VENT! Best Friend got invited to my wedding, but got married and didn't even tell me!

I would be hurt.

Wow. So sorry . ..maybe she just didn't get around to it and the others just "found out " somehow

Whatever decision she had made and I still would of helped. I also saw another friend is supposedly the God Mother! I really tried to be a good friend and help her out, knew she was stressed and now it just hurts. I obviously didn't say anything to her on her wedding day, but my mom seems to think I should write her tomorrow and tell her I am hurt about it. How would you all handle this? Should I say something? She is invited to my wedding and so is the husband and the baby. I know her Husband too.

I think you need to talk to her and find out the whole story first... but I would be super pissed and hurt at this point too

I would just let it go, and distance myself from that friend. :/ I know that is easier said then done, but there is only so much hurt I can take before, I reevaluate a friendship.

I would have a hard time even taking the effort an breath to talk to her if I were you. I would cease to exist in her life, but I tend to do that easily to people like her.

I would be extremely hurt as well. Keep your head up! Maybe it was a whim decision and they decided right then to go to the corthouse. I find out her side of the story first before anything else.

I agree with Elle. Clearly she doesn't really care that much about you. Distance yourself from her and let it go. That really sucks though, sorry she did this to you!

I would be hurt, but I would let it go and not mention it.

That is super hurtful.

She should have told you, but maybe felt really bad about it. Has she already received an invitation to your wedding? I see it is still several months away.

A good friend of mine had a baby and told me "I want you to be the God Mother but please don't tell this person or this person, because they would be hurt they weren't chosen".

I found out quite quickly that she had said the same thing to a few other people and essentially had 4 god mothers for her baby. She didnt even know what it meant, she wasn't intending it for religious purposes, or guardianship purposes.

I would have been hurt too, maybe it was just her family that attended?

I'm with the ladies above I would be hurt too especially if you guys claim to be close and you had just spoke with her. Do you like her husband? Maybe she thought you would have judged her maybe since your having a wedding and she just did courthouse .. Sorry that does suck !

We had talked about her wedding for a while and she mentioned courthouse and I said awesome, I even told her not to stress herself and make it super casual, she knew my feelings would not have been hurt if she said she didn't want anyone there. Her immediate family and his were probably there I assume. On FB however another friend commented and said " Sorry I couldn't be there for your special day." I know her wedding for a fact was super informal so I would not have cared either way. It also was not a last minute decision because I went on her sister's FB and the friend that posted " Sorry I couldn't make it." She definitely knew she was getting married at least a week before today and I talked her only two days ago. Me and her Husband have no problem he really likes me and my FH we are all friends and they were both invited to my engagement party so the friendship has been great. It just sucks because I feel like I am being used now especially for a free baby shower cake, like was that all I was to her?

Yikes I understand now. Yeah I would feel used too.

Yea it just hurts because I also was the first one to find out she was pregnant and she had shared a lot of information early on with me especially about the baby like names and ideas and stuff. I thought for sure she would of told me this, but maybe she told everyone else too because of the excitement. I think I am definitely going to just mention it and see if she had any valid reasons and then figure out where we stand after. I have a feeling though it won't be good. Thanks for all the advice!

I'm sorry you are going through this.

It doesn't sound like this is the case, but let me throw something at you:

My BFF lives 2 hours away. A couple years ago, she was planning her wedding when she was notified her dad had days to live (he'd been very sick and took a turn for the worse). She picked up her dress and got married in her dad's hospital room.

I didn't find out until the next day on FB. I was hurt. I didn't even get to talk to her until 2 days later when she called me in tears that her dad had passed.

Once my BFF was able to explain (she didn't call me because she was swamped with family) it was better. She had a vow renewal last year that I was MOH in.

My point: try talking to your friend. There may be a reason she didn't contact you that was out of her control. It sounds like you value her friendship.

I have a co-worker who just got married and didn't tell anyone. They got pregnant, and needed to get married for health insurance. She has barely told anyone (not even family) about this. She still wants to get engaged and have a "real" wedding. Maybe the situation is similar with your best friend. Try and think about it from her perspective, but definitely let her know that this hurt you. :/

That really sucks. Yeah I would just find out her side of things and say something like "Oh congrats, I guess we have some catching up to do!" and then if she acts weird/distant/not sensitive to your feelings then I would ditch her.

If this woman was your best friend, there is no reason for her to ditch you like that. A phone call only takes 2 mins, even in an emergency. I have put myself in her situation to try to justify her behaviour. Not cool, especially knowing how you felt about supporting her with a court house wedding. Everybody reacts to life events differently, but if it were me I'd put away my mixing bowl. Let one of her other godmothers, or friends deal with the cake. I wouldn't even call her. She dogged you out full stop. She ended that friendship with her behaviour not you. Some folks won't agree with me, you asked opinions and this is mine. Good luck with everything and take care.

I would be super hurt especially since you had just talked to her.

My FH has a friend that had a shotgun wedding with out telling anyone and they just changed their status on FB, people were saying "sorry we couldnt be there!" but we know for a fact that no one but their families were invited and maybe her BFFs, so i wouldnt assume that the people writing that were invited. My FH friend did not have any of his friends there and didnt tell anyone that they were having a wedding anytime soon, My FH was hurt but got over it ( they had been super close in college but grew apart).

i agree with @Michy604 - if she acts weird then she knew what she did was going to hurt your feelings.

OOH and My BFF eloped and didnt tell anyone other than me and her grooms parents and sister, there were only the 5 of us there and people on FB after were saying that they wish they could have been there.

it could have just been like my BFF wanted and didnt want anyone to know so that everyone was in the same position when they found out.

But she could have called you before putting it on Facebook

ETA: i am sure that people were hurt with my BFF's elopement. But i wouldn't automatically write her off, i think everyone else was just as surprised as you that she got married and that was just their way of saying that they would have wanted to be there.