We accidently set our date on the same day as our friends 1st wedding anniversary

So is it the same day, or the same weekend, with their date being Saturday and yours being Sunday?

ETA: OK I see I mis-read...the dates are a year apart. Keep your date.

No its not terrible. Its a year apart. Keep your date.

Honestly? there are only so many sundays/saturdays in a year. chances are, no matter what you do, its going to fall on a day that is special to someone else, be it birthdays, anniversaries, etc. You're going to drive yourself crazy trying to avoid it.

Its ridiculously presumptuous of your friends to complain to you about your date and go so far as to ask you to change it. You've signed the contracts. Don't change it. They can make the decision whether or not they want to come, but they dont have sole ownership of that date for the rest of time. Thats absurd.

I don't think it's a big deal. Keep your date.

So? He doesn't get dibs on that date forever, ESPECIALLY on an in season date.

Personally, I think it's pretty ballsy of him to ask you to change your date, and in no universe should you do that.

They'll either come or they won't. If they do, maybe gift the a tiny cake they can take home to celebrate with or do that anniversary dance thing; pretty much guaranteed they'll be one of only a few married one year.

I agree with PPs. If it were the same YEAR and literally the same day, that would be an issue. But a year apart? That's really not a huge deal.

I think he should just decline being in your wedding. I know for my first anniversary I would not want to be in a wedding party where most of the day would be spent away from my spouse. I don't think he should ask you to change your date, but if I were him I would have (graciously) declined being in your wedding party

Don't change your date. It seems like you had a very good reason for picking that date. They can get over themselves.

They will just have to get over it. It may be inconvenient for them but they don't "own" that date.

Ah thank you so much everyone ! I just didn't know if I was being selfish for thinking that way! But I feel 100% better already and yes we have made it clear that we would have no hard feelings if he were to not be in the wedding party.

Keep your date no question.

As a couple who are still planning a wedding, it should still be fresh in their minds how hard it is to juggle dates and make as many people happy as possible. It's impossible to find a date not taken by something else. AND the date is a holiday weekend. I know it's no bbq, but come on.

If I were them I'd be super happy for my friends!

Nope. If they don't want to celebrate their anniversary with you, they don't have to come. It's a freakin holiday weekend. Very popular wedding date..

One of my BM's has her 5 year wedding anniversary on my wedding day. She and her hubby are celebrating the day after. She wasn't upset by it at all...your FH's friend is being ridiculous.

Definitely don't change it, they have to adult and realize that just because they got married on this date that they don't own the date forever. Lot of people are going to get married on that date - it happens.

Sweet, free one-year anniversary party for them! (At least that'd be how I'd think of it...)

This is such a weird thing to have a problem with. They're probably going to have to have other things scheduled on future anniversaries.. they don't own the date. I started law school on my first anniversary. DH came and picked me up at the end of the day and we went out to dinner. It's not like they need 24 hours free to celebrate their anniversary.

A good family friend had a similar issue. Their wedding was on my parents 25 anniversary. No one cared, you don't have claim to that day for the rest of eternity just because it special to you. That would be like me saying no one can do anything but celebrate me every Oct 21 because I was born and yay me. No. Not that special.

The Bride and Groom were super nice though. They had the DJ do an anniversary dance to my mom and dads first dance song and they asked their baker to make a small cake just for my parents to take home. It was decorated with some edible silver accents and very pretty.

Dont change your date, that would be absurd. But keep in mind they may have planned to do something for the 1 year meaning the may have to miss your wedding.

You already signed the contract; don't change the date, it's not theirs forever. There are plenty of couples who can't celebrate their anniversary on the actual day. It's not a big deal.

I say keep your date. Especially because you have to go with a Sunday and you want the party feel of a weekend night reception of dancing, music, and going later into the evening which is difficult to do with a regular Sunday wedding, I definitely say stick to your date.

I think they may be feeling sensitive because they see that date as 'their' date and might have imagined what they'd do for their 1st anniversary, but, BUT they don't own the date and as good friends it might be nice to share your wedding anniversary together--think future vacations together to celebrate.

Unless there is another holiday weekend where you can get a Saturday night feel to a Sunday reception (Memorial Day?) I don't see any other choices. ETA: you signed a contract?? Oh yeah, definitely stick to your date. They're adults and can suck it up.