Wedding announcements are bad etiquette?

I think it's fine, this is what people used to do before facebook, otherwise how else would you know when friends got married and what their new last name is (so you can send them a Christmas card with the right name lol). Honestly I think it's more personalized and I would appreciate it instead of just logging onto facebook one day and seeing your status changed. And it would let me know that you cared enough to personally let me know about the momentous occasion!

I remember our family getting announcements for cousins marriages. No one was ever offended.. but my family doesn't get dramatic over most stuff anyway.

If people know you are engaged and you want to send out an announcement afterwards, Go for it, You can not and will not please everyone when you are planning a wedding. If you sent out an announcement with registry information, that would be rude and gift grabby.

I plan on sending announcements to those who I did invite but was unable to make it to the wedding. Its not going to have any registry information on it unless they ask for it.

Honestly, I agree with your Grandma. I feel the same about hs/college graduation announcements. I don't think I would be necessarily offended if I got an announcement for a wedding I wasn't invited to but I would definitely rolls my eyes.

For people who know what those announcements are, there's no problem. For people who are not accustomed to them (most of our FB generation) or any close friends who may feel snubbed by not getting an invite (ie- If they didn't want to make the wedding a big deal, why send me this thing after the fact) then an announcement won't be received well.

I've gotten lots of "we've moved" cards and to me a married announcement would be the same if I wasn't super close to the couple. If I were super close then I'd already know you're married & I'd already have your new address in my gps before any card would have gone through the mail. Think of it that way.

If you want to send a general announcement, consider the type of people you'd be sending it to. Closer people should get a call or will likely already know. If you're teally concerned about offending people or it causes a prob with grandma, err on the side of caution & forego it.

I have several business associates that aren't invited to the wedding (not that close to them personally). One has asked about announcements. I'm not paying $300 to have it run in the local paper, so I am looking into having some printed. For the most part these will be sent to their business address as I don't have a personal one for them. I'm potentially considering how to do it via email. I see it as more of a courtesy and not gift grabbing.

I think it would be weirder to find out a year later that you were married and didn't bother to tell people at all. If you are marrying at the courthouse, a photo of the two of you on the courthouse steps would make it pretty clear that you weren't just not inviting people. I'm not against an announcement, but it should be done/worded so people know it was not a big affair that you left them out of.

Your parents should send a wedding announcement to your side of the family and his should do the same. It is bad etiquette for YOU to send them yourself but it's perfectly proper for ya'lls parent's to send them.

I don't think they're tacky, but I wouldn't send them for our wedding. Ours isn't technically small.. I really wouldn't know who else to send announcements to as all of the important people will be present at the wedding, so they'd be like, "uh, duh, I know you're married."

I think in rusticbride's case, that makes sense. All of maybe ten people will be coming to our ceremony, and honestly it's just our parents and a few cousins and an aunt and uncle who live an hour away from our destination wedding location. If my FH and I were having a larger wedding to include everyone, there would be no point (for me) to send them. Since most of our family can't afford to/can't get the time to travel, we'll be having a little party at home and we'll send announcements.

It's situational, really.

My mom was showing me some old family wedding announcements a few days ago.

Only one actual wedding in fifty years. (; My family (and his) have a thing for small and/or eloping alone.

In my opinion it's not tacky or rude. When Hubby and I got married in 2004, we eloped. It was just me, Hubby, MOH, BM and my dad at my MOH and BM's house on their back deck. We used on one of our pictures and made announcements and sent them to our friends and families. We received calls of congrats and some calls saying "how come we weren't invited?" and had to explain that we just wanted to do it small.

No one felt obligated to buy us gifts.

The people that would be offended in get there panties in a wad about not being inivited are the rude ones. To many people have the mindset that they should be included in everything. Well guess what? Everybody can't do everything and be invited everywhere. Just say "oh that's nice. give them a congrats and keep it moving.

Could you not word it something along the lines of...

"In the presence of our immediate families" then people know it was only the immediate families invited and it was small?

I'll be honest, I have never heard of wedding announcements, nor would I know the etiquette. Would I be offended to receive a wedding announcement of a wedding I was not invited to... yes. If it was a small intimate gathering... no I wouldnt be.

the others are right, you wont make everyone happy, you will have complainers. But if you could make it come across on the announcement like it was a small wedding, I think less people would be offended.

I don't think it's rude, and neither does Miss Manners. A wedding announcement (or any sort of announcement) is not a call for gifts. As someone mentioned, it would be nice to add a person note to your announcement if you had time.

I don't think there is anything wrong with them and I don't think people will think you are just out for a gift. Also really depends on how you word them.

I agree with your grandma. I think times are different than the used to be and information gets passed much more quickly so wedding announcements aren't necessary. If they aren't close enough to you for them to know you're getting married even if it's a small ceremony then the probably won't care that you've sent them an announcement. If i got a wedding announcement I would think it was a waste of paper.

Here's the question as posed to Miss Manners:

"SW Waterfront: My partner and I are planning a very small wedding with only immediate family and very close friends in attendance. We would, however, like to inform others as to our union without appearing to be begging for presents. Is a wedding announcement out of line? And, if not, how does one get across "no presents please" without having to state it on the announcement? Thank you for your thoughts.

Miss Manners: Formal wedding announcements are rarely sent nowadays, possibly because couples are too busy telling the entire world about their weddings on the internet. But announcements are intended to inform people who you believe would care to know; they are not demands for presents, however many people mistakenly think so. (They require merely a return message of good wishes.) But if you are wary of your friends' reactions, send them individual chatty messages instead."

Personally, I have never believed they were tacky, but, as Miss Manner points out, these things change with the decades. Also, Shutterfly has quite an assortment, so somebody's buying them:

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/wedding-announcements/wonderful-moment-wedding-announcement-5x7-flat?productCode=1096678&categoryCode=60411&skuCode=1096679

^^ Those are adorable!

I remember talking about this with co-workers a few years ago, because one of them had received an announcement but not an invitation. The general consensus (at least for my area) was that they were sent to out-of-town people who you didn't anticipate would be able to come, and that receiving one required a gift. I personally don't agree with that, but these were older ladies (probably your grandma's generation), and they viewed the announcements that way.

I know this is off topic and I don't mean to be rude, but I signed up here to get tips and advice on how to plan a wedding. Shy do you need tips and advice one year in advance for a 15 person wedding?