Well, according to my mom I am a snob. I don't think I can take this much longer.

She basically threw them at me, told me I need to be nicer to my sisters & that I'm being a snob.

So since I want the wedding to be the way FH & I want, I'm a snob. Later on my sisters were wispering to each other about the wedding - I was in the room with them! They didn't say anything to me except that later in the evening we would need to talk about the wedding, even though it didn't happen. It seems that they want me to sit there & do as they say & have the wedding the way they want it.

When I got home I just started crying. FH asked what was wrong (he thought he had done something!). I told him. He said to f*ck 'em. And asked if I wanted him to talk to them. I said no.

I cannot go through the next 4 months of dealing with & hearing this crap. FH told me that his family loves me, that he loves me. He thinks my sisters are jealous & my mom just has money worries & what my sisters are saying bothers her (so she somehow ends up taking it out on me?). (cont)

My mom hasn't taken my side on any of this. It's all "listen to you sisters" & so on & so forth. I'm ready to just elope. FH says I must really love him to go through all this just to marry him. And I do! It's just a BUNCH of bs.

....slap your sisters? God, this is maeks me so angry... I'll slap em for you... D:

Are your sisters or your mom paying for the wedding? If so, you may have to either turn down their contributions or deal with things being the way they want them.

If they are not paying, you are free to ignore them. Stop talking about the wedding at all with them. If they ask about anything wedding-related, your answer can be either, "Oh, that's interesting. I'll think about that," or "Thank you for your asking, but I have that taken care of already." And then change the subject. They can't complain about what they don't know about.

Can you use what you want to use, and just not use other stuff.

If they found you free beads for the vases you can get your money back for yours and use it someplace else.

I think just because you "listen" to them, doesn't mean you need to "DO" what they suggest.

Don't let it get to you. Good Luck!

One of my sisters bought the flower girl dresses. That's it. So far I've bought everything else.

Is it JUST the officiant that is not booked, or is it the venue that's not booked as well? Just curious since an officiant can be hard to come by, and most places do book months in advance.

I could see why a mom would worry about money troubles even if she's not paying for anything. You are her daughter and almost all moms worry about everything!

On the sisters, sounds like they are a bit jealous. Are any of them married? If not, that could be reason one. If any of them are, then maybe to them, you stink at planning simply because it is not how they did theirs. That and they are your sisters! I know I ALWAYS had differences with mine! I have two and both are older. One, I mesh well with, and the other, not so much! But I'm sure if they were more involved in the planning of our wedding, they would disagree with how I am doing some of it. My sister that I do not mesh well with is getting married a month and a half after me. Cont.

She comes across as kind of jealous and maybe pissed that I am getting married before her. She's been engaged for less than a year, and I have been engaged for almost 4! So I just ignore the vibe I get and haven't really told her sh*t about my planning! I have ran across a few cute things and sent pics her way, but she just seems to have a kind of snooty reply. It rolls off just like the water on a ducks back!

It's just the officiant that's not booked. In terms of money worries & my mom, FH meant she's worried about herself paying her bills. Both sisters have been married, one is divorced. The one who is divorced got married in our parent's living room. The other one got married in a church & then had the reception in their garage.

I think tomorrow I'm gonna ask FH if we can just elope.

Maybe they view your wedding as a way to get the one they REALLY wanted.

I agree it sounds like their jealous. Maybe their weddings weren't what they wish it had been like FMrs. K said. Still they dont need to take it out on you. Just ignore them, dont talk about the wedding with them and give it some time to work itself out. Thats my moto with my family, you can't control what their feeling and their actions. You can only control your own!So choose not to allow them to affect you by annoying the crap out of you You don't need the drama with now for sure!

Heather, book your officiant!

My mom is like that, she picks and picks at everything I do until I want to scream. I've found the easiest thing to do is say, "Mom, what is this REALLY about? It's not like you to be so harsh over something so petty." (Even though that's a lie - it's totally like her to be harsh over petty stuff.)

Since that opens the door to an Uncomfortable Conversation About Feelings, Mom immediately shuts down and changes the subject.

Try it and let me know how it goes. They may come back with something like, "WE just want to make sure you have a nice wedding," at which point you say something like, "I can't imagine a nicer wedding than one where my family supports me." It'll break 'em to bits.

They're playing checkers with your feelings. You're smart enough to play chess.

Why, yes, I'm a mastermind. Why do you ask?

Totally agree with Bella. Don't let their poor attitudes ruin your day. Simply tell them you just want support and for them to be as excited as you are

Heather please do not elope. Have the wedding you want and can afford. If you want to elope because that is what you want, then that's fine. But do not elope because they are doing this to you. You will regret that.

I COMPLETELY agree with Shannon on this one! Have your answers ready and roll with them. Shut down their wedding talk. Have new topics to discuss on the ready so that when they are whispering you can interrupt it with a question about something TOTALLY different. But have the wedding you want to have.

Finally, just want to say that I know it feels horrible not to have the support of your support system! But, you can do this. You have FH, us, and maybe others who you can turn to right now. Lean on those you know have YOUR best interest/desires at heart.

Some of the best answers were suggested by 2d bride, thank you for the idea, I have to think about that. I want to run it by FH first. Nice idea but it is already taken care of.

Thanks everyone. I know we won't elope because I still want everyone else to be at the wedding (the rest of my family & his). Yeah, I've learned pretending to be distracted/doing something else when my sisters are talking about the wedding doesn't help. They just end up whispering or are like, "Oh well she's not listening" and continues on. It's just a little hard when I tell them that I've bought something & they act like it's not good enough (dress: "Oh we'll find something somewhere"; RB box: "We can get a little pillow & add stuff to it") so telling them that something is taken care of just goes in one ear & out the other. I don't know. FH said that I shouldn't talk to them for a while. I think I won't go visiting for a couple weeks. Because every week that I do, this happens.

@bella ~ OMG if I gain weight from the stress (which if I gain any more I won't fit into the dress) I will kill them! LOL!

Http://www.decidio.com/

Great site for searching for vendors. THEY Contact/COME To YOU. For example click on officiant on the left side, put in your city and state... You will get a list... if you see one that you would like to contact you, click on their name/picture, then hit the free price quote... Then it pulls up the survey on what to answer about your day, put in your budget, size of event, and it has notes for you to type a little something if you like... and leave the "Also request quotes from competing Officiants". box checked... that is how I got 5 others contact me and then just signed the best priced one. 3 contacted me within the first 5 hrs! Got mine for $200.

It also lets you ask for quotes of all other things - hair, make-up, limo, etc...

@Hayley ~ Thanks. We're planning on having it at his grandma's & having the guy who did their vow renewal marry us (they were married 49 years before his grandpa died). We just haven't got his number yet & called him. I'll make sure it gets done Monday or Tuesday (FH's days off).

I do need to get more quotes for rentals. For the food we're just having cake, veggies, crackers & cheese & stuff to make sandwiches. Well, and drinks of course.

I'm gonna make sure my hair is cut for the wedding, styling I'm not sure of. Make up, if I wear any I'll probably do my one since I don't wear any too often. No limo.

Plan behind their backs? When I was planning my "original" wedding with my fiance I had done the majority of the planning by myself and had it done because my mom was too busy fussing around with my sister and her pregnancy to notice. When my mom did make the time to touch base with my wedding it was all did you do x? yup got that done back in July. did you get y and z figured out? yup. B and I took care of it when he came up to visit last time. Planning when no one is looking is a good way to go!