K
Beginner November 2019

Venting/advice *long post*

Kara, on May 23, 2019 at 1:06 PM Posted in Planning 0 16
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So I got engaged Dec 27th 2018 and FH and I were planning to get married this year. Then he lost his job and planning was put on hold and the date pushed back to sometime 2020. I had just gotten used to the idea of getting married at a later date when FH got a job and mentioned eloping (more microwedding as parents want to be there).
I suggested we table the "eloping" conversation until he's established (about a month in my mind) since the new job required him to move to a different state. I also wanted to make sure that he wasn't suggesting getting married sooner for the wrong reason (loneliness because of move)
He brought up the topic again 4 days after he moved. Him bring it up multiple times has started stressing me out and when I think about wedding planning I just feel extremely stressed.
I asked FH the other day if he had any ideas or desires for our day and aside from videographer capturing ceremony (for grandparents) he didn't really care. That stresses me out even more because I'm planning the whole thing by myself.
i have ideas of what I want: 20ish people max since I'd prefer friends being there vs just family
I've thought instead of reception doing a lunch or dinner at a restaurant
I've also thought about getting a non-wedding dress because I feel it would fit my style better
and a photographer to capture the ceremony
would something like that be doable to plan in 4-5 months (thinking October for wedding)?
would it be possible to plan this with a max budget of 2k?

16 Comments

Latest activity by D, on May 24, 2019 at 12:57 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    I think it would be a doable for a smaller guest list. Photographers and videographers typically offer elopement packages, however, I'm not sure what the cut off is as far as guest count. At what point are you just having a small wedding as opposed to eloping? Anyway, even for those, they're still going to charge a few hundred dollars each for an hour or two of coverage. Let's say you only spend $500 on the photographer and videographer combined. That gives you about $500 for a venue, attire, an officiant, decor, a cake if you'd like one, hair and/or makeup, and invitations. Then $1k for dinner, which could be cutting it close for 20 people (is that including you and FH?) for dinner and drinks. None of this is including accommodations if you're planning to book a hotel to get ready or travel at all, or rings.

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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I think if your max budget is 2k for everything, you’re going to need to do a lot of research. Videographers in my area for just ceremony coverage with little to no experience start at 1k. That’s half your budget. Let’s say you take everyone to lunch at a restaurant after and spend $25pp for lunch and drinks. That’s roughly $650 with 22 guests (you two included) and 15% gratuity (some restaurants charge more for larger parties). That would only leave you with $300 for dress/his attire and photographer, plus marriage license, officiant, ceremony location rental, and any extras that come up.
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  • Summerbride77
    VIP July 2019
    Summerbride77 ·
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    Echoing Sarah. Videographers can cost over $2k. A small wedding is definitely doable for $2K but you’ll have to get creative and be okay with cutting things (like professional videography).

    You’re on the right track with your ideas about a non-wedding dress and dinner at a restaurant.

    But I’ll also add not to rush into things. You don’t sound sold on the idea and it sounds like your FH is rushing the wedding up. Obviously, I get wanting to get married. But my FH and I have been in a similar spot, living together but not happy with where we were in life and look to grab onto the next thing. We talked about getting married at the courthouse a lot (we weren’t even engaged at the time) and I’m so happy we didn’t do it, we were rushing the wedding for the wrong reasons. Waiting let us enjoy the planning process and have a wedding that we are excited for. Rather than a wedding to give us something to be excited about. Does that make sense?
    • Reply
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
    • Flag
    I think it depends on the area I know we would not be able to do videographer,good and photographer in Cincinnati for that. Maybe if you did a cake and punch wedding.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    I think with a budget of $2,000 you are going to have a difficult time. In my area most videographers and photographers charge $2,000 for each service. As for dinner at a restaurant we are planning about $25 per person for our rehearsal dinner. You also have to consider where you plan on having the actual ceremony and if you want that area decoratored. Also, the cost of your dress and whatever your fiance plans on wearing. We with such a small guest list there are lots of things you have to take into consideration. I would do a lot of rehearsal before deciding on something.
    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted September 2019
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    I know it's frustrating, but lots of grooms don't have a lot of ideas or input. That doesn't meant they're not into it or doing it for the wrong reasons at all. I think some guys are just like that!

    You definitely CAN assign him tasks to do or things to research. Even if he is wishy-washy on decisions, he can help you be more prepared and get the info you need!

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  • K
    Beginner November 2019
    Kara ·
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    I want to marry him and if we had gotten engaged when he originally planned it would have been a year this October which is probably when we would have gotten married. We've talked about marriage a good bit before we were engaged. I mean yeah it feels like he's rushing it. I'm extremely stressed so that may be skewing how I'm viewing his request if that makes sense? Idk what to do about it though. And my current job ends at the end of the month which would give me time to plan the wedding (if we decide to do so this year) with some of the money I have saved up. Honestly idk if either of us will be excited about the wedding at this point, whether we wait or not. 😕
    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner November 2019
    Kara ·
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    That's definitely an idea. The only issue is that he works more than I do so I would have more free time to research and plan. I'm still going to try and find ways to get his imput though.
    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner November 2019
    Kara ·
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    The plan is to have our friend officiate. FH has what I've been thinking about for his attire. I'm researching videographers and photographers prices and other ways to cut cost. I appreciate the breakdown of the budget!
    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner November 2019
    Kara ·
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    We are planning to have a friend officiate, not doing a cake as FH doesn't like cake. His attire wouldn't cost as he has what I've been thinking he'd wear. I'd either do my own make up or have my sister do it. She'd also probably do my hair. I've thought about making my own invitations that would be a cost but not too expensive (I don't think). The main costs would be venue, food and the photography/videography. Which obviously are going to cost a good bit!
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    My fiance went through an unemployed phase then suggested eloping after too. He said he felt really self conscious about not having money to pay for what we/I wanted and he wanted to just get married and not worry about it anymore. I would suspect yours is feeling similar.
    As for 2k videography and photography start around 2k, I think 5 months for 20 people is enough but I think the budget is going to be a problem.
    • Reply
  • Monique
    Devoted August 2020
    Monique ·
    • Flag

    We're printing our own invitations on regular paper (it fits with our theme and neither of us find invitations to be an area to splurge) so it's definitely doable, especially with 20 guests and not every guest will have an invitation! You could also do evites. How do you feel about looking at unconventional venues? The zoo in my city is a possible venue option, plus it costs $250 for the day, which is great. For photographers, I talked to a few who charged $200-300 per hour. This way, you could have the ceremony and/or formals taken. You wouldn't have as many photos but you would have nice photos while saving money! For videography, same thing with photographer about key moments being filmed or you could have a trusted person to film it for you.

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  • K
    Beginner November 2019
    Kara ·
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    I wouldn't be surprised if that's part of it. I may have to adjust the budget.
    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner November 2019
    Kara ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I'm fine with unconventional venues. FH mentioned parks as an option. My goal would be to find something that works well for the amount of people and doesn't cost too much. I was going to check hourly rates for photography for sure because honestly photos of ceremony, first look, and with family/guests are all I want. Good idea for video!
    • Reply
  • Chrystal
    Super May 2019
    Chrystal ·
    • Flag
    I would look on Thumbtack for photographers. I found an inexpensive one for my courthouse wedding. Finding a videographer will be tougher. Have you considered using a fake go pro and a tripod
    • Reply
  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
    • Flag
    Thinking outside the box...
    Airbnb for 2 nights and see about hiring a private chef and an assistant for the dinner. Depending on your area it would be about $100-125 per hour for chef and assistant.
    Host the dinner and with chef, food/beverage costs, and mini stay-ca it would cost you about the same as going out to dinner. You might have to re arrange some furniture or bring in another table setting from somewhere but it would your own private venue. And an unfamiliar space to everyone. Might make it feel more special. Like I said, thinking outside the box.
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