J
Super September 2017

What about other people's weddings have left a bad impression on you?

Jenny, on April 18, 2017 at 3:36 PM

Posted in Planning 182

As I'm going through the nitty-gritty of wedding planning details in preparation for the perfect day, I found myself wondering what mistakes or oversights my guests will really notice or remember about my wedding. Thinking back on weddings where I was a guest, I was surprised at the things that...

As I'm going through the nitty-gritty of wedding planning details in preparation for the perfect day, I found myself wondering what mistakes or oversights my guests will really notice or remember about my wedding. Thinking back on weddings where I was a guest, I was surprised at the things that stuck with me:

1. The entire wedding was absolutely beautiful and elegant, but the bride looked extremely angry right before she walked down the aisle.

2. The bride felt poorly in her wedding dress during the reception dancing and disappeared for an hour with her bridesmaids. The groom acted like nothing happened and did not check up on her.

3. The wedding party got "lost" on their party bus ride, and dinner was two hours late.

4. When nothing suggested it would be an alcohol free wedding but the couple served bottles of grape juice.

5. When the invitation said 'black tie' and we were the only ones to actually show up in black tie. No one else went beyond country club casual.

182 Comments

  • Diana
    Expert October 2017
    Diana ·
    • Flag

    1. A wedding we drove 6 hours to get to. We were given the wrong ceremony start time, so we got ready and showed up an hour early. Cash bar, and were not given a heads up. Most of us didn't have any cash. HORRIBLY tacky DJ. Money dance.

    2. Again, HORRIBLY tacky DJ. I think most people underestimate how important the DJ is. Also very bad, very long speeches.

    Side note...I know some people think these posts are overly critical and judgmental, but they have been extremely helpful to me. The ceremony portion of my wedding celebration is very sacred to me and my fiance and I are doing what we want and feel is best in our hearts, but the reception is going to be an awesome party and we truly want our guests to have a GREAT time. Reading about other people's experiences have helped me prioritize certain things, and think about things I never would've considered before reading them. So, thank you for your honest input and try not to be offended when reading these!

    • Reply
  • StokedToBeASaucier
    Master September 2017
    StokedToBeASaucier ·
    • Flag

    Dry wedding, no DJ.

    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Super September 2017
    Nicole ·
    • Flag

    A wedding reception that was in a local park pavillion and had a fucking boom box for music. Also self catered pig roast. And firecrackers afterwards for "the celebration. "

    Different wedding: a slideshow of the bride and groom growing up that felt like it lasted 5 hours. And then there were the million toasts afterwards...oh and I caught the bouquet at that one, and got to have the dude who caught the garter put it on me. That wasn't awkward at all...

    • Reply
  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
    • Flag

    @Natalie - For my friends, a cake and punch reception was a 1-1:30pm ceremony, followed by ~90 minutes of cake and a dessert table with good music, good company, and comfortable chairs. Everyone was full and happy and we weren't missing a meal.

    • Reply
  • J
    Super September 2017
    Jenny ·
    • Flag

    @Nicole

    "Also self catered pig roast"

    Woah what? Can we talk about this? Like was it a whole pig with apple in mouth on a spit?!

    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    Oh man! I've been to 2 dry weddings and neither of those top my list Smiley smile I honestly should have known based on the bride and groom and their families!

    #1 - Not enough seats!! The couple fell for the idea that if you have a buffet the eating will be staggered and it will be fine and it wasn't. It sucked. DH and I got to sit down for 5 minutes to scarf down our food because 2 of his family friends took pity on us!

    #2 - No direction. This was one of the first weddings we attended right out of college, and the reception was spread out throughout multiple rooms of a country club. Huge room for dancing, and a few separate rooms where the food was spread out and there were cocktail tables and a few bars. We gravitated to the bar outside because it was so nice out, but no one came and told us that things were happening! Most of the friends of the bride and groom (myself included) totally missed the entrance, first dance, father/daughter dance, and cake-cutting. I felt like a HUGE jerk for missing the events, but we all just had no idea that cocktail hour was over and that reception events were happening! There were also open food stations from right when we arrived, and no one had any idea if it was cocktail hour or dinner so people were very confused.

    #3 - Porta Potties Smiley sad

    #4 - This one is just me being spoiled - but DH and I have started finding alternate transportation from the hotel to the wedding if we see the guest shuttle come and it's a school bus. I know that guest transportation is insanely expensive - it was the cost I had the hardest time stomaching for my wedding - and I know school buses are a cheaper option, but they almost never have AC! It stinks for both of us to get dolled up just to end up drenched in sweat and looking gross from the school bus Smiley sad

    • Reply
  • xtine
    Dedicated August 2018
    xtine ·
    • Flag

    I get that you all don't like Honeyfunds, but I don't know how on earth this is even close to as bad as no food/ dry wedding/being forced the clean up.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    VIP June 2017
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    I still don't get how a cash bar wedding is considered bad form but a cake & punch reception isn't. At least with the cash bar wedding I am getting a nice sit down meal and the option of alcohol. With the cake & punch wedding I'm just getting some cake & fruit juice. I know which I'd be less resentful of travelling to attend.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    VIP June 2017
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    I'm not saying a cash bar isn't bad form btw, just saying 'cake & punch' receptions seems worse.

    • Reply
  • bitbit
    Expert September 2017
    bitbit ·
    • Flag

    @Natalie, I know what you mean. I have only been to one wedding and it was a dry one; I would have preferred a cash bar over no alcohol at all.

    • Reply
  • Becky
    Expert January 2018
    Becky ·
    • Flag

    My FH's best friend's wedding didn't sit well with us in several ways. It technically was a DH wedding to Texas (bride from there originally, most guests traveling from FL, NY, or the Carolinas including us from FL) and we were recent grads with no money (I legit got a job offer on the phone while we were getting ready for the rehearsal dinner after being unemployed for 2-3 months when my paid internship ended).

    As FH was in the wedding party, we were TOLD (not asked, told) that we were sharing the house they rented for the wedding with the bride/groom, FOB/MOB, bride's sisters/spouses, and MOH/fiance. Groom's siblings/groomsmen stayed at the hotel with the remaining guests and FOG/MOG. We weren't told we had to help pay for the house until we were already there. It was like $500+ (well outside our budget at the time. Again I was unemployed). We eventually paid them back for it but if it were up to us, we would have found cheaper accommodations, especially because we were left Sunday afternoon after brunch while everyone else at the house stayed through Tuesday.

    Bride also told us not to rent our own car or anything, they would pick us up from the airport and since we were staying at the house together, just drive us to the wedding etc. It would have been fine but the wedding was in Austin and they were driving in from Dallas/Ft Worth first and got there several hours later than originally planned. Thankfully the groom's parents arrived at the airport shortly before we did and we got a ride (and amazing lunch) with them. (FH and groom best friends since kids, know his parents very well. All four of us went to college together though so we knew both sides). This also meant that the whole weekend we had to share the mini van with them (couple & moh/fiance)/ travel around to get set up stuff/set up break down etc. We were confined to their transportation situation/schedule with no freedom to do what we wanted or split tasks between people to finish them more efficiently. This also meant we had to get a ride to the airport from a friend to fly back.

    It was an expensive logistical frustration that's for sure. Unsure if we ever got a thank you note from that one to be honest.

    This same bride also would complain to high hell if (when) someone bought something off registry. "What's the point of a registry if you're not going to pick something from it?!" Left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Just kindly thank them for their gift and if they left you a gift receipt, then return/exchange it for something else. Don't be angry about it.

    • Reply
  • na&na
    Super November 2017
    na&na ·
    • Flag

    Oh boy... let me see...

    a) First I should give kind of a back story: where I'm from is tradition for the bride and groom to hand deliver the invites, it gives your guests (family members mostly) to spend some time with them and extend their best wishes to the couple... so, when one of my best friends from college (male) called me two days before his wedding saying he just didn't had the time to deliver all of his invites, but that he wanted us to attend and not even bother to call his planner because he already put FH and I as "attending", we assumed we were B-listed, but we went anyway since we had nothing else going... it kind of stung a bit since we pretty much lived in each other's houses during college and still are very much in touch (I told FH I rather him not inviting us than getting a call 2 days prior), anyways, we got there at the same time as our other study partner and her DH and on our way in, they tolds us she got the same call right after mine, but her DH found out through a mutual friend that his "story" was untrue... only we also weren't B-listed... the bride told him her mom called us and WE said we weren't going to make it, and on the day of our calls, one of the bride's brothers were looking for something in the back of their mom's car and found about 5 invitations there and that's how he found out we never got them!!. Needless to say they divorced after 2 years when he found out her bride knew about it

    b) different wedding, not enough food at a friend's wedding, when the buffet was set up, people started to LITERALLY fight to get some food, FH was able to get only a slice of meat before some woman pushed him out of the buffet line, and with the help of another friend's DH I was able to get 3 slices and 3 buns (thankfully we all sat at the same table with my parents so we combined what we could get), it was a beautiful wedding but being pushed by strangers for food left a bad taste

    c) FH's cousin's wedding, that I keep referring to whenever someone here asks if they should do a seating chart, we got a table thanks to FH's mom who at the time was already in a wheelchair so we had to leave the ceremony before the I Do's were over to get a parking space near the entrance. It really felt horrible to see there were people just standing there waiting for a place to sit while others were already dinning

    • Reply
  • Mandy
    Devoted October 2017
    Mandy ·
    • Flag

    A few things that happened at the weddings I went to last summer (when I really started paying attention to details) bridal party left the location for pictures and ended up being late so dinner wasnt served until an hour later which means dinner was served after 8pm, we were starving by that point. One wedding was buffet and one was plated. I much more preferred the buffet because I was able to take as much as I wanted. The plated serving was a very small amount and we were still hungry.

    • Reply
  • Bemyguest
    Master April 2017
    Bemyguest ·
    • Flag

    @Natalie True cake and punch weddings aren't held at mealtimes, they are held between 2-4 pm. So lunch or dinner isn't expected.

    Cash bars are gross because you shouldn't make your guests pay for things during the reception.

    • Reply
  • Erin
    Expert July 2017
    Erin ·
    • Flag

    Not having a table assignments at the reception. I hate open seating! People squeeze too many around a table, or someone if left sitting with strangers bc they couldn't fit with friends

    • Reply
  • PopTart
    Devoted April 2018
    PopTart ·
    • Flag

    Totally wasn't the bride and groom's fault, but I went to a very posh rooftop wedding during which the water got shut off to the building. So, no water available at the bar, no toilet-flushing, no hand washing. And then, as if responding to our plea for water, the sky opened up and it started raining sideways. So weird to be soaked but parched at the same time.

    • Reply
  • Shows2017
    Super September 2017
    Shows2017 ·
    • Flag

    DRY WEDDING

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Super October 2017
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    "Reception" was in the grass of the church with platters of cold cuts (without ice, in August) laying out in the sun

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    VIP June 2017
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    'True cake and punch weddings aren't held at mealtimes, they are held between 2-4 pm. So lunch or dinner isn't expected.' Is it literally just cake and punch? Are there at least some canapés floating around usually? And I'd still love a drink at an afternoon wedding. A dry wedding serving just cake & juice just wouldn't fly where I'm from (Australia.)

    • Reply
  • Must Love Cats
    Master October 2017
    Must Love Cats ·
    • Flag

    No thank you card sent after wedding or even shower, long gap between ceremony and reception, not enough food, small portion of food, crappy music, no thank you for coming by the couple, crappy favors, no favors.

    • Reply

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