Wedding Insurance ASAP / Timeframes

Your venue should be able to give you their requirements. When we received the reminder last month to make our second deposit they also included in the email that insurance is due no later than March 1 and provided a link to purchase through their required agent or we can get on our own.

Also check the terms. Most insurance doesn't cover if you change your mind... and want to get married earlier or cancel due to cold feet or wanting a new venue. Most only cover emergencies like bride or groom in hospital. So I would be sure to check what cancellation counts as a refund.

If it doesn't cover the reason you want to cancel, ask your venue if your deposit can be transferred to another date.

Honestly, you might be stuck and it's a good lesson not to book something until your sure of the type of wedding you're having :/

@Jana -& @NowASeptMrs --

I checked my contract and it makes no reference to insurance, so I'm guessing I'd need to find my own agent/policy. I am held to the minimum if cancellation occurs.

I'm not changing my mind because of cold feet, wanting another venue, or changing the wedding type. My father has brain cancer. Enough said. God willing, he's going to be fine. But now I don't necessarily want to wait until May.

I couldn't have known, and it's not a good lesson at all.

@ Remi that is a terrible situation, my suggestion is to contact your venue and talk to them, explain the situation. MOST business owners have a heart. Maybe they can work something out with you. You dont know till you try

Many policies do cover contracts that have already been signed prior to taking out the insurance policy, but they likely will not cover cancellation due to preexisting conditions. I second contacting the venue. They will probably keep your deposit, but they may have a heart and let you out of the minimum given that they likely will still be able to book a Saturday in May. Maybe you could stay with your venue but move the wedding to a winter date if available? Either way, I would decide if you want to cancel the May date ASAP.

I am so sorry. I didn't mean it as you have cold feet, I apologize if you took it that way. I didn't mean that. I just meant that policies can be very sticky and have a lot of fine print :/

I am sorry to hear about your father. As far as I know wedding insurance only pays out if the event doesn't take place due to a primary person not being present due to an unavoidable emergency. I don't know if it would cover your financial loss if you make a change to your plans preemptively. Your best course of action is to read the terms of the policies, and to talk to your venue about options due to the extreme change of circumstances. Something other brides on WW have done in similar situations is have a very small ceremony with immediate family with the sick family member present, and then have your wedding as planned on the planned date as a vow renewal. Maybe some of them will see this post and tell you about their experiences.

As someone who is/has experienced something very similar very early on in wedding planning, talk first with your father. Find out all of the details, the course of action his doctors want to take, the prognosis, how things will be going in the months to come and how he feels about changing the wedding date.

Just 4 months after getting engaged, in April of this year, my family had to deal with my mother's cancer diagnosis for the 2nd time in 5 years. Our original date was 07/23/16, I immediately wanted to move my date up. I didn't talk to my mother first and just changed the date to 05/15/15. Stupidly, I started changing everything around and even had invitations printed ready to go. I finally sat down and talked to my mother. We went over everything and I realized that rushing to move up the date was making it more difficult for my mother. She wanted to be there for the wedding and didn't want me to trade a big wedding or wedding I was planning for a last minute thrown together wedding just because I was scared of losing her. Our family has been down this road before so chemo and treatments are not as scary as before but the possibility of losing my mother is just as scary and real. I want her to be able to experience this as much as she wants to experience it with me so we have still been going full steam ahead with planning while she went through chemo. She was supposed to be "done" with chemo this month but there have been complications. My mother was hospitalized last week and for now her numbers are good so they stopped chemo but the doctors have not said she's actually "done" with chemo.

I know of two other girls on here who have lost parents while planning their weddings. One girl got married with her father in her parents backyard I believe? She is still having her planned wedding as well. There is another girl who got married in her father's hospital room and still had her wedding a few months later.

After talking with my mother she made it clear that what is meant to be will be. I don't like to talk about the possibilities of what could occur with my mother. I know that at the end of it all, you can only go based on what you know today and not the future. Don't go driving yourself crazy talk first to your father, next talk to your venue and see what options you have to change the date/have a smaller wedding and take things a little at a time. I know it's overwhelming, I've been there when you're told that the reason your parent is sick is something that there is no cure for, I'm still there. Take everything one piece at a time and one day at a time.

So sorry to hear this. I agree with Future Mrs Batog-Huffman. Talk to your dad. Find out what the doctors are saying. When you first learn of a diagnosis it is so much to process. I hope the case is that he has treatable brain cancer and will be fine. But see what he says.

In some cases and I really hope this isn't yours. The cancer moves so fast. When we got my moms stage iv breast cancer diagnosis it had already moved into her CSF (brain) she was already losing control of motor functions, losing memory and passed 6 weeks later.

If and again I really hope this isn't the case your dads prognosis is grime maybe you could do a small ceremony so he is there. Just you, FH, parents, and siblings. Then do your planned wedding in May. My aunt and uncle actually did this when my grandmother was ill.

So sorry. If you need to talk or vent please let me know.

While my experience with event insurance is a bit limited I have used it for something else as well as my son's open house (venue required it). I have dealt with an awful lot of cancer in my family so please know that I say this with a kind heart and empathy - since your dad's cancer has been diagnosed prior to buying the insurance you are out of luck.

I don't have riders around anymore but I can tell you there was a litany of things listed that the insurance would not cover and pre-existing health conditions are one of them. I don't know if medical conditions for anyone other than B&G would be covered, but I do know that preexisting conditions aren't covered.

I'm currently sitting at the hospital with my father while he finishes his second round of chemo - so I hear you on moving up the wedding. I was ready to, but after we talked to his doctors I'm not pulling that trigger until I have to. My officiant is able to proceed with a small ceremony with my family if that is what I need to do to have my dad there, but I strongly suggest you talk with the doctors. I have my dress, my FH's suit is ordered, and my brother will be home in two weeks from tech school - so hopefully nothing will impact my wedding date but hey, if it does - it does. My dad doesn't want me to move my wedding from May. He has Stage III mantle cell lymphoma, and it is aggressive but the cancer treatment center we are at is amazing and we are all staying positive. He wants things to be as normal as possible, and honestly - it has been kind of a boost for him to think that a month or two after his chemo rounds and stem cell transplant, he will be walking me down the aisle. Or hell, I'll be rolling him if I have to.

If you've already talked to the doctors and know the stage and that there isn't a course of treatment to help, then yes - I totally get wanting to pull the plug and go ahead right now. That was how I felt in August and September until we transferred to this better facility. But now that we've fully gotten a path for him and his treatment, I'm keeping my options open and ready to go but maintaining my wedding for May. I will still be having my wedding in May - there were many reasons for picking it, but if I have to get married sooner so be it. My friends and family would understand.

@Remi I'm so sorry to hear about this and that this is happening for your family at this time. I misunderstood your question as well as I thought you were referring to the Liability Insurance required by most venues. You should contact an insurance broker that may be able to assist you more than your venue would as most venue's do not require wedding insurance coverage. You can be insured for the amount that you would lose in the case of the event not taking place and any deposits you have already made will be covered. If you go with the right carrier, it will cover the event not taking place due to illness or injury of the bride, groom, the honorees, parents, grandparents and children. They use terms like "unexpected" and such so it is a sticky situation, so if you let them know upfront about your circumstances then they'd be able to best assist. Hopefully thought is you do change your date you can just speak with someone at your venue and they'll be understanding and accommodating. Prayers and good thoughts sent your way.

Remi - We had something somewhat similar happen (the doctors were threatening to shave half my head for surgery!) so I wanted to know what would happen if I moved my date forward. We ended up not having to, I was able to avoid surgery, but I called all my vendors in a panic when this was an option. All of my vendors were willing to move my contact to any open date, as long as I stuck with the minimum. For example, my venue had a 2k minimum, the full wedding was August 9th. It ended up costing around 6k for everything. Had we wanted to move it to Feb, for 25 people rather than 50, we could have - As long as another wedding was not booked that day.

It may be beneficial to your peace of mind if nothing else, to find out if a flexible date emergency option exists, and as you move forward, any one else you book with make sure that is written into the contract.

Sending good wishes and hope for your dad!

Hopeful update: it's a melanoma mass on his brainstem, but not in his brain (thank god). Surgery within the next two weeks to take it out. It's very new since it hadn't shown up on his pet scan three weeks ago. The treatments he's been on have been extremely successful, but basel cells travel and this was the most feared outcome. Praying that the surgery and continued positive outcome from the meds nips this in the bud. He already beat pancreatic cancer last year, and the melanoma has been drastically reduced. Just....brain. UGH. He can beat this too!

I took your advice (everyone) and looked at insurance riders. @Jeleebeenz is correct. Pre-existing conditions are not covered for a cancellation policy. I realize now that even if I purchased a policy before signing the venue contract, it wouldn't have made a difference since my father has been treated for melanoma and pancreatic cancer over the past year.

I'm absorbing this all and it makes sense to talk with my dad before making any decisions. He probably would not want me to move the date closer. I don't want to think about needing to do that, only focus on him walking down the aisle with me in May.

My primary concern is the venue; I plan on traveling to Boston for the surgery and will probably make an effort to speak with my coordinator. He was aware of my dad's condition when I signed the contract.

Continuing conversations with specific people below....

@Future Mrs. Batog-Huffman

It’s been up and down with my dad, but his team of doctors are amazing and every time something new pops up, they take care of it very quickly. Almost everything has been caught early and aggressively treated. This new thing…it does appear to be melanoma which is good news (albeit shitty) because they can continue the specific meds for that. If it was something else….he’d have to stop, and that would change everything. The hardest part is that he’s in Massachusetts and I’m in Texas. Not easy conversations to have over the phone, but hopefully I’ll be there for the upcoming surgery and can address the topic then.

Through everything, my entire family has clung to the results of his treatments. So many ups and downs, as I’m sure you know full well the weight of at all times. I also do not like to even think about what could happen. Every time we hear about a new spot, I just tell myself it’s fine. His meds work. It’ll be gone in a week. It’s nothing serious. They’ll cut it out. He’ll keep going. Perhaps the best course of action is for me to just focus on him always being okay.

I wish the best for your mother and your family. You sound extremely grounded, and that’s inspiring. Are her doctors saying she’s not done with chemo because it’s no longer working, and have to resume? I sincerely hope her treatment options are successful. Viral and immunotherapy are proving to have positive outcomes for many different types of cancer now.

Thank you for the kind words and perspective.

@AG2005

I am extremely saddened for your loss. I cannot imagine the shock your family must have felt, everything moving so fast. Cancer is an evil, evil, asshole. Your poor mother…just devastating. That is all just too much at once. How did you ever get through that? My heart goes out to you.

So far, after a day of back and forth, the prognosis is as good as can be expected. But he’ll have to have brain surgery. Very scary stuff. Staying positive. This melanoma has been a beast, but he keeps beating it back. We just never wanted to hear the words “brain mass”. I don’t know what to think about surgery.

For now, I guess I’ll just take a break from wedding planning. I was about to send STDs, but I’m thinking it can wait a few more weeks until after his surgery. And in the meantime, meet with my venue coordinator to let him know what’s going on; he was very kind and had gone through a similar situation, so I cling to the hope that he’ll be flexible if it comes to that. Which it won’t.

Thank you for your advice. Stay strong!

@ Tania & Jason – thank you for the thoughtful words.

@Jana – thank you, and no worries. I actually didn’t know myself if I was referring to liability or cancellation. I think at this point, knowing about pre-existing conditions, I’ll just have to hope the venue will work with me.

@Allison – YIKES. Are you okay now? Your wedding was recent, so are you still having to undergo surgery? Goodness….

@WolfWedding2016 – My thoughts go out to you and your father. I completely understand the need for everything to be as normal as possible, not disruptive. You both sound VERY strong. My father’s situation sounds similar…stage IV melanoma, but the treatments available are incredible and successful. This one just really threw me for a loop.

You and I are almost wedding-date-twins, so let’s band together to stay on track and watch our dads beat cancer, and have beautiful May weddings.

Last comment for now. Thank you to EVERYONE for your kind words and thoughts. You've all been immensely helpful and calmed me down a LOT. I've said a lot of stuff here today, and I'm sorry for bombarding everyone's inbox (or whatever).

People say it all the time, but this community is amazing.

Just had time to read your updates - and glad that even though the news isn't "good" it isn't as bad as originally thought. I'm sending my best to you as well! I didn't realize you'd been going through this for some time now, so I totally get feeling like you need to change things. If you want to connect to vent at all or let out frustrations or worries I am totally available for that too! I honestly felt really alone about all of this until I posted a couple months ago with my concerns (we hadn't told my brother at first due to him being in the military and out of state until the end of this month and we hadn't had much to tell him since the first hospital was so terrible) and I got such great advice and also was able to kind of regroup. Hopefully your venue understands if it comes to it, but even more so - with quick treatment we will hopefully both have our fathers around in May and for as many more years as possible.

Update again. My dad is so chill and down-plays everything to the point of utter confusion on my part. My brother reports that brain surgery is required; he'll be awake. Yikes. My dad says it's "minor", no big deal. LOL okay Dad. Doesn't seem like he's worried at all!

I guess I'll go back into day-to-day mode and not make any changes to the wedding plan. Full steam ahead, ahoy!