Unsupportive matron of honor

So what if your sis/MOH has done nothing to help you? She isn't required to. As long as she shows up to rehearsal, and then the wedding in her dress, that's all she needs to do. Did you ask her what her budget was before going dress shopping? Have you actually talked to her?

You're not going to like what you're about to hear, sweetie.

As a 3-star, you should know the ropes by now. Don't be surprised by the non-sugarcoated responses you're about to get.

This can't NOT be a troll...

She asked to drop out and what happened? You told her no and now you want to fire her? That makes you look like the bad guy,

you should have let her go when she asked.

Your MOH is under no obligation to help with your wedding. No-one will be as excited as you about it. Did you ask her for her budget before choosing the dress? You're annoyed over leftover chicken? This is your sister. She just had surgery. She asked to be out of the wedding and you said no?

I predict awkward family dinners for the next...well your whole life.

Following, I just hope its here in the morning when I get up...

Mmmm popcorn!

Wow! So much no. First, did you ask the budget of your BMs before picking a $170 dress? Maybe with this surgery she is finding that she cannot afford to be in your wedding? Have you actually talked to your sister without the wedding coming up? It sounds as though there's a lot going on behind the scenes of her life and all you're worried about is how it affects your wedding.

Second, no one should be doing or paying for anything for your wedding except you and your FH/FW.

Third, no one cares as much about your wedding as you do.

Too much for a dress, for starters...

She doesn't need to do anything.

And how she deals with her surgery, minor or not, is not your decision.

I say this with 100% good intentions but you sounds like you are moving into bridezilla territory. Rarely people mean to be awful to their loved ones, but it's very easy to get swept up into wedding planning.

Try taking a step back. Do something non-related with your sister. Try to be a supportive sister about her upcoming surgery. Even if it's minor surgery, it's still probably something she is stressing about.

As frustrating as it is, she cares enough to ask to step down. I know it's hard, but it sounds like she is going through some stuff and might need your support right now. Don't be the bride, just be her sister for a moment and talk to her about her life. Surgery, no matter how minor can be stressful, and it could be an indicator of other problems. Good luck

Way to post and ghost. Congrats! You're about to earn your 'Troll' badge.

I'd just talk to her, as your sister, and KINDLY tell her the choice is hers. That while you'd love for her to participate, you don't want her to feel pressured to do so. If she isn't into it, she may just back out and that won't look bad on you. Otherwise, don't take her out. She's your SISTER. Don't put extra effort into her participating but if she shows up, wears he dress, and walks down the aisle then let her. At this point it's not going to cost you more to let her or give you any extra trouble.

What Nessa said.

Woooof. There's a whole lotta nope in this post.

I would drop out of your wedding too if I threw you a shower and then you complained about how I wasn't helping you.

I think sometimes wedding planning can cloud our judgment if we let it. Take a step back and consider how you would feel if the tables were turned. Really try to look at things from her perspective. If this kind of behavior is unusual for her, you really need to have a talk without bringing up your expectations of her as your MOH. Just find out what's bothering her. You do not want to kick her out, and if she's threatening to not participate anymore, there's probably a reason for it. Find out what's going on with her as her sister, not as the bride.

Ok.

1. "So, my sister is my MOH and she has done nothing to help with the wedding."

*Your sister/MOH doesn't have to help with the wedding. All she has to do is show up in the dress.*

2. "My other bridesmaids have told me she has even complained about the money she spent for the dress! ($170.00)"

*Did you talk budget first? $170 is really expensive for a dress they're going to wear one time.*

3. "She asked to drop out of the wedding last month because she is getting minor surgery and will have a small scar that will be visible. I feel like she just doesn't want to be in the wedding. Our wedding is 19 days away, should I just tell her not to participate since her heart isn't into it?"

*Surgery is a scary thing, minor or not. Even minor procedures go wrong all the time. As far as the scar goes, coming from someone who HAS scars that are visible when I perform...even though they're small, it still makes me ridiculously uncomfortable.

If she doesn't want to be in the wedding, you should allow her to step down. Don't fire her. Give her the choice. Let her know that while you'd love her to be in the wedding, you understand, and would rather she be comfortable.

Settle down. Its just a wedding. If you kick her out, you could lose your sister.

ETA: Clarity

Bridesmaids are not slaves.