Well, my dad isn't coming to the wedding...

I am so sorry! My friend's dad walked out on her mom 3 weeks before the wedding... Poor Holly was a mess. Her dad was invited to the ceremony but not the reception.

I like the fact that tour grandma is walking you down the isle. How about mother-daughter dance?

Just remember there are many people tha care for you and love you. And don't let your DB father get to you! You deserve better!

@ Oksana, my grandfather is walking me down the aisle, not my grandmother, but she does deserve it way more, lol! Thank you though!

STB: honestly, I can relate to you having drama with BOTH your parents then lol. My mom has had her own serious and separate issues. My parents have been divorced since I was 1. If you ever need a dysfunctional shoulder, I'm totally here Keep your head up, your wedding will be absolutely wonderful and I'm sure you won't think twice about ANY of this drama!!!

@ Lauren, thank you very much! It's tough growing up in a family in which both of your parents are so self absorbed. The thing though is not turning out like them, that's is my main goal. So if anything, their crappy parenting has taught me how not to parent my children.

Well I'm having my own father issues right now as well... my father is threatening not to walk me down the aisle inless my FH ask for my hand in marriage... we are paying for our own wedding and already live together IMO soooo not nessacary. Now as far as your situations there is a few ways you can look at this. Though it is not right how your father is treating you and I would agree he will come to regret it. You would not be the strong person you are today without those circumstances. See getting married is an opportunity to leave the past as the past. If you don't want a future relationship with your father then I agree your grandfather should be the man that walks you down the aisle it is a privlage that shouldn't be taken lightly. Though if you are hopeful that you and your father can repair your "adult" relationship I would consider letting him walk you down the aisle its unfortuate that sometimes as children we have to take the first steps forward when the "adults" cant.

Just my 2 cents.

Don't worry... sorry you had to go through that! I'm sure you grandfather will be proud to walk you. BTW, my children are 20 and 18 and I help them with everything! including my daughter's horse, I pay for the board and she pays for her food! Even if they are grown, they are still my kids and I will always help them.

Lol Jennifer, my dad tried to throw a hissy fit because my FH didn't ask his permission.. Literally, posting shizz all over my FB (mind you the day we got engaged!!) how my engagement can't be possible unless he asks the father's permission.. I kept deleting them and finally I snapped on him saying I didn't want him to ask permission and we aren't old fashioned so what did it matter.. Never again did he give me any grief..

My brother thinks its a slap in the face that I'm having my father walk me down the aisle.. I compromised and am having both my parents walk me down, but the way I see it is, I know my father, he's tried to right his wrongs, and he's still close to me now, so why can't he walk me down the aisle?

STB: I truly understand how you feel. FH looks at me when my mom does something messed up now and goes you promise me you aren't going to be like her?!! I may have her looks, but I'm nothing like my mother lol!!

@ Jennifer, I understand what your saying, but I honestly can't give him that privilege, because he doesn't deserve it & if I were to let him do it, he would in his mind, win, & therefore no chance of him regreting his actions later & possibly, maybe changing. Yes, I could rise above, but I have too much rage to do so. It's not something I could even consider. Plus, my grandfather deserves it & there's no reason to punish him by not letting him do what he deserves. & yes, I am the person I am today because of my crappy family, but I still could've been as strong as I am with them being good parents too, lol! Thank you for your opinon!

@ Mabel, that's the attitude parents are supposed to have. These are your children, you brought them into this world, take reponsibility & be a good parent. & thank you!

@ Lauren, if my dad had've brought up that issue, I think I would've slapped him! He hasn't even offered his hand to FH, meaning he hasn't shaken his hand in the entire 4 years we've been dating! It's horrible! & no, I'm nothing like my mother either. That was a big deal when I was living at home, he would look at me & no matter what I did, I was being my mother. It was horrible.

It's a shame your relationship isn't stronger with your father. I am planning my wedding without my father as he passed away in 2007. He and I were very close and not having him at my wedding makes me very sad. I know he is looking from above and approving, but I would give anything for him to be there.

@ Dawn, I'm sorry that your father can't be there for your wedding, but atleast you have good memories of your father. That's the most important thing.

I'm sorry to hear about your father that is terrible all the way around. My dad is coming to my wedding but my step dad is giving me away. I agree that is a privilege and not a right, which is why he is not doing it. I invited him and his new wife whom I don't know at all..he dropped that ball on me the night before I got engaged actually that he was even seeing anybody..then a few months later he got married at the courthouse, seems little fishy but oh well.

@ Brittainy, I guess I didn't know how common this was, but atleast I have yall here to help me!

Unfortunately it seems to be more and more common. For sure i'm here if you need to talk/vent

Being divorced, I can never understand why parents can't behave like adults for the sake of the children. I have 2 daughters....23 and 15. The ex left when my 15 year old was 3 months old for another woman, he is no longer with. The ex always took care of the girls financially, as he had no choice...good lawyer! He has not always been the best father, but I never put him down to the girls. Imho...it only makes the kids feel badly about themselves. Anywhoo, my 23 will marry in 2012. The ex is paying for the marriage, as it is "his pleasure" and he didn't help out at all with college(the FH and I did that) However, my daughter was adamant about having both of us walk her down the aisle. Either way, I would have been okay with her decision, as it is hers to make.

Your father will regret what he has done some day. Don't let their petty sh..t ruin your day. You are strong because of your experiences. It makes you who you are. Your day will be wonderful.

Oh ....re asking for hand....my father is 72, and the FH is 62(I am 49). We are of Italian descent....of course the FH asked my father for my hand. And no, my father will not be paying for my wedding. I wouldn't expect it, as he paid for the first one. Some families have strong histories of this tradition, others don't. There is no right or wrong, it is all what is best for you!

@ Brittainy, thank you!

@ Carole, thank you!

Ugh my dad did something similar he acted all nice (after barely talking to me for a few years) once we announced our engagement, we wanted to fly out where I live to be there and "nothing was too good" for me blah blah, but once I told him he wasn't walking me down the aisle he turned on dime and said "well Im not coming then" BS. It sucks but your grandmother is right it'll hit him one day and he'll have to live with that guilt, not you.

@ Grey, I'm sorry that happened to you. I really hope they do get it one day.