Wedding planning resentment

You've gotten a lot done in a short amount of time. But I agree with you that your future spouse's lack of participation sounds frustrating and might be a sign of bigger problems to come (marriage involves/should involve a lot of teamwork/cooperation and communication).

First I would make a list of all the things you still need and then really look at that list to see what are deal breakers. You don't actually need save the dates (although I realize it would be disappointing to have spent money on them and not use them), so maybe just focus on invitations. And nothing bad will happen to your wedding if he doesn't speak to his best man (that is, a best man is not a requirement to get married; if he doesn't have a wedding party, he doesn't have a wedding party).

Plenty of people will say that men just don't care about wedding planning so it doesn't matter if he doesn't "help", but I don't think that kind of thinking makes sense in real life. In your reality, his attitude is causing resentment. And resentment can build and actually break up relationships. So it's important to find a way through this together. When does your pre-Cana start? I'm not Catholic so don't know what-all that entails, but I gather there's some element of relationship counseling. Might some of these issues be worked through then? If not, then look into some other kind of relationship counseling to address the gaps in your priorities.

I truly wish you the best of luck.

"Divide and conquer" is an excellent strategy, but it only counts as teamwork if both team members are engaged and agree to what needs to be done and who will do what. So, if you can have a task oriented (sorry, I'm actually a project manager!) conversation with your future spouse with that list of things that ABSOLUTELY needs to get done (set any nice to haves or extras aside for now), and get him to see and understand the big picture (we are getting married on X date, yay!) and details, then you might get the cooperation you need.

It's fair that he doesn't yet know how to plan a wedding (but I assume you weren't born knowing this either), but if he isn't willing to learn, especially considering he was pushing for the timing and the place, then that would be a relationship red flag.

I wouldn't be quick to consider it indicative of a bigger problem.

Just something to consider... you have done a lot in a very short time span. You've booked the venue, caterer, cake, photographer, DJ, and everything is in motion for the ceremony. Most people spend four months doing all of that, not four weeks.

Maybe he's just exhausted.

Maybe he didn't realize it was going to be this much work, especially not in such a short time span, and now he's tired and doesn't want to deal with it.

It sucks that you feel the way you do, but it will be important to meet each other where you are, both now and in marriage. Make sure that when you are talking to him about this, it isn't just "I feel like you aren't doing this." The way you said "I've talked to him about it and he just agrees he needs to do better and validates me" makes me wonder how these conversations are being approached. It sounds more like he's on damage control ("you're right, I need to do better.") I'm not saying this is definitely what is happening - I'm just reading what you presented and making suggestions from that. You said he's validated your feelings - have you validated his? Do you know what they are? Have you given him a genuinely open and safe space to express them to you where you won't get frustrated at him?

Make sure "I've talked to him about it" is really "we are having a discussion about this." Conversations should always be two-way streets. If you have been approaching him like "I don't feel like you are initiating conversations about planning," try instead, "what are some hang-ups you feel like you are encountering with planning the wedding?" There's no need to have talks about what he isn't doing - this just comes across as accusatory, hence responses like "you're right, I know I should do better." Instead, offer the floor for him to express how he's feeling. Maybe filling out STD envelopes is a daunting task to him (the important thing to remember about other people's feelings is you don't get to decide if they are valid or not! See again: genuinely open safe space where he can express them without you getting frustrated.) Maybe he doesn't really know how to talk to his best man (obviously this isn't something he's ever done before.)

Offer him the grace that maybe... he wants to be married, and while he wants a wedding in concept, the execution is overwhelming.

Good luck.