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Andrea
Devoted September 2013

Wedding "norms" in your area

Andrea, on February 18, 2013 at 7:38 AM Posted in Planning 0 59

My timeline post had me thinking about how wedding traditions differ around the country. I was also talking to a co-worker who said that her niece, who lives in a different state, has a 9-month engagement, which is LONG for couples in her area. That surprised me!

So, what are some things that are "normal" in your area, but maybe not in other parts of the country? Here are some norms for my part of Wisconsin:

-Engagements are typically 1.5-2 years. (My engagement is 11 months and people think that is really short.)

-Receptions are usually held at banquet halls.

-Not many people go on honeymoons (almost all of my friends are married, and only 1 went on a honeymoon).

-The bridal party usually has a large limo or party bus after the ceremony for pictures and bar-hopping. It's very typical to see a wedding party at a bar on a Saturday afternoon.

59 Comments

Latest activity by FutureMrsL, on February 21, 2013 at 12:46 AM
  • Mrs. C
    VIP September 2013
    Mrs. C ·
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    Indiana...small town (even in the closest bigger city, which isn't that much bigger, many of these things are the norm).

    -Receptions are almost always held at banquet halls (in my city, they all are...there are no other choices)

    -Open bars are very, very rare (usually draft beer and cash bar)

    -Sit down dinners are very, very rare (almost always buffet)

    -Most weddings are very traditional (nothing surprising or outside of the box)

    -Wedding gowns are traditional

    -Weddings are usually held in churches

    -No seating chart or escort cards (everyone sits where they want)

    -Engagements are short (planning a wedding less than 12 months...even 5-6 months is normal)

    I've never been to a wedding with an open bar, sit down dinner or a seating chart. We're doing some things that are less traditional, and everyone will gossip about it...it's the way it goes.

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  • Belais
    VIP October 2013
    Belais ·
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    -Receptions are usually held in banquet halls, but I've been to a couple that weren't

    -Engagements are usually around a year

    -Honeymoons are the norm

    -Most weddings are in the late afternoon with a buffet style dinner

    -Cookie tables are the norm (this is in addition to cake/apps, etc)

    -Usual to have favors

    -Unusual to have seating charts or escort cards

    -Probably 50/50 between getting married in a church or outdoors/elsewhere

    -Many times the B&G guests will go out afterward for some kind of activity (bar, restaurant, bowling, etc)

    -Probably 75/25 - those who have alcohol to those who don't

    -Dollar dance (or some variant) is sometimes done, but less frequently now

    -Usual time b/w wedding & reception is 30min-2.5 hrs (more likely 1-2, but apps starting within 1hr)

    I live in Eastern Ohio near-ish to the Pennsylvania border - 30 mins from Youngstown.

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  • Mrs. S™
    Master October 2011
    Mrs. S™ ·
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    Interesting, none of our other WI brides ever mentioned bar hopping.

    Anyway, when you're responding to this post, it would be useful to include your location.

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  • Soon2BeMrsB
    Devoted April 2013
    Soon2BeMrsB ·
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    Andrea, what area do you live In? I have never heard of the wedding party bar hopping!

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  • kscha925
    Super May 2014
    kscha925 ·
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    Northeast PA :

    - All ceremonies are in churches with mass

    - Almost all receptions are in banquet halls, fire halls

    - Pig roasts are popular

    - Everyone has open bars

    - Wedding gowns are traditional cupcake/princess looking

    - Sit down dinners ALWAYS

    - Seating charts, favors..ALWAYS

    - Engagements last about a year or two

    - Honeymoons are the norm

    - Kids are always allowed

    - There's always at least 150 people

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  • Jen
    Master March 2014
    Jen ·
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    Here in NYC:

    - Lavish banquet halls are the norm with a guest list around 200

    - Engagements are around a year

    - Honeymoons are not only the norm, but if you say you're going to the Caribbean, they look at you funny. Europe, the South Pacific, and South America seem to be the ideal places.

    - Getting married in a church is hit/miss. People look for lofts overlooking the NYC skyline, Central Park and other places. It's ambiance, not religion.

    - Dresses are traditional to couture, and less than $2k is frowned upon

    - There is ALWAYS top-shelf alcohol and an open bar

    - Cakes look like they came out of a bridal magazine.

    - Photographers are photojournalistic, all vying for a Pulitzer

    - The goal of every bride is to appear in the wedding section of the NY Times.

    - "Budget" is a dirty word. Don't ever mention "budget" when meeting with vendors.

    Needless to say, you can see why I'm having such a hard time.

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  • Shay
    Dedicated March 2013
    Shay ·
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    I live in MS the norms:

    -App reception

    - wedding in a church

    - different wedding and reception location

    - engagements less than a year

    - rarely have a seen an open bar, only once

    - I have never seen a cocktail hour at a wedding

    -I have never seen a live band

    - no edible favors

    - always traditional ceremony and dress

    - typical for not to have a limo for transportation

    This is a neat thread Smiley smile

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  • WWLeeor
    VIP June 2020
    WWLeeor ·
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    @Mrs.S I was thinking the same thing! Please post your location too, this is fascinating!

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  • J
    Master January 2014
    Jules ·
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    I'm from the Philadelphia area and...

    -It seems to be about 50/50 for weddings in a church vs another venue

    -reception venues varying from outdoor tented events, to hotel ballrooms, to country clubs, to farms ... No real pattern I've noticed

    -Pics taken before ceremony and/or during cocktail hour

    -Full dinner reception. It seems split between buffet and plated

    -Some variation of an open bar - in that the drinks are unlimited and free for guests. I've seen liquor, beer, and wine and just beer/wine but with the conditions above.

    -Yes to seating chart or escort cards

    -Honeymoons are the norm

    -It has been common at the last 10 or so weddings I've been to for the B&G to offer a hotel block and provide some sort of shuttle to/from the reception

    -I've never in my life seen a dollar dance

    -There's no weird/different traditions I can think of that stand out

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  • Fireworks WIFE
    VIP July 2013
    Fireworks WIFE ·
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    Small Town Missouri and surrounding

    Couples seem to usually pay for their own wedding not parents

    Out of all the weddings I've been too they've all been buffets but 1

    Never seen assigned seats, but yet to assigned tables

    Never seen a black-tie only event in my area

    Never ever seen bar hopping

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  • Belais
    VIP October 2013
    Belais ·
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    @julesieeee - You likely don't want to see a dollar dance, trust me. I'm glad that phase seems to be dying out here. I didn't do it for my first wedding and won't be doing it for this one.

    A couple weddings I went to, the people wanting to dance with the B or G would give $1 to do so and would also get a shot prior to dancing with them.

    At my cousin's wedding last year, they didn't have people dance with them...instead, they sent around (I think) 'nice' metal pails with the BM & GM...guests would put money in one or the other usually (either for the B or G), if the Groom ended up with the most $, he chose to have his new wife call him sexy every time she addressed him for a month. If the bride won, she would get 1 month's worth of his paychecks. (This was the first time I saw something like this)

    To each their own...not my style though - I never participated in those.

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  • Sarah D.
    VIP March 2013
    Sarah D. ·
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    Oklahoma city, OK

    - Shorter engagements

    - Usually a buffet over seated dinner

    - Cash bar or a dry wedding is most common

    - Getting married in a church is absolutely the norm

    - No favors

    - Bridal cake is white, Grooms cake is chocolate

    - Dollar Dance has been done at every wedding I know of

    - 75% of couples go on cruises for their honeymoon (not official, just out of people I know)

    - Reception lasts only until about 11

    - Reception is Right after ceremony or less than an hour

    - NEVER been to or heard of a cocktail hour before WW.

    - B&G and WP going out clubbing or to the bar after the wedding is about 50/50

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  • Angie
    Super October 2015
    Angie ·
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    I'm from Wyoming:

    -Weddings are usually held in the country, in churches, the fairgrounds, or hotels. Smaller weddings are also held at homes or in parks

    -Receptions are typically at the fairgrounds, town halls, country clubs, or other similar venues (Elks/Moose lodge, etc.)

    -Engagements vary 6 months-2+ yrs. This depends on finances, military status (some choose to wait til after deployment is done, some prefer to complete it before it starts) and overall choice

    -Traditional ceremony

    -Clothing often entails cowboy boots and jeans, or other western wear, for the men

    -I've never been to a wedding that had a seating chart or escort cards

    -I've only been to one wedding that had a full dinner

    -Hotel blocks are not unusual

    -In the larger towns, limo service is available. I've never seen it used in smaller towns

    -I've only been to one reception without dancing. Others provide a live band or (more typically) a DJ

    -I've never been to one with an open bar, just cash

    cont...

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  • Steph ☺
    VIP April 2013
    Steph ☺ ·
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    I live in Manitoba, Canada, and one of the traditions we have that most other places don't have is to have a wedding social before the wedding. What this is a fundraiser of sorts for the couple. There is drinking, dancing, silent auction prizes and liquor draws. at around midnight while drawing for the prizes food will typically come out and traditionally it's cold cuts, rye bread and cheese and pickles... it's a ton of work to throw it and a ton of fun for everyone to come.. FH and I had one we raised a good amount of money that had helped!

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  • Angie
    Super October 2015
    Angie ·
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    Cont..

    -I've seen bar hopping here

    -Children are often invited

    -Cocktail hour is generally considered the guests at the reception hall waiting on the bride and groom to complete their photos

    -Money dance not unusual

    -Honeymoons vary, but generally the B&G go on a short weekend honeymoon, then go on a longer "real honeymoon" when they can afford to

    -Budget weddings are the norm with the current economy

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  • ashlee
    Master January 2012
    ashlee ·
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    I'm also in nyc.... but from dallas originally... and had a DW in san juan...

    - engagements 18-24 months (mine was 14)

    - interesting locations (museums, mansions, performance spaces, alt venues)

    - ALWAYS open bar. ALWAYS.

    - couture gowns (generally $5K and up)

    - always evening weddings (i have never been to a daytime wedding)

    - always a cocktail hour with passed canapes and wines

    - formal seated multi-course dinners (ours was 5 course)

    - always charts escort cards (never been to an "open seating" wedding)

    - live bands (i went to a wedding with 3 different bands)

    - elaborate gifts for OOT guests

    - private coaches / shuttle service for all guests

    - big hosted day after brunches

    - late night treats (5star food trucks, mac-n-cheese trucks etc)

    - lots of personal / individual touches (not cookie cutter weddings)

    - unique favors

    - no "bar hopping" but organized / hosted after parties

    - extended / exotic honeymoons

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  • A
    Master April 2014
    Angel J ·
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    I can only vouch for what is done in my circle, i have no idea about the area because most of them are idiots that i dont associate with... Anyway...

    - Engagements are typically 6-9 months, depending on how far along she is. Seriously, nobody my age gets married for love, there have been 5 weddings in the last year (none of which i was invited to) and all five brides were preggo. My engagement of 21 months was considered abnormally long, and shocking because i wasnt pregnant

    - Honeymoons are usually two nights at a local hotel

    - Children are always invited because everyone has at least one

    - Open bars are not a common thing because most of my area is dry

    - Invitations are usually preprinted cards from the dollar store, with the day and time written in, or those print-it-yourself types from Micheals or walmart. Nobody understands my DIY handmade invitations

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  • mrsaj2b
    Master October 2019
    mrsaj2b ·
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    DMV area:

    Most weddings are either in hotels or mansions

    They tend to be large weddings 150 and over guests

    HMs are usually taken right after the wedding

    BPs tend to be on the larger side 4 to 5 attendants on both the Bride and Groom's side

    Full service open bars

    Engagements are about 1 to 2 years

    Reserving a venue in this area usually requires booking 1 year in advance

    High end photographers are not uncommon

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  • Emmy Nae
    VIP October 2013
    Emmy Nae ·
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    MN norms:

    Dollars dance

    50/50 between church or somewhere else for the ceremony

    Receptions are at recption halls, VFW, legions ect

    most have buffet

    few have open bar

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  • Soon2bMrsDeFino
    Dedicated May 2013
    Soon2bMrsDeFino ·
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    Iowa

    - Mostly 50/50 between church and somewhere else for ceremony

    - Most weddings are between April - Oct around here because of the weather and alot happen outdoors because of that

    - Most receptions in halls, legions, hotels, fairgrounds

    - Almost always a buffet

    - Children always there

    - Usually a keg of beer involved

    - Never been to a wedding with a seating chart

    - Always a dollar dance

    - Always a bus/limo after ceremony to bar hop before reception

    - Alot of DIY and budget weddings

    (Myself included for all of the above) LOL

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