What do you do when most of your guests do not give a gift or card?

Gifts are nice but don't be hurt or offended because you thought people would have been more giving. Times are hard . A card would have been nice though

@Stephanie... I really don't like the "pretty princess day" label. I get where you're coming from, but it can be unnecessarily hurtful. That shit belongs on the etiquette board of a certain other wedding website..

I understand where you're coming from. Everyone is saying times are tough BUT they have cards at the dollar store. Most people aren't stuck up a-holes and as long as they get something that says "congrats" they are happy (I hope you're one of them lol). The other thing is as long as you didn't wait until 2 weeks before your reception to send out invites then people had time to get at least a card so yes its bs, IMO. Sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately all you can really do is move on.

@SunshineJen was referring to the OP's post.

@MissMadeline So I'm not allowed to post my opinion here if it's unpopular?

Look, I'm all for eloping--I wish I could do it and not spend all this money on a wedding. But if I had to travel to attend a reception for a wedding I wasn't invited to, I might not be inclined to give a gift.

I get that the OP is upset, but I bet that a lot of her guests were upset but didn't complain about the situation.

Who's the mean girl, Nafina? :/

There seems to be both sides posted here.

Pink Wednesdays!

They were invited to a renewal or celebration after, not the wedding. You cannot expect a gift. Which you shouldn't anyways. The wedding isn't about the gifts and to be hurt because you didn't get what you wanted or how much you wanted is pretty selfish...

If you're not inviting me to the whole thing you're probably not getting a whole gift either .. Just my two cents.

@Stephanie: I think she's upset because she didn't even get so much as a card though. If it were my wedding reception, I'd at least expect guests to give me a congratulatory card. There doesn't have to be anything in it of course, but the gesture of the card itself is nice.

There are a lot of brides that treat receptions and weddings like gift-receiving factories. But there are just as many guests that treat wedding receptions as free-for-alls when it comes to booze and food. I don't think either side wins this. Maybe everyone should take some etiquette lessons and just be nicer to each other.

I think the reason why these posts bother me so much, is because if we all step back from the wedding world, and realize everyone is broke. Unless you are rich, you are broke. Even if you have money in savings, you are taking away from something in order to have that savings. In that light, most of our wedding guests are broke. They probably paid as much money as they can just to travel for the wedding, or reception. To expect and/or get upset that gifts werent given, is selfish. Yes I myself wish I get gifts. Will I whine & rant about it if I dont get any - no. Because that would make me vain & selfish.

This economy, & now this shutdown, lots of people do not have the money to pay for gifts, barely have money for travel. We need to be considerate of that. As far as guest free-loading off our hostpitality, honestly that's our fault. See my point for a sec, if we dont want guests to free load, dont have a wedding. We decide to save, maybe even cause some debt, just to have a

I rarely got gifts for my birthdays so I'm expecting the same for my wedding...some people are assholes and think nothing of etiquette...

I have my good cry and then shrug it off...it hurts I know but hey it's life...

Wedding. We dont NEED at wedding. We want it, we want that celebration, even at the expense of our finances. That does not mean our guests are willing to do the same. Their love & support, them showing up at all, is gift enough. If they cant afford a gift, too bad. We as brides should not ever assume guests HAVE to give us anything. If we took the time to realize that, I think we'd be alot happier because in fact they did give a gift: they showed up.

@Stephanie: of course you should post your opinion. I just think there are more diplomatic ways of saying things.

Amy: I'm not always mad, in fact I'm in quite a good mood. I just think it's silly to worry about gifts/not getting gifts, like it's a first world problem.

Nafina, it is not a mean girls club...but I do understand your point as in everybody is struggling financially....but I however feel that' a simple card isn't that hard...it's just politeness

It may not be a huge deal to you but it is to some brides...

Andre'ya: the OP is complaining about not getting gifts. She only mentioned cards, but her majority of complaint is not getting gifts or receiving help. That's where my opinion is coming from.

If she was just upset about only not receiving congratulatory cards, that's different. That's not however, what she is implying she's upset at.

Nice exaggeration Amy.

I am not expecting gifts because I have a lot of cheap dicks in my family....hell I'm not even expecting a damn card lol...

@Nafina: point understood

It's a bit absurd to be getting so heated over this... The OP even asked in her post if the "no gift rule" applies etc. There is nothing wrong with being disappointed for not receiving a gift, we're human, it's natural... yes there are bigger problems in the world, there always will be.

People on here seem to be fighting just to fight... it's silly.

This is funny because on another not-so-nice forum I asked about how to get the word out about not wanting gifts (including cash) without putting it on the invitation I caught a lot of doo-doo.

No one should expect gifts and most everyone likes them. Cards are always nice to get too. But we cannot put our expectations on others without being disappointed.

"Build a bridge and get over it."

Re: people calling OP greedy or selfish or silly- remember that the point of these forums is for us to voice something that's bothering us without judgement. The point of being able to post things like this anonymously is to be able to say what you can't say to everyone in real life