Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes October 2021

Unsure about bridesmaid

Sarah, on December 15, 2020 at 8:17 PM Posted in Planning 0 12

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hello,

So I have a friend lets call her ana...I've made at work. Ana & I have been friends about 3 years now and we hang out and talk often. And I want to make her a bridesmaid but there's things I'm concerned about. 1st she recently had a baby and she isn't working so I'm worried that being a bridesmaid might be a financial burden for her as well as being a new mom it may be overwhelming. 2. When we hang out its mainly hanging out with another girl from work (let's call her Jo) but Jo and I aren't that close. We get along just fine and there's no drama or anything I just feel more comfortable with Ana. But I worry that we are such a trio (Ana & I have only hung out alone twice otherwise its always as a group) that I worry Jo may take it rudely and it becomes drama that we don't have.
Lastly we have been friends for only a few years whereas my other bridesmaids and I go Waaaay back so I worry if its too new? Should I just ask Ana to be a reader or ask her to be an attendent or ask her to be a bridesmaid?

Flag
Hide content

12 Comments

Latest activity by Maggie, on December 16, 2020 at 12:20 PM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 15, 2020 at 8:52 PM
Flag

Hide content
I have been asked to be a Bridesmaid after knowing someone for a few months. We're still friends 7 years later. Y depends on your friendship with her. If you feel she's a good friend I would ask and let her make the decision. She doesn't need to say yes.
- Reply
Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on December 15, 2020 at 9:00 PM
Flag

Hide content
An attendant and bridesmaid/groomsman is the same thing. That role is reserved for your bestest closest inner circle of friends/family.

Honestly I would just invite her as a guest if you are super close to her and want her to share in the day. That is a huge honor on its own. If you don't hang out with the other woman at all and aren't remotely close, no need to invite her. Weddings are expensive so only invite those you can't imagine the day without and coworkers are usually first to be cut from the guestlist.
- Reply
Savvy November 2021
Erin · on December 15, 2020 at 9:05 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would have them attend as guest! I totally understand what you mean and it you don't want to hurt anyones feelings. It's always a safe choice just to invite them to the wedding!
- Reply
Dedicated July 2021
Jamie · on December 15, 2020 at 9:13 PM
Flag

Hide content
I definitely feel like it's more about the relationship more than the length of it. My FH had only been friends with someone for a few months who asked him to be a groomsmen in his wedding. That was like 10 years ago and they are best friends to this day- and said friend will be the best man in our wedding. If you feel you want her to be there with you on your day, then you should ask. I don't see an issue with it at all.
- Reply
Master April 2021
Michelle · on December 15, 2020 at 10:14 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would just invite her to the wedding. You made several great points on her being a new mom & the financial burden it might put on her.
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on December 15, 2020 at 10:41 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would just invite her as a guest too. if you're feeling doubtful about asking her then it's more of a sign not to
- Reply
Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on December 15, 2020 at 10:52 PM
Flag

Hide content
I personally would only invite her as a guest.
- Reply
Master 0000
Judith · on December 16, 2020 at 12:10 AM
Flag

Hide content
Invite her as a guest.
- Reply
VIP August 2020
Katie · on December 16, 2020 at 7:40 AM
Flag

Hide content
Hi Sarah! I suggest asking yourself “if my husband and I were in trouble, real trouble, would I reach out to these ladies for advice?” I’m blessed with wonderful girlfriends, some closer than others. Those I chose were the ones I could confide in my darkest hour and are life long friends. Hope this helps ❤️
- Reply
Master October 2020
Yasmine · on December 16, 2020 at 7:41 AM
Flag

Hide content
If you want her to be a bridesmaid then ask her if she would be interested. You're not obligated to make the other girl a bridesmaid if you don't want her as one. It doesn't matter if your other bridesmaids go wayyyy back because friendship isn't about how long you've known someone, people seem to think that for some reason.

Just let her know that you understand if she wants to just be a guest because of her situation
- Reply
Master January 2022
SLY · on December 16, 2020 at 9:05 AM
Flag

Hide content
Everyone here has made great points! The length of time that you've known someone has little to do with picking your bridal party. Only one of my ladies has known me since we were little, one has been a close friend for a few years, the other two I've gotten close to this year only! I have friends that I've known since birth, but they aren't in my bridal party because our friendship isn't as strong as the ones I chose.
Don't feel like you're obligated to make Jo a bridesmaid just because you want Ana to be one! I was a bridesmaid for one girl and she isn't a bridesmaid for me! I also have a bm who has a sister that I also grew up with, but the sister isn't one of my bm's because I'm not close to her at all.
Have a talk with her and express that you would love to have her in your bridal party, but due to all that she has going on, you understand if she's uncomfortable doing so.
- Reply

VIP January 2019
Maggie · on December 16, 2020 at 12:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
It honestly sounds to me like you aren't that close with Ana ("Ana & I have only hung out alone twice otherwise its always as a group"), which should be the guide for choosing your wedding party. None of the other factors (her baby, the other friend) are particularly relevant.
- Reply

5 Ways to Choose Bridesmaid Dresses Your 'Maids Will Want to Re-Wear — Bride & Bridesmaids 5 Ways to Choose Bridesmaid Dresses Your 'Maids Will Want to... Wondering how to find bridesmaid dresses you can actually wear again? Trust us...

Wedding Party The 40 Best Bridesmaid Gifts to Say Thanks to Your BFFs Your besties have had your back since the day you asked them to join your "I do"...

Wedding Party The Indispensable Guide to Bridesmaid Gift Etiquette Not sure how much to spend on bridal party gifts? How about where to buy them?...

Post content has been hidden

Unsure about bridesmaid

12 Comments

Related articles