Unconventional gifts you wished you received (bridal shower/wedding registry)

Utilizing the search function would save people so much grief.

Dildos. Haha just kidding.

I asked for a honeymoon fund and I don't find it tacky. I think it's stupid to be my 28 year old woman self asking for spoons, dishes and other household shit I don't want! So if someone wants to get me a gift that I will actually use/enjoy this is what I want. Obviously traditional people will still buy my silverware and coffee pots and that's okay.

LaNette, it's stupid to be 28 years old and asking for useful items, but it's sensible to be 28 years old just asking people for their money? Oh? How does that work?

ETA- @FutureMrsJohnson lol, I just noticed someone above us had the same response too!

Yeah @Victoria B. I have had house full of that stuff already. I don't need to update my pots and pans or silverware or any of that stuff. It would be a waste of their money to buy me something I don't want. So if they think it's rude I'm asking for their money...then they can go ahead and buy me the gift anyway. Plus everyone knows that brides get cards with check and cash it it or they wouldn't be coming up with these elaborate card boxes with locks and shit.

People know how to give cash - you don't need a registry to help show what color or style you're going for - cash/gift card/check - one size really does fit all and no one needs helping figuring out how to give you that.

If you really want your wedding gifts to go towards a honeymoon or down payment - then when someone is generous enough to give you cash or check - use it for that. Using a site that takes part of your guests gift to you, or that panhandles for money is just tacky. It's like standing on your website, or worst of all your invite, and shaking a tin cup at your guests.

Don't ever ask for money. You can always upgrade things. Or make a small registry and people will take the hint and give you cash.

We will not be registering for any kind of cash thing.

I'm sure you could use updated things or have a very small or no registry, people will get the hint!

All our guests will be from OOT. We are both on our 2nd trip to the altar, and have combined 2 households - so not only do we have everything we need, we have sometimes TWO of everything we need. (this includes upgraded towels, sheets, etc, as many may suggest). I was flamed here for having the audacity to even "suggest" on our invites that "your presence is all the present we desire. However, if you truly feel compelled to give a gift, here are some charities you may donate to, or you may make a donation in our names to the charity of your choice". Seriously? I totally don't understand how this is "more selfish" than creating a registry for items we do not need OR want. I do not need anything else to "dust".

ETA: clarity

If I buy you the skydiving thing, am I liable if your parachute doesn't open...?

@Wanda I wouldn't exactly say it's more selfish than a typical registry. I'm just peeved when someone says "your presence is all the present we desire" then follows it up with a bunch of gift suggestions (charity or not).

@alyssa b no they did not. No normal common sense person LOVES giving you cash for your downpayment.

BUY YOUR OWN HOUSE. Or will you be sending out college funds for your kids for all your friends to?

Should I go buy your groceries? Pay your phone bills?Maybe buy you some socks and bras?

Well first I would just like to say that I appreciate your responses, but I'm really surprised to see how rude some responses are. Maybe I just didn't clarify again my thought process behind this and why I find this way more reasonable.

1. I had a typo - I put in husband, but meant fiance aka future husband. I tried to change it, but the forum didn't let me to.

2. I didn't want to register for anything - but My guests are asking for to get me for the wedding. Wedding registries have become a traditional element of any kind of wedding - due to the fact that people just simply don't know what to get you, so they'd rather have a "guide". So a wedding registry it is..

3. I don't understand how putting on the registry bowls, pots, etc. for $50-$100 each is better, then putting one $1000 gift that everyone can contribute to as much as they want/can, which is discreet. How awkward is it for people who come to bridal showers and can't afford something large have a bride open gifts from others that are more expensive and then open theirs? This is the mystery to me how this is still acceptable .

4. I agree that saying "give me money" is not the way to go. But people want to contribute in a way and give a gift - so I'm opting in for creating a registry with gifts that have a story behind them, so it is personal and people know what and why they contribute to.

5. And Yes, I'd rather contribute to someone's life then give them a le crouset. Yes, I'd rather send you $100, so you can put it towards your kid college fund. Yes, If it helps you pay your bills, then yes. Like seriously, I don't understand how this can even be a question. Of course I'd rather get you/contribute towards something useful! If it's a travel trip, that will change your life - then even better!

And I'm not even mentioning that we have people out of state (and so do most people).

We live in the 21st century. We don't need stuff, we need memories. And I'd rather have my guests know that they helped us create those memories, then know that their napkins were on my dinner table or their ninja blender was sold at a garage sale two years later...wouldn't you?

Again the registry - fund registry or physical gift registry - is still optional! it's not an invitation, it's just a guide.

So I'll appreciate if you get to share your ideas here and experience with it . I think we need to change how gift giving concept works. #lessstuffmorememories

@OP I knew the second I started reading your post what all the responses would be. I'm with you. We don't need a bunch of junk. We don't need upgraded bath towels. I registered for maybe 20-30 physical gifts for the bridal shower and people that want to buy a physical gift. Then I created a honeyfund for our honeymoon. We're in our 30s. We have all the stuff we need. Traditionally wedding gifts were for the 20 year old couple who's moving out of their parents' homes for the first time and they need all the things. We have all the things! We just bought a house and now we're spending $30k on a wedding, we need money for a honeymoon and to recoup some of our wedding costs. It's an unpopular opinion, but what's the difference as a gift giver between spending $100 on a set of towels vs. spending $100 towards dinner and wine on a honeymoon. Every time I dry off my naked body I think of Auntie Susan and Uncle Philip?

@mel

Because these days if you have no registry or a very small one all guests get the point give you cash that's what we are doing.. that is what everyone else I know does. Unless you think your guests are idiots who don't get the point

In the last 5 years I went to over 35 weddings, not a single one had a wrapped gift on the table for the exception of my sister in law who is religious and got married quite young at 22 and they truly registered for all home things.

I'm sorry you NEED money for a honeymoon? You don't NEED a honeymoon, it is a vacation, it is a luxury that many people do not get to have. You don't deserve one either just because you got married

Do you know who gets a honeymoon? The people who can afford one, who have saved their own money and paid for it themselves.

Your guests are also not responsible to recoup your wedding or house costs. That is your expenses that are your problem to pay for.

Showers are gift giving events meant to shower the bride with gifts, if you have every little thing you need and don't need a single upgrade (find this very hard to believe) then guess what.. DON'T HAVE A SHOWER. How is this so hard to understand? If your mom/friend/other family offer you say no thank you I am so blessed to have everything and I don't want to be tacky asking for cash so how about we have a bridal luncheon which is not gift giving so I can hang out with some ladies.

What kind of fees does this website charge?

And Private, wth?????

@nonna

They charge a service fee of I believe 3-5% I don't know exact amount per each transaction.

Honest question here (because I don't at all mind getting flak for my honeyfund):

If Honeyfunds are so widely hated and so super rude to do, then why has barely anyone bought anything off of my Target registry yet we have gotten over $2k so far on our Honeyfund? Multiple family members have contacted us and said they would much rather contribute to a Honeyfund than buy something off a "normal" registry because they know how much we love to travel and "that is such a neat idea".....

Is that maybe....gasp....a sign that Honeyfunds aren't the devil as you WW gals would like some people to believe?

@RyaSnowy that IS a good question because I don't know one person who would donate to a honeyfund.

One of my best friends is engaged and registered at Williams Sonoma and also for a honeyfund. I'm not even acknowledging that and will be only looking at her actual store registry.

Actually, I just got a $500 gift and Honeyfund only took $14. Subtract $5 from that for a card that they would have had to buy me to put the cash in, and it's only $9 less than the $500 gift. Not worth being upset over.

Agreed! But we all know that it is 100% possible to be mean without calling someone a name. If people ask for advice, then they should expect to receive advice and opinions, no doubt. But we can all be a little more grown-up about it.