Unattractive=quarantine

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He lives with his parents and I live with mine and when my mom found out about our plan to try and see each other more his mom texted me sarcastically and angry . My mom ended up saying no to him being here too after I told her what the mom said. But in general they do that a lot especially when we first started dating.

View Quoted Comment Where do you guys plan to live after marriage? I feel like it’s going to be a bad choice moving into his parent’s house, since they are very controlling. Well, they control your fh because he is still living under their roof. Maybe it is best to move in together.

I have personal experience of a guy who could be sweet and caring, but when things got hard, he was his first priority. His family babied him, they hated me, called me names, tried to get him to dump me, and accused me of cheating on him.

In the end I broke it off with him and his family, and I've never been happier, because almost a year after that I met my FH.

Sounds like you have your whole life ahead of you. If I could go back and tell my younger self anything, it would be to fall in love with yourself first, and don’t put up with any crap from a guy.


I went through several emotionally and physically abusive relationships. I finally had enough, was on my own for a few years when I found my Prince Charming. He treats me as his equal and adores me as much as I adore him.
Don’t worry about the time and money invested in this wedding. Your life is way more valuable.

You need to make sure you're in the right headspace before you talk to him. The "idk" answer he's doing is a cop-out. He knows, he's just not saying it and it's insanely immature. An ex of mine would do the same thing -- they obviously know but they won't say it. It's disrespectful to you and it's childish.

I think you need to talk him and get a real answer out of him. Specifically, if he's "unattracted" to you, is there a way for him to be attracted to you again? Was he feeling unattracted prior to the shelter in place orders? And you need a real answer from him, because if not he's just wasting your time. You know your relationship better than we do, so it's up to you to make this decision but you need all of the answers and information before you can make a decision.

Personally, I think you deserve better. I was going through some of your other posts to see if I could get more information on your situation, and I think his family is toxic and they're rubbing off on him as he's staying with them. They're intrusive and rude, but he seems to be close to them. If he can't break-off from them and do things that will benefit the both of you, it's not going to work.

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This makes me really worried for you. It's important to speak about your relationship candidly now and not to rush to the altar. If he's the one, he'll be willing to wait while you work through some of these issues. If he's not, you'll be spared a lot of heartache. Remember that you are worthy of as much love as you give.

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This is definitely what I'm thinking as well.

And I guess I can understand some couples who are not living together are social-distancing/quarantining during this time (one works in a high risk environment), but my fiance lives just over an hour and a half and we are still spending every weekend together. I would be heartbroken if my FH told me he was not attracted to me. And we even just had a discussion about me feeling less than special when I came over and he'd just been working out and didn't change or clean up before we went out on a social-distanced (from strangers not each other) road trip.

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I feel like, personally, if he missed you he would try to make an effort to see you more. He could be depressed? But that's not an excuse to say he doesn't find you attractive anymore...that's an incredibly hurtful thing to say.

I think, deep down, you know what is best for you. It's hurtful either way, but I think you know what is the best course of action for you to take. If he's being lazy about your relationship now, getting married won't fix that unfortunately. Relationships always take work. If I were in your shoes, I would definitely want to have an in-depth conversation about this. I'm so sorry this is happening; I cannot imagine how hurt you must feel.

I would call him and ask him why he would say anything that hurtful.

Maybe it’s something that will come with age. How old is he? Do you think it’s just a maturity issue?

Not normal. I'm so sorry; I can't imagine how you feel. My FH took out my hair extensions with needle-nose pliers and sees me bare faced in a messy bun in PJ's all day every day, but he still makes me feel like the most beautiful person this world has ever seen. Every girl deserves the same.

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You need to let him go. If he's not putting the effort in to make even social distancing work, he's probably not as invested as you are. If anything, he should miss you and want to be with you during this time; not the opposite.

The PP have raised all the points I would have made. you deserve better than what he is trying to offer you. good luck, hun. my heart breaks for you, but i believe you will figure this out and be better for it.

I expect his " not attracted" is his way of saying, now that he does not see you regularly, he has found he does not particularly care or miss you. A sign that the good times have passed, the relationship is over, and without you doing all the work, he realizes, he cannot be bothered. And you need to let go. Whatever you have invested in energy and love, is gone now. Good for you. He and family did not respect you or treat you well. And he obviously cared about what he got from you, not the same as loving you. You deserve better. And will never find it, hanging on to this loser. Box up any of his stuff or stuff that reminds you of him. Take some time to cry and get past it. And find someone who gives and cares as much as you do. I am sorry for your hurt. But happy he let you see this about him. It is over. He is no real loss.

View Quoted Comment Maybe. He lives in a sheltered house at home.

View Quoted Comment I called him that weekend that this all happened and we agreed on working on some things. We pointed out things we feel we would need to work on . One last shot and if it doesn’t work we know where we are. Since last Monday we have met up and gone for walks or sat on my porch and talked. We want to work on communication properly, admiration, intimacy, trust, appreciation , boundaries on his parents specifically his mom, etc. everyday since then we have talked and seen each other and have discussed things that bother us. I also need to work on some things like patience and also to not be controlling as it makes him feel he’s incapable like his parents make him feel.

View Quoted Comment We definitely had a in depth conversation. He said the words he said he didn’t mean like he shows he wants to hold my hand and kiss me and stuff when he’s with me etc but I’m just making sure I can see how long this can last and he can keep it up

View Quoted Comment I agree We have talked about the option to moving it to spring time recently

View Quoted Comment Yeah we would not be moving in there at all. We would want to move in together in a different city especially.

View Quoted Comment I feel like I really do love him and would want this to work out and lately he’s been showing me the same so far.