My fiance and I are getting married next year and I really would like to have a professional photographer at the wedding but he doesn't seem very happy with how much they cost even If I'm offering to pay for it. He suggested to have a friend who does photographer on the side to have our pictures taken but I'm not very happy with that.
I thought about talking to the photographer I really like and ask her if she would give him a different /lower pricing but I'll pay the rest without him knowing. For example if she is charging $2500 tell him she is charging $1500 and I pay the rest up front. I know it sounds weird and maybe no one would do that but something I thought about and wonder if anyone has gone through the same thing?
I would not lie about the cost. Because if he finds out he might be extremely upset.
I would show him a video made by Jamie Wolfer (who I LOVE!!!). It's called "Wedding Friendors: The Good, The Bad, and The Hacks to Do It Right". It talks about all the issues that come with using friendors.
Let him know that your photos are the things that you will be able to look back on for years to come.
I wouldn't ask her to do that. I suggest instead talking with your fiance to come up with a number that you both would agree on for photography cost, and telling him that you'd be willing to cover the extra cost of anything over that amount. In a marriage, you'll need to talk things out and compromise. I wouldn't ask someone else to lie so you can avoid the conversation.
Discuss both his concerns and your concerns about the photography situation, and work to come up with a solution.
Agree with the other comments - do not lie; you both need to be on the same page with how much things cost and what you're comfortable with.
Wedding planning comes with a lot of sticker shock and hard conversations about finances. Photography is something that I really wanted to invest in, but I had no idea how much it would cost. Once I did some research, I explained to FH why photography was so important to me, what the prices were like in our area, and we came up with a number we were comfortable with.
For a lot of our vendors, any time I would tell FH how much something was, his initial reaction was typically "What?! It's how much?" followed by my explanation of why. But we always came to an agreement.
I would take the time to explain to your FH why hiring a friend isn't a good idea (there are plenty of stories on here, but in general, you don't want a friend working for you, especially if there's not going to be an actual contract) and why a professional photographer is an important investment to you.
I'm not sure what the rest of your wedding will look like or what you have planned, but a lot of photographers are now offering micro/minimony packages for like 4 hours instead of the typical 8 or 10+, which can help with cost.
Never lie about anything to do with the wedding - it's certainly starting your marriage off on the wrong foot.
There are a few things:
1. Talk to your FH. Photographs and videography are really the only tangible things to remember your wedding by - ask why he is upset with the cost of getting high quality photos (better than you can get with a "good family camera person").
2. See if you can get a smaller package
3. See if you can cut other things to meet the budget (favors are a good thing to eliminate)
4. See if you can find a different photographer for less
Never ever lie about the cost of something regarding your wedding especially something as big as a photographer because he's bound to find out & that's not how you want to start your marriage. You both need to sit down & come up with a realistic budget for this because even if you say you're paying for it, you're still going to be married & he's going to wonder/worry about your finances. It's understandable that he's not happy with the cost because my fiancé is also unhappy with the amount a photographer generally costs although we both agreed to keep the cost down as much as we can. You can have high quality pictures without the high quality price, something that costs a lot doesn't mean it's worth that much. Look at different photographers, packages, and even their hours because I'm sure you both can come up with something.
I'll echo PPs - DO NOT LIE! It's not a good place to start your marriage.
Professional photos were one of the things that were most important to us, because we can look back at beautiful photos and remember what a great time it was. If you have a friend do them, what do you do when he doesn't give you pictures or when the pictures don't turn out or when he does give you pictures, but only 50 (when you would get 100s from a professional)? My parents had my mom's uncle take the photos at their wedding (granted it was the dark ages of film cameras) - they ended up with fewer than 10 pictures, because his film was old. So, you won't have a film problem, but what happens when the files are corrupted.
You're paying for the photographer's experience, training, and the fact that they'll have top of the line equipment.