about what I would do if I was invited to an "at-home" reception, and I think I would get a small gift. If I had to travel, maybe just a card. As a guest, I would think of it more like a party than a wedding reception. I am just being honest. I know you put a lot of time and effort into it!

The whole gift concept is really contradictory...as the bride and groom you are not supposed to expect a gift but if you are attending a wedding it is considered rude not to get the bride and groom something! So dumb!

What baybride and laudie said.

Yeah do nothing. Its too bad you didn't get anything, as the gesture is always nice. But just smile and don't worry about it.

I wouldn't send any thank you cards either.

Smile and move on. You didnt have a wedding to receive gifts, you had a wedding to commit to the one you love for life.

The whole wedding gift situation makes me cringe. I send a gift regardless if I am able to make the wedding. Just because "etiquette" is now more up-to-date and modern and people get off the hook for not sending some sort of gift does not make it right. I think it is rude.

I agree with Kate. It wasn't exactly a wedding ceremony/reception so I think people didn't think it was necessary to bring a gift.

Actual wedding or otherwise, it's like what PPs are saying: gifts would be nice but there's nothing you can do but graciously thank people for coming and move on.

I took it as hurtful, and the way that I was raised it's rude. Of course we did not have a reception for the purpose for getting money or gifts, it's counter productive because receptions are so expensive and demanding. We did not want to have a reception at all. The ceremony was for us, the reception was for everyone else. I felt like it was also rude to my parents who hosted the reception that the majority of our guests did not even sign a card, but ate the food, drank the booze, used the shuttle service provided so that they would not drink and drive, then left with their arms full of the table decorations and food stuffed into their purses. Also, by help I do not mean financially, I mean like time and effort. My aunt hand made our invitations so of course I do not expect anything from her, or my cousin who helped set up tables, or friend who tied tags on favors.

I think its rude as shit not to give a gift or at the least a card. This discussion has been done many times on here but i still feel some sort of acknowledgement of the celebration to the couple or any type of event should be given. ESPECIALLY if somebody RSVP'd, didn't go and didn't even call or anything but you still have to pay for them. Like really you can't make a call or send a congrats card, or sorry something happened and i couldn't make it.

It sucks and yes you sulk and complain about it but i just don't send them a thank you card for just showing up.

I would say less than half of my guests gave a gift... honestly it was like 20 ppl out of 100 and we weren't really expecting for everybody to give a gift in the first place. But damn it makes it seem like they just went cuz they wanted free food and drinks and didn't bother even giving a congratulations or anything and that is just BS.

My mom raised me to at least give a card if nothing else.

It might be rude the way you were raised, but if I were one of your guests, I would have thought the reception was a pretty princess day + gift grab.

Are you referring to me, Stephanie?

Oh lordy not another one of these posts?!