Unsupportive matron of honor

In my opinion, I think that's pretty crappy. My maid of honor had successfully planned the bachelorette party and already made arrangements to come in town for the bridal shower, rehearsal and wedding. As well as coming in to take me out one more time. I think accepting a MOH position you should be more involved.

@Melissa, as others have already stated, as a member of the bridal party, your only obligation is to show up in the agreed upon attire. You don't HAVE to do anything else. Anything else you decide to do is simply your choice, and an extra for the bride and groom.

Nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do. People still have lives, and those lives don't stop because someone else is getting married.

Melissa, please lurk more. The "position" of MOH is a way for the bride to honour her closest person. Not the other way around.

Fire her. And while you're out it, get a legal separation from her so that you're no longer considered family. She clearly is not worthy of your love and affection, nor your time. Disown her now.

"Accepting a MOH position"? Did you accept resumes? Hold interviews? This is supposed to be the person (other than your future spouse) closest to you, not a glitter covered slave.

It sounds like you had unrealistic expectations of your wedding, as many brides seem to. I do wonder though, after you asked your bridal party privately what their dress budget was, why she complained after (I assume) you chose a dress within all of their budgets?

I already know my sister isn't going to do much of anything for my wedding. And I don't care. She's still my sister and my MOH. Just because you have bestowed this title upon her does not mean you should be pressuring her into doing things for your wedding.

How do you know her heart isn't in it? Have you talked to her?

Melissa, just...no.

No.

Who expects their BM to pay $170 plus alterations for a dress they'll never wear again and didn't even pick out. Holy crap!

The only duty she has is to be there sober (though for you, I give her a pass on that part) in the overly expensive dress on your wedding day.

Chill out, stop behaving so poorly, and let her be. Damn.

Your sister is having surgery and, regardless if it's minor surgery or not, you're more concerned with her heart not being in your wedding?

Hmm...

My sister is younger than me and I still picked her to be my MOH.

You want to know why?

SHE IS IMPORTANT TO ME AND I WOULD BE HONORED TO HAVE HER BY MY SIDE AT MY WEDDING.

End of story.

She hasn't helped once with decorations, vendors, planning parties, etc. but I don't care because I am happy she is going to be by my side. If I asked, she would help...but it's MY wedding...not hers- so I don't expect her to.

I think you need to just need to repeat the sacred motto: No one will care about my wedding as much as I do.

MNA, remember the $600 gold dresses?

@Holly: OMG how could I forget?! O_O;;;;

Omg. My sisters didn't help plan my Bach or bridal shower because they couldn't afford it. I paid for their dresses ($99, by the way).

I only wanted my sisters to stand by my side when I married the man I love. If one of them was having surgery and also asked to step down, I would absolutely be concerned with THEM, not the wedding.

Wtf is wrong with people?

ETA: my friend planned my Bach and my aunt planned my shower- I did not plan these events myself.

Uhhhh, do you hear yourself, OP?! She's HAVING SURGERY and you didn't mention asking about her health or supporting her. You just sound annoyed that she's dropping out. And, $170 is really freaking expensive for a dress. If you just chose a dress without your bridal party's input that's on you. As others have said, she's obligated to do nothing but stand by you, sober, in a dress you mutually chose. Maybe ask her about herself once in awhile instead of being so self-obsessed.

Woof. Bridesmaids are not glitter slaves. They are your friends. That's all they need to be.

How long till OP or some white knight call us bullies?

Way to post and ghost OP

Uh hello if I make pulled chicken for a shower I'm bringing home the left overs too! That's my pulled chicken!

Your MOH isn't your slave. She's your sister and you should be more concerned about her surgery, minor or not, than your wedding. My sister went in for a "minor" surgery to get a keloid removed from her ear and almost DIED when the anesthesiologist put a tube down her throat to put her all the way under when she was suppose to be in a twilight sleep which caused her to choke, throw up, and get the liquid lodged in her lungs. Be thankful your sister wanted to stand by your side on your wedding day.