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Just Said Yes October 2021

Unsure about bridesmaid

Sarah, on December 15, 2020 at 8:17 PM Posted in Planning 0 12
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So I have a friend lets call her ana...I've made at work. Ana & I have been friends about 3 years now and we hang out and talk often. And I want to make her a bridesmaid but there's things I'm concerned about. 1st she recently had a baby and she isn't working so I'm worried that being a bridesmaid might be a financial burden for her as well as being a new mom it may be overwhelming. 2. When we hang out its mainly hanging out with another girl from work (let's call her Jo) but Jo and I aren't that close. We get along just fine and there's no drama or anything I just feel more comfortable with Ana. But I worry that we are such a trio (Ana & I have only hung out alone twice otherwise its always as a group) that I worry Jo may take it rudely and it becomes drama that we don't have.
Lastly we have been friends for only a few years whereas my other bridesmaids and I go Waaaay back so I worry if its too new? Should I just ask Ana to be a reader or ask her to be an attendent or ask her to be a bridesmaid?


Latest activity by Maggie, on December 16, 2020 at 12:20 PM
  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    I have been asked to be a Bridesmaid after knowing someone for a few months. We're still friends 7 years later. Y depends on your friendship with her. If you feel she's a good friend I would ask and let her make the decision. She doesn't need to say yes.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Master October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    An attendant and bridesmaid/groomsman is the same thing. That role is reserved for your bestest closest inner circle of friends/family.

    Honestly I would just invite her as a guest if you are super close to her and want her to share in the day. That is a huge honor on its own. If you don't hang out with the other woman at all and aren't remotely close, no need to invite her. Weddings are expensive so only invite those you can't imagine the day without and coworkers are usually first to be cut from the guestlist.
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Savvy November 2021
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    I would have them attend as guest! I totally understand what you mean and it you don't want to hurt anyones feelings. It's always a safe choice just to invite them to the wedding!
    • Reply
  • Jamie
    Dedicated July 2021
    Jamie ·
    • Flag
    I definitely feel like it's more about the relationship more than the length of it. My FH had only been friends with someone for a few months who asked him to be a groomsmen in his wedding. That was like 10 years ago and they are best friends to this day- and said friend will be the best man in our wedding. If you feel you want her to be there with you on your day, then you should ask. I don't see an issue with it at all.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    I would just invite her to the wedding. You made several great points on her being a new mom & the financial burden it might put on her.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I would just invite her as a guest too. if you're feeling doubtful about asking her then it's more of a sign not to

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I personally would only invite her as a guest.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Invite her as a guest.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Super August 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    Hi Sarah! I suggest asking yourself “if my husband and I were in trouble, real trouble, would I reach out to these ladies for advice?” I’m blessed with wonderful girlfriends, some closer than others. Those I chose were the ones I could confide in my darkest hour and are life long friends. Hope this helps ❤️
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    If you want her to be a bridesmaid then ask her if she would be interested. You're not obligated to make the other girl a bridesmaid if you don't want her as one. It doesn't matter if your other bridesmaids go wayyyy back because friendship isn't about how long you've known someone, people seem to think that for some reason.

    Just let her know that you understand if she wants to just be a guest because of her situation
    • Reply
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
    • Flag

    Everyone here has made great points! The length of time that you've known someone has little to do with picking your bridal party. Only one of my ladies has known me since we were little, one has been a close friend for a few years, the other two I've gotten close to this year only! I have friends that I've known since birth, but they aren't in my bridal party because our friendship isn't as strong as the ones I chose.

    Don't feel like you're obligated to make Jo a bridesmaid just because you want Ana to be one! I was a bridesmaid for one girl and she isn't a bridesmaid for me! I also have a bm who has a sister that I also grew up with, but the sister isn't one of my bm's because I'm not close to her at all.

    Have a talk with her and express that you would love to have her in your bridal party, but due to all that she has going on, you understand if she's uncomfortable doing so.

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie Online ·
    • Flag

    It honestly sounds to me like you aren't that close with Ana ("Ana & I have only hung out alone twice otherwise its always as a group"), which should be the guide for choosing your wedding party. None of the other factors (her baby, the other friend) are particularly relevant.

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