Wedding Expense help.

No i never have, and i'm sorry to say, never would. its a cute catch phrase but i would use it more for you bach party. if you continue to go through with it i hope it goes well. don't expect gifts from these same people who donated to pay for the wedding.

View Quoted Comment I only said I thought it was a nice thing that Canadians do; that’s not the same as calling Americans selfish. I was just saying I thought it was nice. And for what it’s worth, I am an American (close to the Canadian border). There is no need to respond defensively.

Have you guys thought about possibly taking a bank loan out to help with wedding costs? then if you receive gifts you can just pay off the loan with the money people give you. i find that may be a better way to go about it - and don't do a registry. if you aren't registered people won't bring items, theyll likely bring you cash or check.

View Quoted Comment My apologies but at the same time your original quote did not come off that way. Again it is a very nice thing to do and I do recognize that different cultures and different communities do things differently. By your original quote I assumed that you were Canadian so even though messages can get lost in text I took it a little personal because it did kind of make it seem like that Canadians are nice which they are I just came back from Toronto to weeks ago and I love the people there but the message to me came off as Americans are selfish because we don't want to fundraise for someone's wedding. However I do understand that was not your intention and thank you for clarifying. I don't mean to be rude to you but I also hope you can understand why I took it away that I took it but it's all good and at the end of the day I personally feel every bride needs to do what works for them because every group and every Community is different.

I think a softball tournament is an fun idea and a very creative way to pad the budget. As long as everyone knows what they're there for and are on board, I see nothing wrong with it. It's not like a gofundme where you're essentially asking for a single-sided benefit. Here, everyone has fun, you'll probably feed them, and everyone can walk away with a smile. Have fun and let us know how it goes!

No! No one should pay for your wedding except you, or your parents IF they offer to contribute. If you can’t afford to pay for your own wedding, you should cut back on expenses (guest list, stationary, etc.).

You can ask family members to help you contribute to your wedding. I am Catholic and i have sponsors who are helping to pay for the cake, the DJ and band. You can also throw a party and charge for food or entrance fee or both. I hope this helps.

You dont need a fortune for a wedding. Find a friends family with a nice area, or a fancy library to rent out(venue done) then since there is no restrictions there, work a part time job at costco/samsclub to get food without paying for a membership, pay a lunch lady or culinary students to cook, regular ppl to serve. DIY dummy cake and have the baker do the bottom two large layers plain. Rum and coke and spiked lemonade in glass jugs are fun adult drink without need for a bartender. Good will decore, reused dresses, rent suits. So many other ideas.

View Quoted Comment Exactly, thank you Sierra...and our Softball family actually suggested it! Will let you know how it goes.

View Quoted Comment I was born in California raised in Texas and I'm a diehard Cowboys fan....can't get more American than that...what made you think I was Canadian?

This is a good idea and I may use this to help us out

Hi there! Sorry so many people have been so rude with their responses...
Personally, I have never heard of a fundraiser wedding, but I think it's interesting how a community is willing to help out their friends at that level. If everyone is so supportive why not give it a try. It sounds like a lot of fun actually. It would probably never work in my family, but I imagine a neighborhood bake sale would thrive.😅
Maybe if you labeled this event specifically as your bridal shower it would ward off any confusion/judgement.

I don't think you should be fundraising your wedding because you are literally depending on people let alone strangers like its a charity event. You don't even know how much people are going to pull through for that, if not at all. We're doing a "budget wedding" and inviting people and setting budgets on the things we can financially afford. It can come off as tacky especially if you ask guests. It just seems like it's not a good idea.

It sounds like the softball idea is special to your family background and encouraged by the family so why not? It’s unconventional in my opinion but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing IF the family seems like their excited for it. However, I would expect that if they donate during the softball game, you would not also receive gifts or money come wedding day for a house or other things. As others said, it may be better to downsize or forego some things.


Please don’t make a go-fund me page, I also consider it extremely tacky.

View Quoted Comment Thank you Amy I definitely think the word "Fundraiser" threw alot of people off and had them assuming we were looking for a hand out or for everyone to pay for our wedding which we arent. When we explained that we were not going to register for gifts since we have an established home and dont need anything, thats when the idea was suggested...our softball community does alot for each other....were family and I appreciate their support alot.


Happy planning maam and congratulations to you!

View Quoted Comment Softball is a big part of our lives! I think the word "Fundraiser" threw alot of people off and had them assuming we were looking for a hand out or for everyone to pay for our wedding which we arent. When we explained that we were not going to register for gifts, or have a shower since we have an established home and dont need anything, thats when the idea was suggested...our softball community does alot for each other....were family and I appreciate their support alot.

View Quoted Comment That sounds so fun! Like I said it’s unconventional or different but weddings are changing and becoming different for couples in different places in their lives or relationships. At the end of the day, it’s what works best for you, not anyone replying on these forums.

I hope you have a great time! 😊

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I'm imagining team t-shirts all around, like maybe the family is divided into Your team and His team to up the competition. You can also include Tug-O-War, Best Chilli Contest, a sack race or wheelbarrow race for the kids, ect. Make it a whole thing!

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These are cute ideas!

Wow, I was surprised at a lot of the comments on here. I personally thought your idea of a fundraiser was fun and unique. I personally suck at fundraisers, but I don’t see anything wrong with anyone wanting to raise funds for any event. Couples have honeymoon registries these days so that guests can offset the cost of the honeymoon and it’s widely accepted. Why not the same for a wedding if others are happy to contribute to your union? I say go for it and have fun with your family and friends!!