J
Super September 2017

What about other people's weddings have left a bad impression on you?

Jenny, on April 18, 2017 at 3:36 PM

Posted in Planning 182

As I'm going through the nitty-gritty of wedding planning details in preparation for the perfect day, I found myself wondering what mistakes or oversights my guests will really notice or remember about my wedding. Thinking back on weddings where I was a guest, I was surprised at the things that...

As I'm going through the nitty-gritty of wedding planning details in preparation for the perfect day, I found myself wondering what mistakes or oversights my guests will really notice or remember about my wedding. Thinking back on weddings where I was a guest, I was surprised at the things that stuck with me:

1. The entire wedding was absolutely beautiful and elegant, but the bride looked extremely angry right before she walked down the aisle.

2. The bride felt poorly in her wedding dress during the reception dancing and disappeared for an hour with her bridesmaids. The groom acted like nothing happened and did not check up on her.

3. The wedding party got "lost" on their party bus ride, and dinner was two hours late.

4. When nothing suggested it would be an alcohol free wedding but the couple served bottles of grape juice.

5. When the invitation said 'black tie' and we were the only ones to actually show up in black tie. No one else went beyond country club casual.

182 Comments

  • MrsBanks
    Expert April 2018
    MrsBanks ·
    • Flag

    Rude staff

    • Reply
  • na&na
    Super November 2017
    na&na ·
    • Flag

    Oooohhhh... I know I've already wrote on this thread... but FH just reminded me about his brother's wedding... they only served appetizers (not THAT of a big deal) but they hired a friendor, and yep... yo can imagine. It was a nightmare, they paid her for X ammount and she only made like half that so there wasn't enough food

    • Reply
  • Bemyguest
    Master April 2017
    Bemyguest ·
    • Flag

    @Natalie I mean, a lot of couples still do wine and beer and a signature drink, or mimosas or something. Oftentimes there are light passed apps. I don't think there's as much of a standard for a cake and punch reception.

    • Reply
  • T Marie
    Super October 2017
    T Marie ·
    • Flag

    Mine is simple. No thank you cards. That really gets to me. Drove 4 hours to my cousin's wedding & never received a thank you card. Nor did they go around to say hi to the guests. Smh.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    VIP June 2017
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    Can I nominate all those awful Duggar family weddings? One of the girls had their 'reception' in the parking lot on a freezing cold winter day. They served icecream instead of cake (nothing else on offer.) The family is loaded and her dress looked like it cost a bomb. They also went on a honeymoon to Paris.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    VIP June 2017
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    Ha yes! They have all been shit shows but I thought Jinger's was probably the better of the three ( she at least had an indoor reception with some appetizers.) The amount of people they invite is just absurd.

    • Reply
  • AprilR
    VIP May 2018
    AprilR ·
    • Flag

    I haven't gone yet, but I was invited to one this July. It was addressed to FH and I knowing that he will still be deployed so I will be going alone and I won't know anyone other than the bride and groom. They are having a private ceremony so I'm only invited to the reception. The reception bar is tiered. Only certain people can have certain drinks and have to have special glasses assigned. They put everyone on a FB group and told us about their honeyfund. It's all outside and in the middle of July in the south. Excited to go (I am going because she is a good friend)

    • Reply
  • Brian
    Savvy July 2017
    Brian ·
    • Flag

    A friends wedding in college. We had been friends since kinder, but throughout college we began going separate ways. Anywho...

    I was never asked to be in the BP which is fine because I would have declined due to many reasons), but I was seated at the BP table anyway, AWAY FROM WHO I CAME WITH. Our childhood friends and family were seated in the "bridal suite" which was located upstairs and behind a glass wall. You could literally see only half the floor below and hear NOTHING. She over invited people, "because his family won't come from out of the country" but they did, therefore they had to make room the day of.

    Buffet style food, not nearly enough for all of her guests. The childhood friends we grew up with ended I leaving about an hour and a half into the reception to go get food from a local restaurant.

    The tables were located on the dance floor, so when dancing started, you had to maneuver around the tables somehow.

    Just thinking about this one gets my blood boiling.

    • Reply
  • J
    Beginner October 2020
    Jada ·
    • Flag

    Went to a wedding last year with no dinner, only hors d'oeuvres for cocktail hour and sweets during the reception. It was 6 in the evening!

    • Reply
  • Grace
    VIP June 2018
    Grace ·
    • Flag

    Facebook invite to a wedding, asked bride what the dress was (out of town // 5 hour drive) and she said cocktail attire, whatever I would wear to a wedding normally. I shit you not the bride had a camo ribbon belt and the BM wore camo tube tops - for a February wedding... and jeans, and GM and Groom himself all wore jeans with blaze orange vests. The only person wearing a suit was my FH (first wedding we ever went to together) and the pastor. They had a potluck reception at the VFW and a cash bar. We didn't stay long, we went back to the hotel, went swimming, and ordered pizza.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree. We are all trying our best to put together a joyous day for our weddings and there is too much judgement.

    • Reply
  • Holly
    Dedicated September 2021
    Holly ·
    • Flag

    This whole thread has me worried sick.

    I am doing a cash bar. This is because my family are big drinkers and sometimes it gets out of control. That seemed like a way to mitigate it. Thank you to whoever commented that they would attend a cash bar reception over a dry one.

    There will be a gap between ceremony and reception. It is important that nothing is rushed on the day of. I want to have some time with DH after and too much go-go-go is anxiety inducing for me as well as a lot of the people who are attending. Plus, pictures.

    It will be a smaller wedding, so I will have a chance to go around and hug everyone and talk with them. I think it will be fine. Some of these things aren't indicative of "bad hosts". We absolutely love putting things together for friends and family (and are good at it) but didn't want to overdo it because of the budget. I got some great tips reading all thesse!

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    Lots of good advice to garner

    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    1. When FH wasn't invited even though we were in a long term relationship
    2. Cash bar
    3. Plated dinner that took 3 hours 4. Being given a very specific dress code by the bride that mentioned avoiding "skanky" looks5. Being asked to contribute to a honeyfund (for a honeymoon they never took) 6. Not being greeted by the couple 7. Wedding party entrances. Yikes. 8. Black tie weddings that aren't black tie (and frankly formal weddings that aren't formal) 9. Registering for new cell phones or laptops
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    I forgot the worst one! The phone bowl. This needs to not be a thing anymore
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I still can’t believe the phone bowl!
    It had to have been a really big bowl, right? And phones look so much alike, there is so much room for error in getting yours back. And of course many people do work on their phones - I have several apps that are for work. I’d have some issues at work if I lost my phone and the reason was the phone bowl!
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    It was a very large basket more than a bowl haha. But it took a while for us all to get our phones back. I believe I had a work phone at the time too, and looking back I should have NEVER put that thing in a phone bowl
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Our ISO is wipe happy and I’d be so mad LOL
    • Reply
  • Christy
    Devoted April 2022
    Christy ·
    • Flag
    Went to a wedding where we were all seated & ready for the ceremony to begin. About 15 minutes after, we were informed that the groom’s sister had been in a car accident & would be late. We switched to cocktail hr and mingled for about another hour +. I thought the couple did the best they could under the circumstances. I was happy his sister was unharmed. And I’ve never really thought about it again until now. I have never received a “thank you” card from any wedding I’ve attended. Didn’t care about that either.


    I am not a fan of dry weddings. Not a fan of boozy guests either. Not a fan of potlucks. Not a fan of outdoor weddings or long religious ceremonies. But I am there to show my support for the couple & I don’t consider myself a hostage.

    Future brides: Do the best that you can with whatever budget/resources/desires you have. It is in fact YOUR day! You will not be able to please everyone, so don’t try too hard to do that. You will have plenty of guests that aren’t criticizing every last detail of your wedding. If you invite ppl who truly care about you & your FH, hopefully they will be understanding if/when things go wrong.
    • Reply
  • J
    Beginner October 2021
    Jen ·
    • Flag

    An outdoor wedding in Arizona in June!!! I'm pretty sure the bride was from either Vermont or New Hampshire, so she might not have realized how hot Arizona can be. But still it was so hot, everyone was very exhausted and thirsty afterwards. I felt like my makeup was melting. It was 100+ that day.

    • Reply

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