Wedding Expense help.

Ehhhh I would not do a fundraiser for a wedding. It may work out but I know I would not fund someone else's wedding. No disrespect. As the PP said people may say something or not be as supportive. Trust me I am there with the budget and there is a lot we won't be able to do due to budget and we have decided we are not willing to break the bank nor owe anything post ceremony. You two should budget for the wedding and reception you can afford even if it is a low key reception at a banquet hall. Sucks that weddings are expensive but not sure the fundraiser is the way to go. Have you asked friends and family their thoughts?

No. If I couldn’t afford a large wedding, I wouldn’t have one. Fundraisers are for charities, which my wedding was not.

Honestly, I don’t think you should be fundraising for your wedding expenses. That just sounds morally and ethically wrong. Maybe you both should reevaluate your expenses and budget. It sounds very tacky to have a fundraiser for something like to wedding when fundraising are for things like charity and helping those less fortunate.

A wedding is a luxury, not a necessity. Cut your guest list to what you can afford, or keep a large guest list and host a simple “cake & punch” reception in a church or community hall at a non-meal time (like 2 pm for your wedding).

We are not. We will be having a wedding that we can afford. Personally, I feel that fundraisers should be reserved for good causes & those who really need it (ie, illness, tragedy, etc.) I would never support a fundraiser for such a selfish reason. It is not the responsibility of others to fund your party.

It’s kind of tacky to be honest. You don’t have to have an elaborate wedding to have a special one. I wouldn’t donate for someone to have some crazy party when I could donate to someone in need or ill

No, we’re not having our guests (or others) pay for the wedding that FH and I chose to have. It’s no one else’s responsibility to fund a wedding simply because a couple is planning above their financial means.

Only you and your fiancé are responsible for the cost of the wedding. Not your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends etc. if someone offers to contribute that is fantastic but having a fundraiser is not appropriate. A wedding is about marrying the one you love, which can be done very cheaply if needed, not about having a huge (optional) party/reception. If you can’t afford your current wedding try re-evaluating what you want (cut down on guest list? Cheaper venue? Changing date to save money?).

Sooooo....many years ago in Holland a current bridal shower was similar to a fundraiser lol. It was done when the woman found someone who the father didn't approve of. Friends and family showered the bride with gifts in order to help the new bride to be. While fundraising is probably not appropriate today, I find the history interesting.

View Quoted Comment Surprisingly quite a few people gave us the idea...we are a huge softball family/community...the support has been pretty overwhelming...our friends and family actually loved the idea of a fun filled day of softball, food, music and we've even included activities for the kids....and we aren't asking for or wanting gifts since we have been together and have an established home for the last two years.

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I think each group of friends are different so if they support you then go for it. I know my group of friends and family would not provide funds and I wouldn't ask. They if anything would give me suggestions on how to minimize costs like maybe offer their clubhouses. My FH and I have been together for 7 years and have lived together for 4 so we would not need gifts either but we are working within our budget. I think it is great the community is coming together but I would just suggest still plan for something more affordable. What if the fundraising is not enough for everything you want? I have heard some brides believe that at their reception they will make enough to pay off their wedding via wedding gifts but usually that is not the case. I think minimizing the reception and maybe the guest list if the invites have not gone out will also help. Good luck and hopefully it is a success.

I haven’t heard of it in the US, but in portions of Canada it’s apparently common in some areas to have a silent auction fundraiser to raise money for the wedding. The couple get donations for the silent auction, invite friends, etc., and the expectation is that any money they raise goes towards costs for food and drink at the reception. Seems like a very Canadian thing to me that everyone cares enough to want to support the couple (and wants an excuse for a party) that they would gather together to do that. Plus I’m sure in some small towns, it’s such a good boost for the community, they’d want to do it. Back in the day, a whole town would get together to help out for a wedding...it’s nice that you have a nice softball “community” of your own that will help you out.

If you can’t afford the wedding you want, either wait or downsize

View Quoted Comment If you can afford to provide music, games and food at a softball game, why not just turn that into the wedding? Or use that money instead for a wedding?

Oh boy, I can't even with this one.

No... I just had the wedding I could afford. There's so many ways to cut costs that doesn't include asking family for money.

Hi, TheTindles! I guess my question is if you can provide food, music, activities, etc., why not just put the money you would be spending towards the fundraiser into the wedding fund? Even if the fundraiser had a simple and cheap meal like hot dogs and chips, the investment you put into setting up a fundraiser would be better spent towards wedding expenses.

Instead of a fundraiser, I would look into ways to save for the wedding! You could always forgo expensive catering with options from an Italian restaurant, BBQ, or Mexican food (which are usually the cheapest options per person!). You could look for decorations on Facebook Marketplace, where brides who are already married love to sell their decor for cheaper than the stores.

This piece of advice may prove controversial to some on here, and usually I wouldn't give this idea, but I saw that you commented that a lot of family have been supportive of the fundraiser idea. Have you considered approaching them and seeing if they would want to contribute to the wedding as your wedding gift? If they would be giving money to you at fundraiser anyway, I think it signals that they want to help, and this would save you a lot of time, money that could be spent on the wedding, and stress!

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I think that is a great cultural aspect but it is not Americans do not care about the wedding day of others rather often couples want these elaborate things that cost so much money instead of downsizing. I feel supporting the couple is taking time out of their day to attend their event and any related events and giving a wedding gift. It is one thing to help with the ceremony but a reception is not necessary. I wish as I am sure many brides do, to have a large and lavish wedding but not everyone's budget can afford that. I feel that people not fundraising for a big reception is not being selfish rather practical. I think it is great her community is willing to do that and I hope it does give her what she wants but I do not think it is fair to make it seem that Americans are selfish because that is not how we do weddings.

Agreed with others. I wouldn't go to a "wedding fundraiser" and I'd honestly probably not want to go to a wedding that the couple "fundraised" for. Not being able to afford a luxury wedding is a first world problem, and I'm not into paying for other people's extravagant lifestyles.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you. I understand a big wedding, but a budget should be in place. I never heard anyone have a fundraiser for a wedding.