SoonToBeAWitherspoon
Devoted August 2017

Unwanted guest at wedding

SoonToBeAWitherspoon, on September 8, 2016 at 2:02 AM Posted in Planning 0 49
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Would you be furious if people including family that you did not invite shows up at the wedding? I invited family members who I talk to and didn't go mia.. but you know when it's a wedding everybody all of a sudden wants to be invited... my sister went to a wedding last month and said unwanted guest showed up and the bride and groom were mad because more money had to come out the pockets and the plates were 70 per person... how could you avoid that situation

49 Comments

  • O&L
    VIP September 2016
    O&L ·
    • Flag

    If anyone who are not invited show up at my wedding, they are going to have a bad time because there is no way in hell I will make seat for them or pay for their food. They can all stand around and stare at me for all I care.

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  • Mrs.Anthony 2 Be
    Savvy March 2017
    Mrs.Anthony 2 Be ·
    • Flag

    I would be mad as hell! The way I'm trying to avoid the issue is... I'm making a guest list and will give it to the hostess and only allow invitation only... If they have a problem with that security will be at the door and they will not be let in! I refuse to pay for more people than I plan. And It's disrespectful that they go against the bride and grooms wishes

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  • Deanna
    Devoted January 2017
    Deanna ·
    • Flag

    That is one of my BIGGEST fears. My sisters can't stand me and we haven't spoken in years, and have really ignorant things about my FH (they don't know him, never talked to him or seen him) However, they keep asking my mom if they can come to the wedding!!!??? Like wtf? Hell no. I'm making it very clear to everyone that if you're not invited you'll be out the door. Im going to follow up the RSVPs twice so they have no excuse to show up when they confirmed they weren't comming. End Rant.

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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
    • Flag

    If uninvited guests show up, they won't have an escort card or a seat, so I'm sure they'll get the message that way.

    • Reply
  • #AllAboutTheRichardsons2018
    Expert September 2018
    #AllAboutTheRichardsons2018 ·
    • Flag

    All i can say is I wish someone would show up uninvited...They gonna wish they never did..security will be exiting them right out the door..

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  • Sam
    Super October 2016
    Sam ·
    • Flag

    Well if they're not invited I doubt they'll know where and what time the wedding is. Plus they won't have a seat. So oh well for them.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP July 2016
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    This was one of my biggest worries. My mother kept insisting that her siblings be invited, but we were having a small wedding. We invited my DH's God parents, but they're also an aunt and uncle... and they were the only ones we invited. It was a valid fear that my mother would invite people I didn't invite, as she invited her siblings to go to my sister's rehersal dinner, and my mom wasn't paying for it. My sister was.

    eta: As we were going to take a steam train up to the riverboat, I was going to hand out 'train tickets' as favors, and have each passenger checked off the list. So no extras would be allowed.

    As I had a BBQ, I'm not sure how I would have taken this... If I was able to go with our original plan, which was a river boat cruise, they would have been left behind. It would have been very embarrassing for my mother, as I would have put it completely on her shoulders to explain why they couldn't come.

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  • T
    Savvy October 2017
    Terry ·
    • Flag

    My plan for this is to have someone at the door so if ur name is not on the guest list u can't go in, I am not paying for unwanted guest .

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  • Brianna
    Dedicated November 2016
    Brianna ·
    • Flag

    Unpopular opinion here: It really would not bother me. But we didn't do RSVP's, and the wedding is in the evening after the time when I full meal is required. The caterer is making finger foods and a lot of them, we have more than enough desserts planned. I'm not worried about this at all, I just feel the more the merrier!

    • Reply
  • MNBride
    Master June 2017
    MNBride ·
    • Flag

    MrsAnthony it's also disrespectful to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception.

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  • BicycleBuiltForTwo
    Master September 2016
    BicycleBuiltForTwo ·
    • Flag

    We've had a couple joke about crashing our wedding, and I won't care at all. We couldn't invite everyone we wanted. Some people got left off the list. It won't be a big deal to us. I don't think they will, because they have more sense than that.

    Now, I have 1 family member who was specifically not invited. If he shows up I will be calling the police and having him escorted out. I don't think that'll happen either.

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  • Private_User832
    Master August 2017
    Private_User832 ·
    • Flag

    I would have someone at the door so there are no issues

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  • JoRocka
    Master September 2016
    JoRocka ·
    • Flag

    I have friends threatening to crash. But there isn't really room. I have set tables there won't be space for them. FH would fucking lose his shit I think. He already ripped his sister and his mom a new asshole for the plus one she helped to herself invite. So yeah it would not end well.

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  • Celia Milton
    December 2019
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    I've never seen this happen. Who would even do this?

    • Reply
  • Lauren17
    Master July 2017
    Lauren17 ·
    • Flag

    I can't even imagine something like this happening lol If you do not get an invite you don't just show up and how would they even know the details? I would think nothing like this would ever happen in my circle and if they came they'd have nowhere to sit.

    • Reply
  • Kimi
    Master August 2016
    Kimi ·
    • Flag

    This was never even on my radar. The guest list was the guest list. Family & friends knew we were hosting the amount of people we could afford.

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  • Laura
    Master July 2017
    Laura ·
    • Flag

    Wait - people actually have security/doormen at weddings? I've never shown up uninvited (no way!) but I've also never had to prove I'm on a guest list. That sounds equally tacky to me.

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  • Caitlin
    Master July 2017
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag

    I was actually just talking to a guy who crashes weddings over the weekend and he said he only does it for very large weddings and finds out about them through announcements in the paper or signs at hotels (I told him he needs to find a hobby) but he waits until 10 minutes after the big wave of people go in and then looks at the leftover escort cards and takes it in to that table since generally its a table full of people who don't know each other. Seems like too much work for me.

    But I can't believe people actually go to weddings of people they know uninvited. For us we have small venues so if anyone shows up uninvited they won't have a seat or food.

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  • WhitneyYvonne
    Super January 2017
    WhitneyYvonne ·
    • Flag

    We're worried about one of FH great aunts just showing up, we didn't invite her because she's rude and makes everyone feel uncomfortable and he's not close with her. However, she also feels like she always needs to be the center of attention, and her not being invited is gonna infuriate her. We are gonna have some people on look out for her and if she shows up they'll ask her to leave. If she refuses we'll call the cops. So I totally understand being concerned. I'm not sure the best way to avoid the situation in your case. If you don't have any total crazies then you wouldn't need cops. Maybe require people to bring their invitation? I'm not sure

    • Reply
  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
    • Flag

    @Brianna - how will your caterer know how much food to prepare if people don't respond and let you know whether or not they can come? How will you make sure you have enough tables and seats for everyone?

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