Unattractive=quarantine

View Quoted Comment I actually just texted my therapist who I haven’t seen in about a year just for me. I think I am going to go for a walk with him Tommorrow and ask more questions talk more. I honestly hate this to the max

View Quoted Comment That’s a good idea. And try to get some sleep (hard to do when you’re crying your eyes out). But really important to take care of you right now. Hot bath. Sleep.

View Quoted Comment You are right I need to do some thinking for sure. I overthink a lot so sometimes I’m unsure if what I’m thinking is rational or not.

Good luck. I hope you find some clarity and peace.

That is not normal at all. Get out while you can because you deserve so much better than that

Not normal at all! I'm so sorry

I am very sorry. I can’t imagine how you feel right now. I agree with all comments here, but my suggestion is >>> Love yourself before him <<<


There is a good book you need to read, it’s from Cici B. She also has Instagram. She built me to be a much stronger woman than I was.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I ended up talking to him today asking what he meant. I asked him “so I asked you why you haven’t really been flirting with me etc it’s like we’re friends in a way and you said because the quarantine makes me feel unattracted to you but you are beautiful and sexy. Then I said I am sorry I’m unattractive to you during this quarantine and you said I’m sorry I didn’t mean it that way. So then I asked you okay if that’s not what you meant then what is the really answer to my question and you said idk maybe I do feel unattracted maybe it’s part of it.” I asked him to explain this to me because it was getting very confusing . He said “the distance makes me feel more disconnected to you” which still put me in a weird spot.

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Hmm...I *almost* get how distance can make couples feel disconnected (I've had several out-of-state relationships where we only see each other once a month), buuuuuuut.... you guys live 10 MINUTES away from each other! And if you're getting married you shouldn't be in that weird just-starting-to-date limbo land where you're still getting to know each other. It's not up for me to judge because I'm not in your shoes but I would highly suggest seeing your counselor anyway. Something doesn't feel right.

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While I know you love him, you deserve better. It sounds like he is making up excuses as he goes. Given that you only live tens minutes apart, there is absolutely no reason he couldn't meet up with you to get take out or go for walks. He could also send you an occasional flirty text message. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like he is too invested in your relationship if he isn't willing to put in any effort to make it work. In order to have a happy and healthy relationship, you have to work at it because life will throw you challenges that you will have to overcome as a couple. Since he said he is too lazy to put in any type of work now, I can't imagine he will later on. I know you are concerned about all of the money and time you have spent planning your wedding, but imagine all of the money and time that you would put into a marriage only to end up getting a divorce because he can't be bothered to put any effort into your relationship.

It’s definitely not great that he said that. I would try to either meet up or give him a call to have a deeper conversation about what he’s said and how it made you feel. Be completely honest with him because he needs to know that what he said really hurt you and that a red flag went off in your head. If you are going to be married, he needs to be prepared to talk about his feelings. I’m not making an excuse for him, but he could be having anxiety because of covid/social distancing and might be saying things he doesn’t mean. I think we are all in a slump and it’s taking a toll on some relationships. My fiancé and I are always honest with each other about how we feel and we have a very healthy relationship because of it. I really hope things work out for you both —I think a good long talk might work out some of the uncertainties you are both having.

I’m so sorry but please run. In 29 years of marriage my ex never told me I was beautiful. It did numbers on my self esteem. He would say he loved me but I wasn’t his dream girl. He would not even look up when I entered the room after 12 hours of work. He would say I looked like a mom after I lost weight etc. run run run. You deserve to have someone’s eyes light up every time you walk into a room, you deserve for someone to tell you you are beautiful every time they see you. You deserve to be missed, adored and cherished. You are worth so much more than what apparently FH can offer you and it will never change! Prayers for you!

View Quoted Comment Yeah I know. Like it shouldn’t feel that way :/ his parents are scared of the virus but I feel like they are milking the face that he is home and always there now. They were “allowing” us to see each other once a week.

View Quoted Comment That's ridiculous. He is grown man. He should be able to see you whenever the heck he wants. His parents sound like a part of the problem, but also a convenient excuse for him to blame someone else for his actions. He sounds like a child. You should NEVER be made to feel unattractive especially by the person you plan on marrying.

View Quoted Comment Social distancing makes your fiancé feel disconnected? DUH! That is how everyone feels in this quarantine!!! NOT a good excuse. I remember the talk show host Kelly Raspberry always said if someone is into you they will make time to see you no matter what. If he is dragging his feet, there is something else going on in his head. You need to talk to him in person (NOT via text and probably better after you go for the walk with the therapist) so you can get a better read on the situation, body language, is he keeping eye contact, does he seem as detached in person as he seems to be via phone, etc.


Also, has he even tried reaching out to see how YOU feel during this quarantine? Cuz it sounds like he’s being a whiny baby who is focused on himself and not his partner’s wellbeing too.

I would hope there is more to that story, but honestly he sounds emotionally destructive. You deserve better.

View Quoted Comment Wait, what???.... Sorry, but if I were him, I just going to move to your place, and not letting my parents tell me what to do.


Sorry to say, but he needs to make a decision. He sounded to me like he is not prioritizing you. You definitely deserve to be treated better!

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The thing is that we have had issues in the past, where I just felt I can look over. The biggest thing was an invasive family and how much they do not believe that he is capable of doing things on his own. The other thing was our communication, I was walks curious to why certain things happened or why he hurt me a certain way and his answer is always "idk" I am not perfect and I have hurt him too, but I felt that guilt and felt very apologetic and I am typically wordy and make sure he is okay every step of the way of healing. It is a bit different with him and I am not sure why because he says "idk". I have been telling him how confusing it is getting trying to understand what he means. I always try to ask for the things I need in the relationship and I don't know it is always chore for him. There is a lot of history.

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His parents want to limit how much we see each other because of the virus. I have no idea of this is toxic or healthy . I just don't understand. It feels like they want to keep him there forever.

View Quoted Comment He is ultimately choosing to live with his parents which means he is the one allowing them to control him.