Unwanted guest at wedding

I am nervous of this also. My FSIL said she wasn't coming and if she did it would be to ruin the day. But I am afraid she will show up anyway and throw a fit because we didn't include her and her husband. I believe the threat too. The drama is SOOOO REAL with that one.

This is also a big fear of mine. We live in an area where RSVP's are almost non existent. A good bit of my parents acquaintances believe they will be invited. My fear is when they don't receive an invitation but one of their friends does they will they think it is okay to show up. We will live in a small town so news of when and where won't be a secret. We are asking the country club to have an attendant at the area where the seating chart is located. If they see a guests that can't find their name they will help them and if that guests is not on the list they will explain there is only room for those that RSVP. It won't be necessary to kick them out... they will get the point.

@WhitneyYvonne We have almost an identical situation with my FH's great aunt. She's a miserable person and at his brothers wedding people were literally dodging her because she was such a Debbie downer and was rude to everybody she came

in contact with, plus is known for stealing from parties she attends. Her mom is coming though and I'm scared she'll tag along with her. Honestly it wouldn't ruin my wedding, but I would feel so sorry for those that had to come in contact with her.

We paid for 180 chairs and have 180 attending. I will not be paying for extra food or chairs. Our DOC will have a list of people that RSVPd. She said she will stand by the escort cards to help people find their table. If they aren't on the list she will show them the door. If they can't find the door on their own...security will!

My mom was just telling me a story recently about when she and my dad got married - he invited one of his friends from a previous job, who responded to the RSVP that he would not be attending. The day of their wedding, not only did the friend show up, but he brought 7 other people who they did not know.

So yeah, it does happen.

It does happened and I have seen it. At my friend wedding, there were random couple on the dance floor being all nasty and everyone assume someone know them. Well my friend was watching her wedding video months later and was so mad. They were not anyone guests. No one know them. They decided to just walk in and dance.

I love this thread!!! I think it is extremely inconsiderate and rude for someone to show up if they weren't invited. What about the people who do get invited but refuse to RSVP how does everyone feel about those type of guest??? Some guest tend to feel that they are VIP so they do not need to RSVP, and they just show up anyway. I am going to have two hostess at the front with the guest list of everyone who RSVP. The reason why I am doing it this way is because what if a guest who did RSVP doesn't have a seat because of guest who didn't take 2 minutes out of their busy lives to RSVP. Shit like this really drives me crazy I have seen it happen at weddings before and the bride and groom had to come out of pocket.

I went to a wedding where a girl kept nudging the bride like "my invite must be lost in the mail..." when she wasn't invited. This wasn't a close friend of the bride or groom, just someone from high school. Then when they never sent her an invite she asked someone who WAS invited if she could ride with them. She sat right behind FH and I at the ceremony and I was side-eyeing her the whole time. So yes, it does happen. People are so tactless.

I don't care if someone showed up AFTER dinner to dance and party...but if they showed up for the whole thing without an invite I'd be pissed.

I would be mad as well, but you cannot control what others will do. If some unwanted guests show up, stick them in the back and explain they will not be able to have dinner. May be a bit harsh, but at the same time, it was rude of them to show up in the first place.

For those of you having someone at the door - are you going to have guests bring their invitations or just show ID?

This is a big fear of mine. What's funny is my cousins offered to be bouncers at my wedding and I had not mentioned this fear to them.

I have two people in particular that are NOT invited that I am afraid will show up. My uncle's ex-wife and her 2 kids, and my brother's baby mama. My mom keeps saying, "Well, just assume they are going to show up." Uhhhhhh. NOPE. I don't want them there. It's rude to just show up where you are unwanted, especially at a wedding where we are paying per person since they are essentially asking us to pay more money just because they are rude and tacky.

I personally will go out there are ask them to leave if they show up. It will be entertaining to watch them have to get up and walk to their cars in front of everyone.

I saw this on Pinterest and think it's awesome! I wouldn't really care honestly. I know there will be people that RSVP and still not show, so I'm sure it'll be fine!

People piss me off sometimes. Everyone wants a free party always. I would hire a security and throw them out, how do people have the audacity to come univited to a wedding. That would piss me off. It's disrespectful.

I have a girlfriend who was my BFF and we stopped talking because she got involved in some mess of a relationship and abuser and is hiding something. We don't talk right now. If she showed up with her SO I would be so livid.

@Renny that's just so awesome! Lol I still would be pissed if someone showed up who was funny but I didn't like them

@Almost Mrs. Dowell, yeah if I didn't like them it may have a different effect I guess. I actually invited a friend of mine who's wife has been nothing but rude to me for yrs. I personally wish he would come without her but I didn't want to be rude to him by not inviting her too. So I may have that situation either way. Lol

Not gonna let it ruin my day! Lol

I have a friend from college who I was close to back then but haven't seen in the 10+ years since. She has no social skills. She actually crashed the family viewing of a 4 year old's funeral. No condolences. No apologies to the parents for showing up during family time, just "I wish we were as close as we used to be! We need to do lunch. How's next week?" WTH!!!

An hour after I put the engagement up on Facebook, the texting started. "Why didn't I get a phone call? I'm going to be in the wedding. I see your date is set for 10/1." Yeah, we never announced a date. As soon as she saw that I was engaged, she started going online to all the wedding websites and any place we might register and started stalking us.

We are having a VERY small wedding. Close family and friends only. She is not invited. I made it very clear to her before I blocked her from all social media and my cell phone, that she is not invited. Last week she texted my mother and a couple of old college friends to get the details because she is planning driving the 5 hours to come. They all told her that she is not invited.

We are planning on her showing up. My mother says that the polite thing to do is to welcome her in and find a seat for her... I disagree and there are zero seats. We are at capacity for our tables.

I went to a wedding a couple of weeks ago where 3 distant relatives showed up uninvited and asked if they could stay for meal. She let them as some invited guests were no shows but I would not have been so polite...

@Kyeisha - the more important question I have for you is, why are you discussing the guest list and "inviting people" when your wedding is a year away?

To answer your question of how to avoid that situation, here's how:

- Stop talking about the wedding to people except your FH and your parents (that's IF your parents are paying for it).

- When you send out your invitations (which won't be until 6-8 weeks before the wedding), you address it to only those who you plan on inviting and have a line on the RSVP card that says ___ seats have been reserved in your honor (you fill in the number).

- If and when someone responds with more people than is reserved you simply let them know "hey, glad you're able to make it but I only have room for you and your boyfriend, I can't accommodate your (kids, friends, whoever else they wanted to invite).

- Addressing an invitation to a couple with kids? Make sure only the adults names are on the invite: Mr. & Mrs. Smith or Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith (if you're inviting the entire family, then it's The Smith Family or Mr. & Mrs. Smith & Family).

- If you do not get an RSVP from someone before your numbers are due to the venue/caterer, then you call those guests and tell them you need a firm yes or no.

That's it.