When we kept our July 18th date we knew it wouldn’t be easy for many reasons.
I asked my fiancé if he was willing to elope and do the big wedding next year with many convos about it. But he really didn’t like the idea of eloping and wasn’t willing to do it. We want to start a family right away, so we decided to have a smaller wedding instead of just postponing.
We cut our guest list down from 150 to 50 people.
We told all our guests, come only if comfortable. We encouraged people not to come unless they wanted to be in a social situation or planned to be or do something social this summer. We also have taken great measures to social distance people at the ceremony and reception. A table that seats 12, has half the people or even some less. We have a table of 4 and a table of 5. People are grouped by family or people comfortable with each other. Tables and groups 6 feet apart. Our venue is big, and 50 people will not be crowded. The ceremony outside is staggered and spread out. We ordered masks for guests incase they forget. We are in phase 3 (250 people ok) but still treating our wedding as a phase 2 (50 people or less).
I told all my bridesmaids please do not come unless you are comfortable. I texted them about it and called them all in person. I said I would rather them feel safe and not come and no hard feelings, just please let me know so I can plan accordingly.
2 of my bridesmaids gave me a no for attendance, a month ago. I understood it 100%. I wanted them not to come for any reason if the case.
Well my 3rd bridesmaid came over the other day. She is panicked about going back to school (we are both teachers). Before she left she wanted to try on my dresses I own so she could borrow one for the rehearsal dinner. She took one of my dresses home that she liked. This really threw me off on the call I got later that evening.
Later that night she calls me up, said that she can’t come to the wedding, and that a group of 50 people is not safe and that someone would probably die and she didn’t want it to be her or her husband.
Okay I have been in a deep depression now after this phone call on many levels and for many reasons. 14 days till the wedding and 75% paid and any excitement has vanished. I understand she doesn’t want to come, and she has every right not to but the way she told me about not coming makes me feel like a terrible person and sucked any wedding excitement out of me. My fiancé told me to not worry, the wedding is about us and not her. But it’s definitely the feeling of biting into a rotten apple, the taste won’t go away.
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