Uninvited to wedding reception due to capacity- what's proper response as a guest

Okay, rethinking. A call is a requirement; if they are that close, i'm sure (or I hope) the friend feels badly about this; they may have bowed to family pressure (and family checkbooks...) There is definitely a more gracious way they could have handled this, but keep us posted.

OMG, I would pick up the phone and call them directly. This is beyond rude and ridiculous.

Keep us updated. If love to know what the guy says!

Wow.... so incredibly rude. I would be not only mad at the loss of money on my part, but hurt to feel so disposable to someone I consider a good friend. I agree a phone call is in order. I probably wouldn't want to go after that.

This is definitely unbelievably rude without a doubt.

I would definitely discuss it with your husband and make the phone call together. You should let your husband do the talking since the couple is more of his friend. I would offer them two choices either 1) let you guys come to the reception since you have non-refundable tickets or 2) have the couple pay for those non-refundable tickets (highly unlikely but worth a shot).

Lastly, the groom/freelance photographer shouldn't be crashing at your home anymore or at least charge him from now on until you recoup the loss.

That is so rude! I could never imagine doing this to any of my guests and would feel so embarrassed and ashamed if I did this! I think Christine gave excellent advice. Even if I called and explained that I already purchased nonrefundable plane tickets, a rental car, and a hotel room and they were sympathetic and re-invited me, I don't think I'd go to the wedding, but would just make a mini vacation out of it instead since I've already plopped the money on it.

Dang!! Supe lame!! They shouldn't have invited more people than their venue could hold! To me, that seems kinda rude to be like oh now you're uninvited to the reception...eek, they should have found a different venue and just change the venue, if it was possible! Sorry that happened to you. Not sure if there's an appropriate response

I agree that since you've already put money down you should go to the city, but make a vacation out of it and NOT attend. Have a fun night on the town the night of the wedding with your hubby. Go see a show, go dancing...something. Where's the wedding?

I don't have anything else to contribute but I am definitely interested in the outcome.

Update: my husband gave the groom-to-be a call and he blamed the email on his fiancé. He said he didn't know it had been sent until this morning. He said they are in a bind because they over invited and are now about 20 people over capacity for the reception, but he said that we are still on the list for the reception since we rsvpd before the deadline. I suppose he was being sincere, or he may have come up with that answer after being put on the spot. I guess the easiest thing to do in a bind is blame it on the bride.

Second update: the groom to be called us back and said that the reason we got the email is they had multiple email addresses for us and they didn't remove all of our addresses from the list when they created a message that was supposed to go to people who hadn't RSVP'd on time. I still think it's a little tacky to send out a message like that even to people who didn't make the deadline but I suppose we will still attend the wedding and reception. Oh and the wedding is in Atlanta.

It's still really f#$%@@cked up that this is the way they chose to deal with it. It says a lot about them.

Dumbass.

This is why I am against having an A and B list. Clearly they sent out the A list. When they didn't get enough responses, they sent out the B list and then the A list guests started responding along with the B list guests and that how they ended up over capacity. Personally, his excuse is lame at best. I would attend and if the matter came up in conversation, I would voice my displeasure with how they handled the matter.

Honestly, I would have adifficult time going to a wedding where the bride thought this was okay. And if he was just blaming it on the bride...poor manners all around.

Wow. Just wow. I can't believe you recieved an email like that from a close friend. But then to have him blame it all on his fiancé? And all because they over invited? Just plain craziness all the way around. I'm tempted to show this topic to my FH. He's pro A and B list because we have so many OOT guests and I am non-negotiable on the subject. No way! We are only inviting the number of guests we can afford and accommodate if every single one of them show up. And THEN if we get a few declines, mores the better for the budget.

I would be done with these folks. That is beyond rude and then blame it on her. Umm Yeah.

Oh how convenient that he didn't know anything about this until after the fact. He sounds like a jerk.

Wow... Thank for the update! O.o This is why I refused to over invite, despite my mother's urging that "Not all of them will come, but they will die if they don't get an invitation"

Even though the groom says it wasn't intended for you, I would not be going to this wedding. Chances are that you were probably the only people to speak up against what happened, so he caved in.

I would call. You even open up your home to him but can't attend the reception? That's very rude. They really need to re think their mass email. I really hope you ended up being emailed by mistake.