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Tiffany
Expert June 2012

Wedding party decorum

Tiffany , on October 29, 2011 at 4:14 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16

Just wondering...would it be totally wrong NOT to have all of my sisters in my wedding? Here's the scenario: it has never been my thing to have a large group of "girlfriends". I've always been content with the few close friends that I have (and I only have about 3). I have four sisters (one passed away in 2005) and FH threw out the idea of me putting his sister in the wedding. That's just too many folks!!!! My idea was to have only one maid of honor, a junior bridesmaid, and a flower girl. Too few people? What should I do?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Shannon S., on October 31, 2011 at 10:23 AM
  • Cookie
    Super September 2012
    Cookie ·
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    I am not having either of my sisters in the wedding, but I am having my sister in law. I am not close to either of my sisters so I do not want them up there with me. I want those I am close with to be there.

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  • Linda E: Fairy Godmother
    Master September 2012
    Linda E: Fairy Godmother ·
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    It's your wedding - have the bridal party be as small as you like. You can always give your sisters other ways to be included such as a day of coordinator, guest book, cake cutter, ask one or two to do a reading, etc.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    FSIL could be a groomswoman, since she's closer to your FI than to you. You could then have your three close friends as attendants, and explain it to your sisters as your not wanting to have more than three attendants, and not wanting to choose among your sisters. Of course, if you want fewer than three adult attendants, you'll have to choose among your friends and your sisters.

    We actually had two attendants for the two of us. (We never did quite figure out which attendant was for which of us.) But we had it easy, since my two children were our natural attendants.

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  • Ednabug
    Master December 2011
    Ednabug ·
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    I have 2 sisters and neither of them are in my bridal party. I'm using my 4 best friends

    I say go for how you feel.

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  • Tiffany
    Expert June 2012
    Tiffany ·
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    Thanks for all of your advice ladies! It has helped me sort through things. I do love my sisters dearly (and my FSIL too), but I think I will be finding odd jobs for them to do throughout the ceremony. I went gown shopping today, and I saw a large bridal party arguing about what dress was best suited for them to wear. The poor bride looked like she wanted to cry! Lol. It's not that I think they would behave that way, I just have never really liked crowds. I guess I just wanted to save myself as much headache as possible!!!!

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  • Spring Bride
    Expert March 2012
    Spring Bride ·
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    I think it is absolutely fine. My cousin is my MOH, my two nieces are Jr BMs and that is it for my bridal party. None of my friends are BMs, no flower girl etc. I do have one of my close friends doing a reading. Everyone knows I want a smaller wedding and honestly are pleased they don't have to buy dresses etc Smiley smile but get to enjoy the wedding and reception!

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  • Tiffany
    Expert June 2012
    Tiffany ·
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    Great idea Spring Bride! I love it! Thanks!

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Do what you want, but do suggest that your FSIL stand on his side!

    One of my brides is doing this cool thing because she doesn't want a big bridal party, but they have 10 close friends/siblings. They are all going to walk down the aisle in couples, 5x2, holding a flower garland that will stretch the length of the aisle. The bride will walk in between the garlands, and the couple will walk out between them. During the wedding, those people will sit on the ends of the aisle. I'll talk somewhere in the ceremony about the meaning of a Lei ceremony, which this is loosely based upon. I think it's going to be great!

    Big fan of small bridal parties.....

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  • Tiffany
    Expert June 2012
    Tiffany ·
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    Celia Milton, has anyone ever told you that you are a genius? I am Googling "Lei ceremony" now!

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    If you need the script, just let me know Tiffany; I'll send you the last one I wrote for a couple who got married on the Jersey shore. I am going to have to adjust it a bit, because it's meant as more of a presentation, but it speaks about the individual beauty of each flower being magnified by all the flowers around it. I just loved the idea of them walking down the aisle in the symbolic company of all their friends, but they really didn't want to have a big bridal party because they are a very understated couple and they felt that all the fanfare of a huge party would be uncomfortable for them. (I am trying to convince them to also present leis to their mothers and possibly to each other; it's a ceremony that exists in many cultures besides a Hawaiian one.)

    Another idea that I used recently was to do a 'wedding wisdom' ceremony just after the pronouncement. Each relative (this particular couple had eight important aunts/sisters/brothers) picked a two sentence piece of advice

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Some were funny; some touching, all were just very cool. At the end of the kiss and the clapping, I introduced this by saying that once a couple is married, everyone seems to have gems of wisdom for them. Each family member stood up and read their little reading, and then deposited the decorative card in a pretty basket that was passed by the flower girl (she was an older girl, maybe 11 or so). At the cocktail hour, the eight decorative cards were slipped into little silver frames and surrounded the guest book.

    This particular couple let their readers pick their own readings, but just asked that they were movie quotes, since they are both total film nuts. It was very, very fun.

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  • Tiffany
    Expert June 2012
    Tiffany ·
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    Wow! I like both of those ideas! Please send me script if you can. I would appreciate it very much.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Please email me your email addy at *****@***********.***

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  • FutureMrsB (Aussie Bride!)
    VIP September 2013
    FutureMrsB (Aussie Bride!) ·
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    I would personally ask FH to have his sister stand on his side. That leaves 6 girls in the running for bridesmaids. Personally I would probably choose my sisters over my friends, but that is a personal choice, as some other girls would choose their friends over their sisters. I personally only have two sisters and one best friend, so they are my three bridesmaids. My mum, however is one of six, so she only had one of her sisters and some friends (I think... I wasn't there lol)

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  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
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    My SIL had a HUGE bridal party (eight on each side). However, they kept it simple by having the bridesmaids and groomsmen process down the aisle, then take seats in the second row (vs standing up the whole time). I thought it was weird at first, but it was a longish ceremony and they were grateful to sit. Plus I think it would have looked a little crazy to have sixteen people standing around during the ceremony.

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